I'm afraid of losing my parents.
I'm afraid of death.
Never finding the "right one" is a fear.
Not being financially stable is a fear.
Never being genuinely happy brings me fear.

However,  my greatest fear is not being great; not being successful.

Her mind is corrupted.
The thought of *** is always lingering.
She's only 16.
Why is she having wet dreams?

She's such a ***.
That little thot.

She's always wearing shorts or tights.
I mean, although the weather's hot,
that's still not right!

Her makeup looks nice,
Her curves are right.
But why does she carry herself that way?

She wants all the guys eyes on her.
Dang.
Such an attention seeker!

Her hair is right.
Her heels are high.
I gues you can say she dresses nice.

But wait...

Isn't it normal for teens to think about ***?
Or even imagine it?

Everyone wears shorts in the heat.

She's not fat,
She's not anorexic.
She does have a nice figure.

When she steps out,
her shoes are nice,
her hair is nice,
her make up is right.
She looks fabulous.

She's smart
she has a good personality.

I guess she doesn't hang around girls because guys are cooler.
Most girls are just like me.
Judgemental.

She's actually pretty.
Pretty cool too.
She's comconfident about herself.
That's all.

Maybe she does it all for herself.
I guess it's just my mind that's corrupted.

Why is it that your first love leaves you ****** up?
Like how can something that was once so good scar you so bad?
How can someone that 'loves' you, hurt you so bad?

Crying for hours.
No sleep.
No trust.
Outrageous anger.

You left me in so much pain.

Love.
Trust.
Attention.
Loyalty.
Honesty.
I gave you it all.

But what did you do for me?
Lie.
Cheat.
Make me look and feel like a complete ***.

***** you left me resentful.

Now I'm not safe.
I'm not comfortable.
I feel lost and incomplete.

There's no more love inside of me.
No more trust.

I'm just full of insecurities and hatred.
I'm just numb.

Unbreakable.
Stronger than I've ever been actually.
Emotionless.


But now you see me on my grind.
Feelin myself.
Being successful.
Doing me.
Why you coming back?
Playing like you know me?

See let me get things straight.
You might be able to crack me, but you can't break me. The horrible state you left me only made me stronger.

When a female has a strong head on her shoulders,  she can never be broken. The blood rushing through her head creates stability.
She's independent.
It might be a bit rocky at first, but trust me, she gon be good with,  or without you.
What you thought you destroyed, was just a bit of reconstruction going on. Renovation for bigger and better.


Just look at the beautiful creation you made.

I use to be happy.
I wanna be happY again.
I still need someone to talk to; But that's my problem. 
I need people to make me happy. But then I get so attached and comfortable that my happiness is based on other people.
Its like I've been alone so long that when I find someone that gives me attention,  I get so attached to the point where I crave their attention.
It's like I'm not happy unless I get it.
I don't wanna be weird. I don't wann be clingy. I don't wanna depend on anyone for my happiness. 
I wish it would stop. I really do. But its not my fault.  I may be able to stop it but it would be hard. Be if I can stop it, wouldn't it actually be my fault?

Take time for yourself.
Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself.
Have fun by yourself.
Laugh with yourself.
Pray by yourself.
Observe by yourself.
Succeed by yourself.
Spoil yourself.
Live for yourself.

Sometimes you have to be alone
because you're the only one
that you can fully trust
with your feelings.
Yes.

You can tell people how you feel
but they still won't understand.
They listen to your pain
but they never feel
what you feel.

Not even the person you trust the most.

They can be there to comfort you.
Maybe they'll even cry with you,
but their stomach won't knot.
Their head wouldn't pound.

Then you'll feel the pressure of knowing that someone else knows what's killing you  on the inside.

That's why I rather be alone.

I came out of the womb
all alone.
By myself.

So I contain my feelings all alone
bottled on a shelf
inside myself.

I hate when I give my all to you
I hate when put you before myself
I hate when I pour my heart out to you
I hate that I cought feelings for you
I hate that I actually love you...
Because you don't feel the way I feel so you left me heartbroken.