Afiqah
Afiqah
5 days ago

the soft whisperings in between  
the shy little stares I'd seized before
you look the other way
clingy as it seems
but I hope
I didn't make you feel any less awkward
when we fueled our tummies at diners
and I asked you to sit by my side
I just liked it better that way
when our thighs kept playing tag under table wraps

it might
kinda seem a little pathetically cheerless now
when I come by and asked the same middle-aged waiter,
"table for one, please?"
while he rummaged through my eyes, seeking
like something's missing

-a.

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Afiqah
Afiqah
7 days ago

stay soft,
live brutally

-a.

| a little advice for my younger self |
Afiqah
Afiqah
Jan 9

thank you
for dressing up my neck prettily
this poor, poor heart
has always needed a few of them
to beat synchronically
with the one
that's vitally throbbing inside
I know I always let you down
I'll forgive the wind if it rattles up the little chains
for I know,
even if
this is probably the last thing I would ever
feel anything new
they'd still stay collared together,
greenishly-blue

-a.

Afiqah
Afiqah
Jan 5

I've heard way too many
bleeding hearts talk
within the noise of living
how
some people are living it out loud
escaping to halcyon days,
sluggishly unstirred
while others
solemnly, remained quiescent
as they listen
to the heavy footfalls and all of the wild things
that crippled their soul
before their desires becomes
their own suicide

-a.

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Afiqah
Afiqah
Jan 1

I've been catching a hold of scenes
in my dreams lately,
these constant, ephemeral ones
every so often,
I'd find myself trying my hardest
to shut a goddamn door
but never once, sealed
what were those that stopped the door
unerringly
haunting all the nerves inside me
from even looking

-a.

Afiqah
Afiqah
Dec 31, 2016

how
nonchalantly it seems
having to wake up the next morning
looking over and see me by the bedside
to catch that morning face
slowly seeping away
the nightmares of yesterday’s rat’s nest at work
do you ever fall into the same pillow
each night,
trundling callously along
without having such intrinsic fear
now I’m not the hand that you hold

-a.

Afiqah
Afiqah
Dec 30, 2016

those times
I'd sit on the couch,
snacking away on my favorite pringles
and
I'd share it with the mother
while she munched down
her plate of dried squids
watching the reruns of her everyday tv dramas
we'd cry,
blow out our noses with packs of Kleenex's
how insanely blue
our hearts could ripen into
when the emotional part gets to our
sentiment

-a.

Afiqah
Afiqah
Dec 25, 2016

it's peculiarly strange how
in the beginning
I was the one in a state of uncertainty about life
and every other things
I went all like,
"I just don't know how..."
but
you've kept me composed all along,
sure-fired me that I was not alone
and somehow, definitely,
I believed you were here, for a reason

the later part, unforeseably,
came like a trigger warning cycle
and it twitches my heart a little
when you began to say those words, wistfully
just like how I did
and I still wonder why yours sounded
like an adieu

-a.

Afiqah
Afiqah
Dec 19, 2016

they tried to paint a sorry look
on each of their faces
while their eyes spoke in a different language
when I took a glance back
those were the days
I witnessed the fattest rain starts
to make its heavy mistfall to earth
like a thousand faucets gone off in the sky
all at once
I knew, then
time and hearts
seems to have worn me thinly

-a.

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Afiqah
Afiqah
Dec 18, 2016

she's one
who loves to dress herself
with rain
there's something about her blue's
that kept her lionheart
enamoured
with her soft, selfless being

-a.

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