Barefooted in the middle of nowhere
Where the lost can never be found
By anyone whose eyes were only caught by fancy shoes
I was wondering if someone will notice the barefooted
Stepping on thorns and stones
Every night in that nowhere there's the lonely wanderess
With eyes closed and ears open
Enough to lead her to the wonder of nowhere
Where the music is slowly playing
That keeps the trees sway in sweet rhythm
And leaves slowly falling, touching the lonely wanderess
Until finally hit the ground and withered
Reminding an old friend who once she walked with
And the lonely wanderess wasn't waiting for someone
She doesn’t want to be found nor saved by anyone
Whose heart withered in a long walk to nowhere
The lonely wanderess is afraid to even take another step
Thinking she’ll never find herself without getting wounded
Not the road she’s frightened but the thorns she imagined
But she chose to die trying to find something she can’t see
Darkness is that nowhere and she’s less happy but less sad
Carrying nothing but less of everything.

-
Have you ever been in a moment?

When you wake up in the morning
You see it all blank
You feel like you’re nothing
Everything has no meaning
Asking yourself ‘why am I here’?
Why am I living but feeling dead
Why am I still here?
Asking what’s the purpose?
The reason for all of this
Then you find no answer
And you want to end it in a click
But you can’t
Because at the same moment
You still want to live
Be one of the braves
Whose still fighting
And you still have hope
That one day in a million days
You’ll find the answer
The reason why you’re in this moment

*Beholding the past
Dying today
And living for tomorrow.

Perfection... with my eyes closed
I see what I want to see
Feel what I want to feel
Owned the world in a blink of a moment

Mountains, seas,  places in dreams, all is free...
Hear the music that calm the demon inside me
See the colors worth to pay my eyes to be blind
And fall in love with someone that never and will never exist

Death, oh death would be the life of what if’s
What if I am her or what if I have him
The world of perfection says
*"Close your eyes and own me."

Letters, unwritten words
Papers, empty spaces
Waiting for the matrimony to create poetry
But how when I'm Losing Ink

I remember the time it's full
Filled with dreams, tears and fears
Now the blood of misery is diluting
And I'm Losing Ink

I should be glad, but how could I be
When the only medium I used to have is depleting
And I can’t lay my words on canvas
I know I'm Losing Ink

Empty, floating on a galaxy of being half
Undefined feeling, making no capacity to fill the cartridge
Week by week I’m getting weak
*And every day, I can feel I’m Losing Ink

As I look at the faces of other people
Struggling to survive the whirling winds of life
I knew I wasn't special
I'm just a cliche seeking attention
And I'm no special to be treated like one
I am just a little piece of humanity
Significantly living on my own but
Insignificantly existing to the world.

It's not what the book describes
That winged human-like flying above the sky playing a harp
That silvery immortal being shining so bright
That hero protecting you from any evil situations and suddenly show up to save you wherever part on earth you are
Or... or that angelic face that by looking, makes you feel heaven is so near
Cause literally I've never seen one that'll make me believe that heaven is for real.

No, I've never seen one, none when I was in the hospital twice
None even when my brother died
That angel the book describes never appeared to say I'll be fine
That angel I hope to show up in front of me and literally sing an angelic song and make the whole scene bright
Literally I've never seen one, none in those darkest days of mine
Nothing like the book says come.

But I've known Angels! They save me million times, a miracle in disguise!
Angels that are not human-like but humans like me, breathing and living
Though they can’t fly, they always come and sing with me to brighten those darkest days of mine
Angels that somebody God delivers when I'm in trouble with myself, trouble finding my way
Strangers I've met in those moments whose voice were so angelic that I can't refuse to listen, that everything they might say will matter
And likewise Angels that are burning in space twinkling shining so bright that by staring, makes me dream and smile in those lonely nights of mine.

An Angel could be that anyone or anything that touches our hearts in those moments we need most
An Angel is a family, a friend, a stranger, could be a star for what I believe!, or anyone, anything that'll make you feel that life is worth living
An Angel is the one that inspires us to do something good and to be good for the people we care, who care for us, or just for all the people
An Angel is the one that saves us in those desperate  moments, held us and whispers to keep on going despite the pain this world brings, we’ll be fine
An Angel is the one that helps us find our way in those strangest places we’ve been and makes us believe that there's a dreamland waiting to be our sweetest home
An Angel is the one that shows kindness, and make you feel that heaven is for real.

"An Angel is a Miracle, or... that Miracle is An Angel".

This place gets old
Stained walls,
Broken roads..
Surrounded, crowded..
Still, familiar..
Only familiar
Something's different
The scent?
The people? You?
Ah, No more you...

Your walk,
How you look..
More certain..
Different from what I've known
Is it change?
Is it the clock?
That keeps ticktocking
And every tick is a step
Taking you away
Far from me..

Time changes everything
Wait, no, no..
Time leads us..
To 'who we're suppose to be'
We don't change..
In process of getting to know
We discover,
This life
This place
Ourselves.

Once I thought
...
The more you give love
The more you receive love

But I am wrong
It doesn't happen to all

Some stories
...
The more they give love
The more they suffer in love
...
So how much will you bet?
**Is it worth giving the most for love?

When no one
pays attention
to your soulful
sad story.