You are the muse of my writings.
You are the Sun that gives light to every ink that marks on every page of that notebook I keep.

How can I give life to my words when you don’t trust me enough?
How can I prove to you that what I say and what I write are true when you don’t give me the chance to do so?

I am afraid, I am scared.
So I’ll continue hiding my feelings through my poetry.
When the time comes that we are both ready, I hope my words and actions will unite bringing along my hopeful heart.

We were standing under the dark skies.
The clouds were crying.
It was raining.

The air was humid.
It brushed off against my pale cheeks.
I couldn’t breathe.

The rain didn’t stop, but my Sun was standing beside me.
He was calm and warm.
His touch was gentle though it burned my racing heartbeat.

Under the glowing moonlight, I knew he shined the brightest.
His stare felt like I could melt in his arms anytime.

He gave me the chance to feel something beautiful for the first time. Something good, something sweet that I couldn’t put into words.

A beautiful memory.
Unspoken.
Untouched.

Your radiance gives me a clearer sight of love.
A better glimpse of you, because you are my only one. ☀️

I like how your scent became irresistible to my senses.

Even when I was walking right next to you, that fresh kind of aroma from your clean shirt and minty breath when you speak slowly strummed the strings of my heart.

It made a beat with a roaring sound.
It was loud that it pounded against my chest.
You became a song of love to my racing heartbeat.

I never thought waiting can be this painful.
It's like looking to the abyss,
ready to welcome the unknown.
How long will I wait?

Can I endure standing for a decade?
Can I just sit here under the moonlight and meet the next sunrise?
Can I swim for awhile and explore the depths of my thoughts?

I always thought I have been patient enough,
but my anxiety tells me that I am not.

So to live again, I need to breathe and endure the length of waiting.

I lost all my senses when I met you.
My directions were crooked,
My mind went blank,
I became dependent.

Your touch felt like home.
Will I ever be welcome when the time comes that I'll knock on your door?

The truth is, I am afraid of the answer,
I might not be able to handle the truth.

So I'd rather stay in silence with all of my what ifs until dawn.

Can I tell you "I love you" everyday,
until it fades away?

I want my confession of love to be my closure,
but my anxious heart knows it is not the answer.
It may ruin the peace that I am building,
the peace that I deserve for my healing.

"I love you", Yes!
but I love myself more.
If I have to choose between saving us, our memories
and saving myself.
I will always choose me, Josephine Mary..

I couldn’t stop this madness about you,
but for the sake of my sanity I’ll take this as temporary.

You and your memories with me will stay beautiful in my thoughts and in my writing.
You are my muse and you are my love.
You will always be the greatest “Sun” to me.☀️

Until we meet again.

I am not so into you, but there is something about you that I can’t resist neither say no.
I am uncertain but my heart says, I love you.
Once in a while you are good for me,
and for tonight you are all mine.
Just let me be, just this time.

I am not so into you, I think I am, maybe I am not but you are the kind that I can tolerate.

I love the sea,
I love the splashing sound of the waves,
I love how it becomes refreshing when it touches my feet.

I love the sea,
I don’t know how to swim at all.
It doesn’t matter if I fall,
down deep or just near the shore.

The Moon yearns for the Sun’s glowing light.
She waits until they meet at dusk, and kiss him goodbye when the dawn breaks to morning.

I am the Moon in our own universe.
I am the Moon who yearns for your love.
I will wait for you, so that I can hold your hand again and tell you my dearest Sun, “Welcome home”.