Take time for yourself.
Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself.
Have fun by yourself.
Laugh with yourself.
Pray by yourself.
Observe by yourself.
Succeed by yourself.
Spoil yourself.
Live for yourself.

I hate when I give my all to you
I hate when put you before myself
I hate when I pour my heart out to you
I hate that I cought feelings for you
I hate that I actually love you...
Because you don't feel the way I feel so you left me heartbroken.

If I had to describe myself,
I would say...

I'm not just the 50+ scars
from blood-stained razors
on my left arm;

I'm not just the countless tears
I cried when I pleaded
with your deity;

I am ";"

";" is never-ending.

I am ;
because my story doesn't end here.

I am ;
because I am forever evolving.

...so until
"."
arrives,
I am ;

...unless it's with me.

Dating you is anti-climatic
and I'd be ****** if I ever
succumb to a part of me
begging to be cut loose from you.

I don't want to be swallowed by
the euphoria derived from
vintage pictures and videos;
I know that the saccharine
comfort will be both
short-lived and lachrymose.

I don't want to have to
flip through your new pictures daily,
searching for remnants of the love we shared
through the new love you'd then be experiencing.

Usually,
I'd wish nothing but the best
but I want the worse for you.

My mental is too detrimental
to handle you and another.
I don't want to wake up
from constant nightmares
leaving my stomach tied in knots
you'd only see on TV.

I don't want to sit at family dinners alone
when you were suppose to be there with me.
I don't want to have to look at chocolate desserts
and remember how it's your favorite
so although I detest chocolate,
I eat it anyway to somehow
suppress the feeling of you not being there.

I don't want to watch you fall in love with another.
You carry a part of me
every time you're apart from me
and I'd rather you cheat
than to follow what seems like tradition
and leave.

I don't want to watch you fall in love with another.
I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
and I'm down on both knees
pleading please,
oh please

I don't want to watch you fall in love
...unless it's with me.

Sometimes you have to be alone
because you're the only one
that you can fully trust
with your feelings.
Yes.

You can tell people how you feel
but they still won't understand.
They listen to your pain
but they never feel
what you feel.

Not even the person you trust the most.

They can be there to comfort you.
Maybe they'll even cry with you,
but their stomach won't knot.
Their head wouldn't pound.

Then you'll feel the pressure of knowing that someone else knows what's killing you  on the inside.

That's why I rather be alone.

I came out of the womb
all alone.
By myself.

So I contain my feelings all alone
bottled on a shelf
inside myself.