I stand. Surrounded by the darkness
That I create.
I wave it away.
It hovers out of reach.
Close enough to been seen,
Far enough away to relax.
Fear, doubt, anxiety.
Fear, clawing.
Doubt, with sharp teeth.
Anxiety, with its insect touch.
And lord of all, depression,
With his dark cloak ready
To blot out the light.

Squaring shoulders.
Narrowing of eyes.
I stand, drawing a sword of light,
Names engraved on the blade.
They give me strength.
The ones that depend on me to
Never quit, never submit, never stop.

And yet, no matter how the fight ends
I stand.
They stand. We stare at each other.
Stalemate.
For now.
I will never quit.
Nor will they. They are part of me.

Everyday I awake
In my cell
Four walls
Glittering bars
Holding me inside

The cell, ephemeral
the bars, transient
the lock, insubstantial
The guard simply stares

No matter what I do
I remain in my cell
i may leave home
I remain in my cell

What can I do?
I rail against the bars
That I could walk through
I pull on the door in frustration
That I could just push open
i swear at the guard
That would watch me leave
And not care

Why am I allowing myself
To be trapped here?
Why am I so...
Afraid.

Skeletal hands
Clutch
They yearn to hold
To clasp close
That delicate
Mortality

Where will they touch you?
What will they hold?
Caress your heart
To still its beat?
Perhaps your lungs
And steal your breath?
Or your mind
And rot your thoughts away?

These skeletal hands
Yearn to grip you
As they will
Always grip us all

They want to feel the warmth
Again
Of life and love
And when they touch
A soul
They steal it all away
Until only Darkness
Remains

Sweet scent of jasmine
Fills his senses as she steps
Into his arms
Softly he holds her close
One hand stroking her hair.
His eyes close
Enjoy the moment he whispers
To himself
She will leave and he will stand alone
She sighs gently
His heart skips a beat
Then she leaves
Hands the last to part
As she walks away
The scent of jasmine floats
In the air; a reminder
Of a moment when his whole world
Changed
When his heart skipped a beat.

Last night
I dreamed of home
Surrounded by
Laughter and love
Old memories made new
To the eyes of a young man
Finding his way in the world.

Last night
I dreamed of home
New voices
Join the old ones
But the same laughter
And love floated through
The air
Crystalline notes
Of joy
New memories joining
The old
In the eyes of a tired man
Seeking a new place in the world

Last night
I dreamed of home
I miss the warmth
I miss the laughter
The smiles
Easy conversation
That means everything and
nothing at all

And now I search again
So tomorrow I can awaken
And think to myself

Last night
I dreamed of home
And you were there

The questions sit
Inside
Rattling about
Rocks in a can
Disturbing the peace
They have to come out

Doesn't matter who
Doesn't matter when
In front of who
The recklessness
Of your curiosity
Shakes the world

People walk by
They listen and shake their heads
The internet laughs
They point to the trolls
Corporations listen
Equal mixture curious and afraid
Governments listen
In abject terror
And besmirch your character

Doesn't matter who
Doesn't matter when
In front of who
The recklessness
Of your curiosity
Shakes the world

Rattle cages and
Rattle minds
Wonder at the imperfection
Of the world's so called sanity
Question it all
Always ask
Discomfort breeds truth
Truth makes things happen

Doesn't matter who
Doesn't matter when
In front of who
The recklessness
Of your curiosity
Changes the world

Careless
Swept onto the floor
Shattering
Into pieces
Broken
Almost beyond repair
And yet time will be taken
It will be fixed
Days, nights
Weeping, angry
Loneliness
The changes creep in
Until
Finally
Whole again
Riven with cracks
Pieces missing
But whole as it can be
And the final fix
Into a jar it goes
Sealed tightly
To be seen
And not touched
Safe. Protected.
It hurts so badly,
You see,
When it breaks.

Heartbeat
Hammering in time
To feet pounding on
Empty streets
A fearful glance over a shoulder
Lungs burn
Legs ache
Cannot stop
Not safe yet

Turn a corner and
Lean on a wall
To catch a second wind
Hacking thickened spittle
Out of a throat
Raw from screaming into
The unending, deaf night
Hand on chest, feel
The staccato rhythm, before
Turning to walk home.

Surprise as a flash of light
Made solid
Slides into supple flesh
Screams are silenced as
Legs collapse.
The scent of life fills the air.
Shivering in cold confusion
Why?
Darkness nibbles the vision away
Until all is covered.

Hungry eyes watch as
Life pools on the concrete
Then the fun begins
Hacking, tearing
Ripping
Into pieces.
Darkness stands.
Wipes the blade clean
Walks away, whistling a merry tune

It was fun, my dear.
We must do it again.

Sit and think
Contemplate
The world as it is
What a difference
A year makes

Joy and love
Gives way to
Sadness and pain
Betrayal
The watchword of it all

Sit and think
What's the point?
Why is there this
Suffering
Torment and pain
Never-ending
Fades from time to time
But it waits

Watching like a jungle cat
Waiting
Just waiting
For a moment of weakness
For the prey to relax
Then it may strike

Contemplate the edge
As you thumb the blade
Wonder
What would it feel like
Is it true
That it's cowardly?
It's easier
To lay down and die
Than to keep fighting
Keep trying
And nothing changes

Forced to walk alone
For all the effort
To care so much
And nothing in return
The mind screams
That's the way it is
The heart weeps
Poor shattered thing
Wants to give
Can't make it happen

Shallow cut
On the pad of the thumb
Pulls the mind to reality
Softly swearing
The tool is cast aside
This time
As the wound
Is staunched

This time
The mind won
Survival
Over the pain
In the heart
We live to fight
Another day

Tick tock tick
Time runs out
Tick tock tick
I am here
Tick tock tick
I am gone
Why do we measure life
with the sound of
Tick tock tick?
Love. Friends. Life.
What is more important?

Tick. Tock. Tick. The bell chimes.
Where does the time go?
I am non-existent.
Tick tock tick.
I am here.
Tick tock tick.
I am gone again.

Silence.
Is it horrifying that time flies?
Tick
Is it a comfort to know
Tock
Our time flies, burning out like
Tick
A candle in the night?
Tock.
The clock winds down.

Light stands guard over all.
Darkness fears its brilliance
So we have been told.
And yet, shadows permeate the world
Soaking into souls;
Spring rain into thirsty earth.
Where is the light to the mistreated,
The abused, the unloved?
Is there something more,
Some unseen purpose
to pain and hate?
Or is it all
'Just because'?
When so much can be done united,
Why does bitterness drive a wedge between
Members of the human family?
Just because.

I sit
Alone
With my thoughts
They swim around me
Teeth bared
Trying to bite
I struggle
But still
Slowly
By inches
Wounds appear
Rips in my mind
Tears in my eyes
This pain grows
How long must I endure
What is left for me
But the fight
The struggle
When do i quit
I stop
I succumb
To the suffering
Is it in me to give up?

No.
Stubborn old man fights.
To stop the struggle
To quit
Is to lay down and
Die.
I am not ready.

So
I sit
Alone
In the dark
With my thoughts.
This time
Will I be ready?

Lines intersect in brilliant crimson
Visible between dark lines.
Vision blurs; the tenacity of anger
Screams against the need for
My humanity.

Rip it open on metal and see the dents
As they slowly fill with my crimson intensity
Gashes on knuckles leave their mark;
Splinters of wood become painted bright vermillion.

Anger acts like a wildfire,
Consuming humanity and
Replacing it with something
Less refined.

Paint my rage on the world.
Leave a mark for others to see.
A raw wound that refuses to heal,
Bandage it and carry on.

Lines intersect in brilliant crimson
Visible between dark lines.
My hands are ripped and torn.
The knuckles white and tendons taut.
The blood, my blood
drips between my fingers
To water the ground.