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1.1k · Jul 2021
Remnants!
Punyaa Jul 2021
A void still remains.
sometimes we have a lot of emotions to deal with... many of those times we ignore them just to feel okay at an instant or we don't want to feel the pain or affection hidden in that particular, but if we stop introspecting each of them as they come, they start stacking somewhere in our soul, at the end we are just left with an empty guilt around a shallow soul. I think it's really important to open up! not to the world but by ourselves.
1.1k · Apr 2022
My question to you.
Punyaa Apr 2022
Can you fall for a voice??
A voice that came from miles apart..
Can you fall for it everyday,
Every minute and every second of your existence???
Can you fall for a shadow??
Can you run behind it even in its complete absence??
Can you turn your life upside down just to hear it in real??
Can you leave your core just to see the one you never saw in real?
Can you explain this madness apart from love?
Can you feel it's absence even when you were never sure about it's existence??
:p
948 · Jun 2021
Shallow
Punyaa Jun 2021
Holding scars on shallow soul!
Struck in dark loopholes!!
Faking smiles! Behaving the way i am supposed to..
Towards all those adversities I am exposed to.
Waking up with tender eyes,
Loosing myself in disguise!!
Dodging my own self!
Hiding all my emotions in deep shelves!!
Blaming every possible reason for this void,
It's always there, even if I try to avoid.

Becoming something I an not..
Being happy by heart feels too hard than I've ever thought!!
With this poem I've tried to define the way I feel..  everyone wants to be with cheerful souls, many times we have to pretend happy even when we are not.. especially when we don't know the reasons making us feel depressed.
917 · Jun 2021
DARK & COLD.
Punyaa Jun 2021
Facing darkest of the dark,
at the verge of loosing my lively spark!
it grows deep and intense everyday...
giving me wounds some or the other way.
something inside me feels incomplete;
may be some of those stories which I never revealed..
STRUGGLING WITH LIGHT AND DARKNESS!!
I've turned myself to mess!
every hope that knocks my door,
messes me up even more.
I still have a lot of things to deal..
things which cant be revealed!!
Growing DARK and COLD,
numb and mould!
everyday someone tries to shape me out,
i've lost myself to these self doubts!
SOMETHING BURNS ME EVERY MOMENT!
that particular burned even my resilience
this holocaust is BURNING ME ALIVE;
it owes my soul to thrive..

I am loosing myself bit by bit,
sec by sec...
EVERYDAY I AM GROWING DEAD.
with this poem i've tried to express what i am feeling from soo long.  i guess this poem is actually dark and cold. thanks for reading.
665 · Dec 2023
Untitled
Punyaa Dec 2023
I miss you....
I miss being myself with you!
:p
596 · May 2021
Dead & alive!
Punyaa May 2021
Dead is LOVE..
what's alive is HATE!!
these lines are my perception towards the situation humanity is facing... this pandemic holds a drastic effect not only on our health but also the human values we once had !! please try and make an effort on your level to keep humans and humanity alive!!
538 · Jan 2021
TO...Define
Punyaa Jan 2021
Here in this suffocating place!!
sometimes with high at the other with low pace..
with many humiliations! to face,
I owe a path to trace!

waiting for my moment to shine;
for that, all of this is almost fine!
to make all these adversities sublime..
I have an ambition to define!!
490 · Feb 2021
VOID..in my heat!
Punyaa Feb 2021
Standing alone...with a void in my heart!
and feeling that distorted part..
I feel it here, but still miles apart!

I tried to fill that space;
in innumerable ways...
everyday! with similar things to face!!

it sounds chirpy around here,
holding many unknown  fears!
this uncanny feeling is really had to bear!!!

A part of me broke  and flew away...
now it seems really difficult to make my way!!
its just that I really wanna run away!

I feel incomplete without any reason!
they say it will heal someday...
I'll find some other way.
From my prospective...Passing time changes nothing but seasons.
458 · Apr 2022
Wish me death.
Punyaa Apr 2022
I wish i was dead.
420 · Feb 2021
Love that doesn't exist.
Punyaa Feb 2021
Once it was where it meant to be,
now it needs to be set free;

The universe made it happen,
and then our bond slacken;

Light struggled with 'her' shadows...out there!
and then this eternal darkness appeared.
406 · May 2022
Fell for you.
Punyaa May 2022
I fell soo deeply for his vibe that i traveled this far just in hope of his proximity.
The best part is he never noticed this.
I still miss him.
:p
397 · Apr 2021
Never let ém know..
Punyaa Apr 2021
I never let them know their mistakes...
I never let them know how I feel..
I never let them feel bizarre 'bout themselves..

I try hard not to make them fall apart..
I try hard to make each of them happy in every way I can..
I try hard to hide my wounds and scars given by them..

but

when i find all of this too tough..
when i'm fed up with this stuff..
when i'm discompose..
when their absence makes me feel calm & compose..

I let people go..
I move ahead, all lone and never let them know.
I think it's not really important to have a huge crowd around you.. let  yourself free and intoxicated.
395 · Feb 2021
Apart.
Punyaa Feb 2021
We dreamt of growing old together,
.
.
.
.
then why we grew apart?
394 · Mar 2021
....
Punyaa Mar 2021
sometimes it's best to have pain,
For its healing again.
366 · Jun 2021
Messed up!
Punyaa Jun 2021
Standing in the middle of these innumerable insecurities..
Still waiting for those fake possibilities!!
Surrounded by all those liars!
Who pretend to be my admirers;
Feeling too low to express..
Too low to introspect!
Loosing everyone I've ever had,
Everyday things grow even bad!!
Too alone to be consoled...
Too exposed to be hated!!
Feeling soo alone,
Amidst of this mess I've created..
Far away from life!
With nothing for me to revive.

Here I'm alone with tears...
Growing silent..numb.. holding all my devastating fears!!
With this poem I've tried to put my feelings into words.. thanks for reading.
358 · Feb 2021
BURNING..soo deep!
Punyaa Feb 2021
Fed up of smiling so fake!
that smile...holding pain in it's wake,
Being addicted to.. hiding all my emotions..
chocked with all these suffocations..
I never noticed! when it became too hard to breath....
with my soul burning so deep.
300 · May 2021
My own GRAVE!
Punyaa May 2021
Wearing a mask every now and then...
everyday I've got a new role to pretend!
Running for the expectations I am suppose fulfill..
standing over my own will!!
Many a times its terrifying  to be someone I am not..
being a people pleaser  is much more devastating than I've ever thought.
Amidst of this blunder I really don't remember where I lost myself to what I've become...
when 'I had MY PEOPLE' to 'I have none'.
Wasting my emotions over people who are not worth it,
I turned my own self into grit!

here in this space I still  have a regret over the path I paved...  
that led to my own grave!
The moment we realize that the efforts we made in the way... to put together pieces of some other people, broke you even more is really devastating!!... coz at the end out of everyone we have lost we'll miss ourselves  the most!
295 · Apr 2022
Untitled
Punyaa Apr 2022
Your absence makes my presence everyday.
:p
280 · Oct 2021
infinity!
Punyaa Oct 2021
I think we all have some infinity between some else's;
for me my infinity is more infinite than your's
and you may think the other way ...
why do we keep comparing it all the time??
but, we all have one thing in common we don't want to see it finite!!  if some infinity tends to be more infinite then the previous ones;
eventually it put's a limit over the other one making it finite..
the fact is infinity lies between a finite interval!!
with this poem i've tried to replicate human behaviour we all want to see ourselves better on other people but the question is.... is that something we can't live without?? seeing everyone happy within their own infinity might work!
269 · Nov 2021
Untitled
Punyaa Nov 2021
Feeling worst then ever before!!
With nothing in me left that anyone could ever adore.
Things I put into words are rooted way deeper in my heart!!
Everyday there is something that tears me apart..!
In the race of existence,
Pain is the only thing that's persistent!!
every smile that comes to my face..
Comes with huge adversities to face!!
Life brings us to situations we can't even imagine... surviving it needs a lot of courage and resilience especially when you are you are all alone with your thoughts.
268 · Feb 2022
Where the love ends
Punyaa Feb 2022
I am breaking my heart before you break mine.
I know you read it
265 · Dec 2023
Out of love!
Punyaa Dec 2023
Finally falling out of love and making peace fall in my way...!
:p
255 · Nov 2023
Untitled
Punyaa Nov 2023
What did i do to loose you?
Was it the love i gave
Was it the promises i made
Was it the silence of melachony that bounded us??
Was it the care i never asked for!
Was that my commitment that made you step back.
:p
224 · Oct 2023
This Isn't kind of love!
Punyaa Oct 2023
I don't know why i let u break me all the time!
:p
213 · May 2022
I love you!
Punyaa May 2022
Hope you never get to know this.
:p
212 · Mar 2021
Still...AWAKE!
Punyaa Mar 2021
Why it's soo easy to say that I'm okay! even when I'm not!
At amidst of the ocean suffering this drought!
with this heap of emotions that rot!!
suffering kinda adversities i never dreamt of!
inspite of explaining all what's wrong
why It's always preferential for me to drawn?
why am I always abandoned...

For now I've  learned to fake...
holding all my sufferings and still...awake.
209 · May 2021
A bit of.. YOU!
Punyaa May 2021
I still hold a bit of those smiles you shadowed over my face;
                   a bit of that snow;
                   a bit of those memories we shared;
                   a bit of sorrows we had;
                   .
I still hold a bit you!
                   a bit of me with you!
                   .
                   .
                   .
                   .
but not even a single bit of myself...
I lost whole of  myself to you.
198 · Jan 2022
Nobody knows.
Punyaa Jan 2022
Nobody knows what goes inside your head,
Nobody knows the number of thorns embedded in your leg!!
Nobody knows what's going on with you,
Nobody knows if you're standing alone in the que;
Nobody knows the insight of that lively mask
Nobody knows if you have thousands of questions to ask;
Nobody knows the distance you've climbed uphill!!!
Nobody knows if you are standing on grave of your own will..!!
Nobody knows the real part of good you lie,
Nobody would ever know if you wanna die.
There is only one person that can stand by yourside that is you.
198 · Mar 2022
Loving in pieces!
Punyaa Mar 2022
This time being in love,
I have a lot to sum up.
am loving you in pieces...
From my heart's Detroited crevices!
Every time i try to open up my heart..
It is rendered in many more parts..
Parts that hurts!!
In the depeths of wounds and many more cuts!!
It's like growing up in insecurities again!
It's like loosing myself in a much deeper vain..
Still i am trying to love at my best..
With all the things that hits me hard within loneliness's arrest!
194 · Jan 2022
Bound.
Punyaa Jan 2022
The way it goes around,
In these four walls where i am bound...
It's way different from what others can see,
Why can't they just let me be?!
Momentary smiles knock after a million scream!!!
This torment is killing my self esteem!
Every place out of this house feels like home,
Its really hard to stand this all alone!!
Every moment my resilience burn in flames!
As I am paying for that false fame.
Hope feels like another word for illusion..
These walls actually define suffocation!!
184 · Oct 2020
The...LONE feed
Punyaa Oct 2020
Facing your pain alone is just like hell,
As you have no one to tell,
When you have emotions that smell,
But your pain can't be spell,
When you get hurt and still lonely dwell...

When your emotions on fire,
Over your satire,
And you've lost yourself entire,
When you see your crushed desire,
And still have no one you require;

When it's just unacceptable,
When you feel yourself rejectable,
And your self love is suspectable,
When your feelings should be in detectable...

When you just can't take it,
When it's never preconceptualised when you make it,
When you just can't rate it,
When you really hate it,
When you have pain in tonnes and you can't even weight it.
It's when we can't reflect what we are going through.
172 · Feb 2022
Untitled
Punyaa Feb 2022
I wish i could tell you the mess of my heart..
I wish i could share my distorted part!
On a verge of this new start,
On the grounds of things that tore me apart.
From the love that knocked my door...
To the distances that messed me even more!
From the past that stood infront of my eyes,
To the present that left me in disguise!
I wish i could love from whole of my heart..
To bend my life to this restart.
I am feeling the way i've been feeling from more than 5 years it's way too depressing to be stuck in a loophole wich start and ends in black, blank and emotion less. It feels empty all the time!! please let me get out of my mind!!
164 · Aug 2021
Who am I?
Punyaa Aug 2021
Am I the one who's affectionate enough,
Or the one who takes it all as a bluff !!
Am I the one who wants to fly high,
Or the one who wanna wait and give it a sigh;
Am I the chatterbox the way they used to call me..
Or a dead bot the way I feel myself to be!!!
Am I the liveliest of all alive the way 'they' describe;
Or the piece cork which let's everything imbibe!!
Am I the one who holds the limelight;
Or the one who sighs all alone at night!
Am I the one who still wanna feel alive..
Or the one who lost my battle to survive!!
We barely introspect ourselves.. And we do so we come across a huge difference between what we were and what we've become.. that's when we start having issues with our own self!!. Sometimes it feels like it's really important to keep ourselves occupied to surpass things we can't take;  but the question is until when??
161 · Jul 2021
Fall apart.
Punyaa Jul 2021
Waking up with heavy eyes and heavier heart!!
Everyday there is something that makes me fall apart.
Tired of feeling choked amidst of chaos,
& Facing worst of all my bathos!
Life seems soo difficult over death!!
Now it  feels like loosing myself in every single breath!
160 · Dec 2021
Silent screams
Punyaa Dec 2021
Drowning in a bottomless ocean,
Waiting for my end out of this suffocation!!
Counting my breaths everyday..
As something or the other takes remaining of them away;
It's dark and a bit cold out here,
Accompanied by silent screams that comes from nowhere!!
I feel myself growing numb.
I still wonder how i was to what i've become.
Sometimes we get struck in Neverending loopholes, it's really hard to hold even a slight ray of  hope especially when you know that the things you are dealing with doesn't actually own an end!! It goes on and stacks up and there is no choice left, but to accept the fact  that there is nothing you or anyone could ever do.
141 · Apr 2022
Untitled
Punyaa Apr 2022
Save me from myself
138 · Oct 2020
Faded
Punyaa Oct 2020
My very soul FADING INTO ASHES....
SPELL BOUND to these everyday clashes!
136 · Dec 2020
Omnipotent!
Punyaa Dec 2020
Deep down in shadows!
locked in dusky meadows...
Resides a consul;
with no one to console,
grown into a black body!
with silence as embody...
with all what's important;
she'll embrace her omnipotence.
we all have highs and lows, and sometimes in quest of satisfying everyone around we tend to loose ourselves this is the point when we feel lonely not because some people left, its because we lost ourselves somewhere and it becomes really important to use all what we have to emerge out  the way we want.
134 · May 2022
JUST FOR YOU.
Punyaa May 2022
I want you to know that i traveled 2000kms crossing 3 states JUST FOR YOU.
I know you don't love me...
I don't know if i love you!
But the way i feel about you is the way i never felt for anyone.
I found my home in your vibe,
I wanted you to be a part of my life.
I don't know if it makes sens to you, to anyone in this **** world...
But i still feel something that dwells deep within my heart
JUST FOR YOU.
I don't know if you still read my sonnets, actually i don't want you to read it.... i miss you really bad.
I don't wanna love.. but maybe i am in love with you.
:p
131 · Dec 2021
Inside out.
Punyaa Dec 2021
Walking just by myself in this dark night;
With no glimpse of those so-called fairy light.
This darkness grows inside out !!
With a million screams in my head that shouts aloud!!
It's way to hard to stand!!
When light by your side meet shadows at the other end.
This night feels colder as i walk through,
As no humanly warmth makes way to me even in the que.
.
I am still standing here for that ray of light,
That never meets my sight.
126 · Jul 2020
Hatreds
Punyaa Jul 2020
you never deserved what you own,
you hurted me even when you were known,
but still 'i' grone,
i curse you to be rendered alone,
i hate you for what you are,
trust me you are very far,
from being star,
because you are not worth of any power.
Sometimes we give importance to those who are not worth it.
121 · Jul 2022
Unloving you!
Punyaa Jul 2022
Do we ever learn to unlove??
Or the process of unloving even exist!??
Isn't it the core truth that we tend to love over and over again and again...
From one "and" another, "and" there after!
Love just takes birth,
It never rests in peace but in pieces..
A divine form of energy that holds on it's persistent existence!
Isn't it the eternal truth that our love can't hurt anyone outside our own body!..
Isn't it the fact that this fire soothes everything outside the owner's soul!
:p
117 · Apr 2022
Felt but never met!
Punyaa Apr 2022
To,
A friend i met in the middle of darkest sea,
A friend who held me free..
With whom i shared my core!!
Who promised that we still have our lives together to explore..
The one who stood by my side,
Hiding his pain aside!

The one who punished me with his absence,
Without my consent!!
Holding these faded emotions...
With my heart resolving those numerous questions!!
I still defend you in my mind...
I still wonder why that connection lagged behind?
To a friend i felt but never met....
In the quest of coming close in kilometers may be i left you miles apart by my heart!
I wish you all my luck and good of my destiny i hope you are happy wherever you are.
:p
115 · Sep 2020
Unaccused!!
Punyaa Sep 2020
Bearing up these doubt,
And not even freedom to shout,
I wish I had choice to think about..

I can't bother all this anymore,
More innocent I'm more they ignore..

Restrictions everywhere,
Freedom you don't even dare!!
Doubts and questions again and again over here..

I hate being accused every time!!
When I've not committed any crime.

I get punishments,
Even without breaking any commitments..

I really don't understand!!
Why it's all about holding my stand?

On the verge of this 'your so called freedom'
I want my wisdom,
Un accused from these questions that are dumb!!
112 · Nov 2021
Distraught!!
Punyaa Nov 2021
Standing behind these iron bars,
Holding a million wounds and countless scars..!!
Caged in my own thoughts;
With a constant feeling of distraught!
Unable to face my own face!!
Off-track somewhere while smiling so fake.
Too tired to confront,
Too lost to be awake..
Lost between hallucinations and alive,
With no reason left for me to survive!!
Sometimes we try hell hard to be happy and end up masking it.
111 · Sep 2022
Untitled
Punyaa Sep 2022
I wish i could unlove you.
I don't wanna write for you,
I don't wanna sigh for you.

I want a conclusion

Either to get you

Or

To forget you.
Dedicated to a poet friend i once had.
:p
111 · Feb 2020
prisoner of deadlocks!
Punyaa Feb 2020
Writers may be prisoners of dreadlocks,
Wondering someone around the clocks..
Writers are challengers challenging challenges,
May be rendered by renderers in savages..
You might be in peace if you don't write,
The loss is neither you have dignity fight over your intended right..
Writers are extensive introverts,
Silent souls in storm of emotions that hurts..
Some write out of beauty they see after betrayal,
Writers still have courage for retrial..
Proud to be speck of community of fighters,
Magnificent intellectuals and magicians of words this world calls them writers..
108 · Feb 2020
Not in...LOVE
Punyaa Feb 2020
I am not in love with you.
.
.
.
.
.
Am i not in love with you?
It hurts.
102 · Aug 2020
Glass cage!!
Punyaa Aug 2020
In this glass cage;
Fear, anger, anxiety and outrage!

I can see what's past and what'll be future;
But not my present cause of heart suture!

Similar things enter and leave,
It's gonna change ever is hard to believe...

Struck here in these four walls hearing defeat and demice!
Not even a single moment for my heart to rejoice!

Death and downfall everywhere,
With my heart lost somewhere....

Loud noices all around ;
Where am I bound??

It's really hard to tolerate!!
But these things don't even permit me to isolate!!

I am struck here in this GLASS CAGE!
With fear,anger, anxiety and outrage!!!
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