She's so full of rage
Boiling at the surface
Ready to explode

I'm getting cold
And I'm not talking the physical cold
Not like the cold you feel when there's an absence of warmth
I'm talking a coldness that starts at the base of my skull
That spreads through my body and my brain
It's the kind of cold that brings a feeling of despair and empitness.
No amount of blankets or warm fires or even hot coffees
Can warm me from the dead winter inside my mind

I'm broken, you see.
Broken like the shattered window
That once held my sad reflection.
I'm in so many little pieces,
That just won't fit back together.
Yet I've tried to fix myself,
Defeat the depression.
But the "darkness" is all I seem to know.
My wrists and belly are covered in faint, thin lines.
Each one telling of a time that I felt hopeless,
A time that I just didn't think I'd make it.
And as I run my fingers over the scars,
I wonder if they'll ever fully fade.
If I'll ever rid myself of my demons.
Maybe if I keep fighting,
I'll win this war with myself.

The funny thing about meeting people
Is that we never know what significance that they may have in our life
That stranger you just made eye contact with?
They may be the person that you didn't know you needed.
Just give it time, soon enough you'll talk, you'll become friends
And friends may sometimes become more than you ever anticipated.
That stranger? It'll come to a point where you won't be able to see your life without them.

Although
my smile
is genuine,
the sadness
deep within
my eyes
is just as
real.

I'm happy
Maybe if I told myself
Those words every day,
Maybe they'll become true.
I'm happy
Maybe they'll change
The way I think
Make me more
Positive
I'm happy

I have these thoughts in my mind
That tell me to just go
Leave it all behind
Maybe you'll find happiness elsewhere
Because it's obvious that I can't be happy here
No matter how hard I try
No matter how much I want to be,
The stress and anxiety
Are just too overwhelming.
Maybe if i lived a life on the go
Never staying in one place too long,
Maybe I'll find myself
Find inner peace,
Find happiness.

The battle goes on
Ten thousand to one
Against monsters and demons
That haunt my mind.

Where is the end?
There is none in sight.
Just the darkness that threatens
To engulf me again.

For years I've battled,
And I'm losing my strength.
Sometimes I wonder,
Can I keep going?

What can I do
To rid myself of them?
But to end it all
With the slice of a blade.

But at the back of my mind,
I truly want to keep living.
But I just can't do this.
I can't, anymore.

And here it comes,
The ache replaced by anger
Fueled by the betrayal
Your lies, your actions...
I hate you.
There, I said it.
My love for you
Replaced by burning hatred.
I am done, we are through.
No more.

I once read that
The stars cannot shine
Without darkness,
Maybe I can shine
Even with the darkness within.

We never fight
We spit venom in the form of
Snarky remarks, hurtful comments
And bitterness
But we never let the anger boil over
Into screaming matches or wet faces
Until long after one of us has gone to bed
And the tears start to pour
And all the hurt comes out
Until it's time to carry on
And pretend everything is okay.

It's another one of those days
Where the shining sun doesn't match
The mood that I am in.
It's getting old, feeling this way.
Especially when I have everything
That people think would make
A person happy.
I guess it doesn't work that way.
Having a family, a house of my own
And the material things
That give the illusion that we live
The perfect lives.
I know happiness is above all that
I'm the only one who can give it to me,
So why is it so difficult to push aside
All this sadness and let the sun shine?

If I could be anywhere in the world
I would be with you
Because no matter where I am
As long as there is you
I am home

Already weak and vulnerable,
       A poison in my mind,
   You took advantage
You claimed I was strong,
       Manipulated,
               Used
                   Me.
But the unkindness of you,
Made me see the
     Goodness in me,
And I
   B
      R
         O
       K
         E
            Free.

The ground was soft
Like a bed full of clouds
The day the that I fell,
And kept falling hard,
For you, my dear

I was torn between
Living the life that I was used to,
Hiding behind my hair,
Being happy to go unnoticed,

And changing my life
And living to my fullest
Without a care
Of who is watching.

So much like the sun
Warms the earth
You have warmed my heart
I've opened up
The walls have fallen down
I see things in a new light
All because you
Made your way into my heart
And stayed a while
Calling it your home
And you could stay forever
If you really wanted to
I surely don't mind

You erected mountains in my mind,
Claiming real estate in my heart
That I never intended to allow.
I loved that mountain range.
But sometimes,
Sometimes I feel like you want to be
Nothing more than a rolling hill.

There's silence in her ear
But rumbling thunder
Through her mind

Everything fell apart,
Her heart and mind, a mess.
But what did she do
During her all time low?
She pushed through
And became stronger
Than she ever was

Memories of my past
Wait to be washed away
Like the dirt that hides
Underneath my fingernails

Maybe the spring will offer a chance
For me to re-root and grow again
Maybe I can take this season of rebirth
And take the pain,
Turn it around into good energy.
And let my heart bloom.

If I were to
Follow my heart
It would lead
Me straight
To you

There's nothing that I can do
To take back the hurt that I've caused
But I do hope that
The binds that tie us
Are strong enough
To weather all of my *******,
Even when I can't be the person
That you need me to be.
One day, the light will
Overpower my dark.

I'm not looking for someone to complete me.
When they go away, which they will go away,
I'll still be missing that piece, still be incomplete.

I'm not looking to make someone my everything,
When they're gone, which they will be gone,
I'll end up empty, I'll have nothing.

I'm just looking to love and be loved
And hope that it lasts,
Because something's gotta last

I may be a wanderer
A lost soul
Searching for its place
But when my heart's
Tied to another
I will always be happy
To wander back to them

I watched the leaves rustle and dance
In the towering trees above me
Reaching for the stretching skies.
Getting lost within the expanse
Of the Galaxy that lay
Just beyond my fingertips.

We see it on the weekly news
Another bomb, more people shot
We see it and we carry on
A moment of shock and then it's forgot

How many more people will die
Before we wake up and feel the rage
That will fuel the fire
That will make the change?

February fourteenth
Is just a day of reminders
Of a broken marriage
And the years of loneliness
That went along with that