22 hours ago

my mind is on repeat my mind lingers on the though of you every second of the day. from the curve of your lips that arise when you silently hurt me to the day you crushed everything i loved, my mind is on repeat.

my mind is on repeat. a move-like trance appearing on every corner of my brain. the memories remind me with its colourful details and unhappy endings that we were once lively. we were the definition of wild, untamed laughter in the early sunrise hours until the night swallowed us whole. i tried to pull down the stars and the moon like they were carnival balloons just to impress you. i miss the way i impressed you.
when i'm alone in my bed i search the corners and pillows for a comforting word of two you may have led behind when you decided to leave.

my mind is on repeat. i think about the day my heartbeat with align back up with yours. between bottle after bottle that i drown myself in i look for a concept of you; the charming smile, the dependent tear, the shifted gaze. i look to remember and remember so i don't forget, but by the time i'll see you i will not smile at our memories anymore. instead, they will float away like happy little clouds, and for the first time i will get a solid nights sleep without dreaming that you somehow still care. somehow, i learn in these dreams that i still care.

my mind is on repeat. i hope someday i will be better. i am drenched in golden sunlight and happiness until i think of you. your presence is a clenched fist around my already gaping neck and you resist to aim for the kill. your words shot like daggers and my shaky hands were no math. your resonating irritation makes it hard to breathe in the stillness of the night and for a second i could feel my heart skip a beat.

my mind is on repeat. i don't beg for answers, i don't allow my mind to fade away on those thoughts. i look forward and take big, long strides- i hold dear what was taught to me. i feel a tear well up in my eye, as my foot takes that liberating first step.

wrote this in the midst of life feeling like it was getting to crazy. do you ever feel like that? i think that as a society we're so consumed by everything around us and we tend to waste our time with things that hardly matter. i think this noise starts to build up and i find it so irritating, especially when i'm trying to be creative! nonetheless, heres what sprang from that idea :)
5 days ago

The anticipation is killing my imagination.
Perhaps I am overanalyzing this, but my brain on LSD seems a bit scary to me.
If I ever had a question about life and my existence, I'm hoping to finally receive the answers.
Counting down the days to an awakening;
Preparing mentally.

I was just listening to a song featuring a band we both like.

Funny, I wanted to take my mind off of everything that's happened but it only took my mind on an thorough tour of the turbulent past few weeks.

Wandering through my own mind, I saw how things were, how they are, and how they might be.

My heart is hopeful and my mind is eager to learn both in and outside of the classrooms at my college.

I have a feeling I will learn and discover a lot this year. I hope you do too.

I hope we discover a few things together.

To the future.
#life   #hope   #time   #thoughtful   #music  

I wandered...
Across an open field
And felt the waves of sea breeze
I tasted the salted waters
As drops landed on my face
I wondered...
Whether home was a mistake
I thought about the people
The graves and faces I left behind
Not thinking that I was home
All along
I waited...
For a distant train
Or a letter of reconciliation
Maybe even a voice calling out my name
Or a ticket of desperation
A message begging for my return
To a shallow place
And I wrote...
Back to nothingness,
That I was home,
By a deep sea,
A vast field of my memories

#love   #truth   #sad   #home   #thoughtful   #thinking   #family   #wanderer   #message  

Woke up in a state of mind,
I delivered.
Had unconsciously tête-à-tête with the
Creator of the universe,
I believe in...
I prayed to...
I wrote it...
I thought it...
I seen it...
Gazing at the cosmos,
Like a telescope...

Climb like the stairs,
To have a tête-à-tête with him
that's my clairvoyant.

Asked him,
What's the deal Lord?
What's the deal God?
What's the value of life?
What's life?
& Why do we live to die?

Dislike hellish predicaments,
That's I rebuke the fiends away
Only Lord has foreseen everything about me...
Only lord knows the truth I wrote
Lord knows I rebuke my rivals...

A dream talking to God...
Jan 31

The strangest thing is...
I was lost in a 03:00am dream as I wrote this,
The strangest fiend that I ever saw was
Riped with pain, in front of my eyes...

The strangest thing is...
I was still unconscious (Flashbacking)...
I opened the door and found the lightning next to the mirror
Ready to strike with unpleasant sensation...

The strangest thing is...
Still watching them strangest diabolical things happening,
That made me piously bias even more.

The strangest thing is...
I could not find my way back home
But I was escorted by a centaur...

I had a dream about all that...
Jan 29

I won't always be pretty
I won't always be young
I hope this heart is enough
I only have one

#love   #life   #thoughtful   #rhyme  
Jan 24

My mother's mother loved someone she didn't marry
And married someone she didn't love
Just for the sake of her own mother's approval
As I was falling asleep last night, I couldn't help but think
I would rather die before spending my life beside someone
Because it was the proper thing to do

Some rules are meant to be broken
#love   #sad   #life   #thoughtful   #family  
Jan 18

The imbalance on my rivals
Shows the lack of knowledge
Can not compete against me,
Elevated in enlightenment / of vivid devotion...

Solitary thoughts made me bias,
Cipher rivals got me satire -
Y'all know my chicness, can't compare.

I am emitted to make a decision,
I will not give none my "treasure chest",
I will take a chance and risk my on,
Facing my decision it's a funny feeling...

It's about a girl I like
Other guys are competing with me
To get her...
Jan 17

My intuition is telling me,
There will be better days approaching...
I'm attempting to approach the approbation
Of my career that I is going to fulfil...
My thoughts get real rational,
My feelings get real vivid,
My chic get elevated,

My intuition is telling me,
There will be better days idiosyncratic...
My intuition is never incorrect,
My intuition is illumine not an illusion...
With my intuition I'm imperturbable
Not everyone has the same one...
Not everyone has the same one...
Not everyone has the same one...

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