If beauty is
what comes from a flower
that blooms,
then no winter must surround
your name,
no breeze could call you different,
for all those petals
that open to something pretty
imitate
the beauty you have become

My brain's a puzzle -
and my feelings

the pieces

I'm older now,
something
I wasn't before -
I could throw myself away
to hide myself
from what scares me
the most -
But maybe tomorrow,
when I'm an older man,
will speak differently
than what I can

The flowers bloomed
And the shade was green,
Suspended in time
When nothing was wrong –
I should’ve hugged her then

Her smile was a tower
That led to the sky,
Tumbling and rumbling
Through the clouds of my mind -
I should’ve hugged her then

I would like to say
That at least I tried
But no one who ever died,
Lived long enough to say that
To anyone

I should’ve hugged her then

If I could be beautiful
You might look at me,
And if I could paint
Your beauty such as this,
Then I might know you

If I was king,
Who had land after land,
And a singer
Who had you in his songs,
Then I might have something

But I don’t have much to give
So I'll give this poem to you -
I'm just a man -
A simple, broken thing,
With not too much to offer -
So I'll give these words,
So I can try
To give you something

If I had the world,
And a thousand different days -
Each second lasting,
Hanging your pain or smile -
So I could be with you

If I was different,
Just enough to be like you -
Then you might adore me
Or notice me so -
And I might know you

But I don’t have much to give
So I'll just give these thoughts -
For you meant something then
Just as you mean the same now -
I don’t have much to give,
So I'll give you
All that I can,
Just to give you something

She was everything -
But everything doesn't last forever,
and neither did she -

Happiness was
the clothes she wore,
but sadness

was the words she spoke
between lines of tears
that shattered everything

Lovely:
he hands a helmet, she
slips away with him into the night -

The rest of us -
we talk about concerts
and what makes relationships last:
I wouldn't know that though -
my head is still
wrapped around my last one, although,
I think it goes
a little something like this:

I will hand you my helmet
and you will hope
this doesn't crash.

Beauty walks your name
straight to the end -
Even when you're old and tired,
you'll still be just as bright
as you are now -
Clever lines the curls of your hair,
resting upon your shoulders
and in the ears of all
who listen -
Because you
are beautiful
in every way

When you're lost
and needing direction,
turn to this, as you would,
and know
you will be found

When you're freezing
and have no warmth to give,
turn to this, as you may need,
and know
Spring is on its way

When you're blind
and have forgotten how to feel,
turn to this, as it may come,
and know
that you're still beautiful

When you've given
all that you may possibly give,
turn to this, as it may seem,
and know
that you are truly enough

It's hard being someone
and even harder
being you

...am           I
supposed to be unhappy?

I think -
Everyone else,     is...
well -                          Life

is a drag:
I'm supposed to drink and
cry
to myself
on the stairs

I'm supposed to hate myself

and my life

or
I think I'm supposed to,

right?

I’ve been drawing circles,
The same ones
Over
And over –
I’ve been feeling sleepless
Night after
Night,
Hoping that I can work the courage
To talk to someone
And not feel so lonely –
But like I said –
I’ve been drawing circles.

She never had to worry about
Any of those strange things
That kept others awake at night
And pounded their doors

She always chose to walk alone
And tied her hair in a bun
So that others could see her eyes
But never know who she was at home

When she wanted to leave you,
Goodbye was never on her lips
For it was too good a word
But instead, "I'll see you later"

She never wanted to cry,
But always found herself doing so -
And she never wanted to be alone,
But always found herself so

She would give her heart away
Like a rain in the storm
So that others could feel
What she had loved so much

And if she could be free
Like the clouds she loved,
Then her voice would be heard
Among the weeping stars

But she would be written down
In some blank pages that
Didn't take up more than
A paragraph

For though she was here now,
Tomorrow didn't see that way,
And tomorrow never was
A friend to her

I opened the well-worn pages -  
The scent of a thousand years
Crinkling in the folds
That my nervous fingers
Turned,
Chapter after
Chapter –
It read like a river,
Streaming from the consciousness
Of hearts that knew
what it meant to smile –
but I was naïve,
a watcher from a window -
I read and envisioned
but did not understand
what others had so long away discovered
so frighteningly easily

You had once given
My heart wings
But now you stripped it
And left it feeling naked -
You once gave me
Strength when I had none -
Let me feel
When I thought
That I couldn’t feel a thing -
But now you took all that
And left me here
With nothing but these words -
Left me with the feeling
That I couldn't be more
Than what you see
Of me

But to your front door
would hope walk the endless street
where dreams and terror
would collide to
see you standing there -
but insanity wracks it over
as day after day passes
and day by day I hope
to see the time
when I can finally look up
to talk to
you

My heart mumbles your name
and my eyes long to see,
But everywhere
is somewhere that I won't
ever be

A song plays your smile
and my ears strain for noise,
But silence
is a sound that I
hear at course,

and Beauty marks my pen for you,
but I've forgotten how to write -
so blank
is the page that I weep over
tonight

deep bass is
a wide-open-night. Sweat and
stupid questions that really -
didn’t matter all that much
by the end of the night. She
once told me,
I don’t like poems with awkward line breaks -
I like full sentences there.
I dance along to deep bass and - by doing so -
I have awkward line breaks. I have incomplete
thoughts
that don't matter all that much.
I swear I don’t remember the way her arms
swayed as she danced to the Beatles - or,
even the space among teeth as she smiled.
deep bass plays me a song and
I try to dance but my my mind keeps
with questions of how she must be - no!
No. I do not want to think that.
but - yet,
my brain keeps with it, so I do. I do.

I still love her
even though she's gone

I still love her
even though
I never really knew her

I still love her
even if
she never
loved me

and I will still love her
till I'm old and bony,
a bag of a man
left to rot in the dark
without her

Because I

love her

In the shining shimmering lines of the day
stood you,
standing above all that was bright
and gracefully leading the way

those there heard you walk
and stopped to cheer you on

for on your head sat the mantle
of someone who meant something
to those who needed anything
and you called on
and you walked on
with such blinding
in all that was bright

Hope
          has feathers
and                          love
        is weightless

as for me

well
        I
           have  

none of that

        but
               Dickinson said
And
       and
              Lennon sang

No

                     I have no comfort
                            
                            no belief

                             in what
                                  I
                              can do




                                  But
if hope has feathers
                   then it must mean
                                    it
                                        must
                                                   fall
                       before it can ever

                                                Y
                                           L
                                      F

I am scared of growing up -
I mean,
What if I turn into
All those things
That I’ve feared –
What if
I was to fall behind:
See the backs of my friends
So happily ahead –
I’m scared of growing up
Because
I don’t know where,
I don’t know what,
I don’t know whom
I will be -
I guess I’m really just
Scared

I hear the ocean
and see the tears fall

collected in a bucket

standing outside my
window

I feel the knife
Stab my brain
My heart
Over
And over
Again
But when they walk to me
With a smile and a laugh
I can't help but to push it down
Under my own smiles
So they don't feel
What it is that I do
And I don't have to worry
About them being so down -
But the thing is
When they leave again,
That pain -
It's still there

When the flowers die
There’ll be no bloom -
no person to pick them for the one they love,
for when the flowers die,
the sun will weep
over how beauty
will no longer be seen

Peaches sit on my window,
Where emptiness had brought
Them here –

My phone rings
But no one calls,
I just wanted so badly
To see a flower grow
Where
Periods
Don’t stop a sentence.

When I will meet you
there will be no applause,
no getting stuck in the rain -
just you and me
and the fear and the excitement
with what's to come -
I don't hold the answers,
and I never will,
but when I will meet you
I will be the same,
only my head will be full
with silly thoughts
and silly words
trying to prove that I can -
For when I will meet you
I will simply be
Me

I know you don't understand
and I know you may never -
but tomorrow will be here,
regardless of the rain,
and when the sun shines
you will see,
that you always were
enough

But I saw the world
scream your name
in a flash of colour
that scarred my brain -
You were a smile
in an instant that
lasted forever
and filled my world -
But a second gone too soon
that I could never catch,
that I would remember
for all that I said

You broke
what you didn't even hold

Shattered

those pieces of me
so fragile,
without even saying

a word

and all the while
I would've torn everything from me
just to be with

you