There are things that keep me up at night
Unfulfilled yearnings that turn to regret
Thoughts that steal away a good night's sleep
Words that were suppressed, never to be said

I guess I'm still stuck at that time
When I was yours, and you, mine
No matter how I press on every day
I still remain a slave to your sways

Harmless conversations from time to time
Cannot satiate how much I thirst for you
Your attention is everything that I seek
Your eyes remain lights in the shadows of my life

Everyday I live in fear and dread
That in a chance that we meet again
You will flash a lovely smile at me
Lovelier than those you had with me

Every night I pray in earnest agony
That I never have to see you again
Knowing that the happiness you have now
Won't ever be caused by me again

So here I am
Writing the unspoken feelings
Etching the hidden truths
That even now, as I write this poem
I want to run to you
Bury myself in your arms
And never letting you go
I want to return to that time
When I pledged myself yours
And you, mine
I want to hold your hands
Hearts connected
Fingers entwined
I want to say I love you
Whispering in your ears
Planting kisses on your cheeks
I want to disappear with you
To a place where you and I
Can freely speak the words unspoken

I need a mask
To hide the fears
Ensnaring my heart

I need a mask
To hide the feelings
I still have for you

I need a mask
To hide my anxieties
While talking to you again

I need a mask
To hide my frustrations
Over being not over you

I need a mask
To hide the chaos
That lingers in my broken solace

I need a mask
To hide the tears
And show you a false smile

I need a mask
To hide the screams
That I suppress in my lungs

I need a mask
To hide my weakness
So that you'll never see

I need a mask
To avoid my fears
Of seeing you happy
While I drown in my misery

I need a mask
To create a masterpiece
That fools me into thinking
I'm gonna be okay

I need a mask
To hide the fact
That until now
Nobody can replace you

I need a mask
To avoid confronting
These unavoidable emotions
Telling me that I still love you

I need a mask
To avoid everything about you
To keep my sanity in check
Even when insanity eats me away

I need a mask
To hide me from your world
So that someday
I may forget you

I need a mask
But which one should I wear
When I'm confronted with the truth
That you'll never come back to me?

You came in
A gentle breeze in summer
A warm touch of sunlight
A cool drop of morning dew

You went out
A vicious winter blizzard
A chaotic typhoon
A raging storm of emotions

You left
A devastation like no other
A life unrepairable
A hole unfillable

Being loved is a gentle breeze
Being unloved is a chaotic storm

Gaining love makes you king
Loosing love leaves you a beggar

Wanting love is a summer kiss
Getting love is a heart-wrenching battle
Keeping love, an unforgiving war

Having you was my idea of love
Losing you..

I don't even know where to start over

Time
Everything stopped in time
When you walked in my life

Eyes
Those blue eyes staring back
Placed me under your spell

Touch
When your fingers touched mine
My mind went into a trance

Whispers
Those whispers of your desires
Made me a slave to them

A Kiss
A passionate kiss placed on my lips
Sealed the deal and locked my fate

Embrace
You entwined me in your embrace
Gentle, yet subconsciously Greedy

Enchantment
You kept me under your enchantment
Playing with me under your fingers

Trash
Thrown away like trash in an abyss
When you were done using me

Curse
The spell became a curse
When you took my heart away

Despair
You left me in despair
In a cage of your enchantment

Fulfilled
The enchantment became a curse
The spell remained only in my insanity
The dreams turned into vicious nightmares
Pushing me to the edges of my mind
These games have fulfilled their purpose
Costing you nothing
But leaving with my everything

Heavy is a mind
That is chained to its past

Heavy is a soul
That knows no way forward

Heavy is a spirit
That keeps running around in circles

Heavy are the eyes
That never stopped shedding tears

Heavy are the ears
That remain slaves to your voice

Heavy are the hands
That knows no other feeling but you

Heavy is the heart
That is struggling to forget everything

Heavy is a person
That drags himself down
To memories that will never
Become a reality

Heavy are his dreams
If these dreams can never be
And will only be
The source of his nightmares

Heavy are the arms
That helplessly linger for yours
Constantly waiting for you
Though never to come back

No more
Please?

I've had enough

I think I'm going insane
My heart is jumping in my chest
My mind is in a psychedelic rush
My body in an uncontrollable addiction

With one look from those eyes
All my prohibitions are dropped
These feelings are growing stronger
Growing more potent than any drug

Your scent is an insatiable craving
Your lips tastes better than bourbon
Kissing every inch of you feels the best
Giving me a better high than
any marijuana

You leave me in a submissive trance
Every touch of your skin tingles
Sending shocks down my spine
I'm losing myself deeper into you

Your subtle moans growing louder
Playing like sweet music in my ears
As I slide down kissing every inch of you
Slowly working my way between your thighs

The way you caress my hair gives me goosebumps
Softly pulling my head towards pleasure
Leading me to your most sensitive spots
As you succumb to your wildest desires

Your wanting eyes pull me deeper
Your greedy lips devouring my own
Giving me no ample time to breathe
And yet I still want more of you

You give me a trip like no other
Our bodies colliding like wild animals
The way your nails puncture my skin
Leaves me in a high sense of euphoria

Every ****** goes deeper and deeper
Every kiss gets wetter and wetter
These raging emotions bringing us closer
Taking us to a ****** unlike any other

My body is in a lustful overdrive
My mind in a hallucinating blank
As our bodies keep on clashing all over
Finally reaching that ultimate high

This carnal love keeps on consuming us
Why do we bother to avoid something so good?
Your body feels more addictive than any drug
You lips the strongest aphrodisiac I need

I can't get enough of you
I'll always want more of you
This love is a greater addiction
Than anything I've ever had

Please give me more

Lingering questions on my mind
Like pests circling around my head
An open heart wanting to understand
A rushed yet unrelenting answer

Since when does falling in love
Giving everything you have
Become an unbearable burden
For the people you simply want to love?

Is my heart that frightening?
Why do I keep running around
The same, tiring and old cycle?
Give me a break, will you please?

I just needed someone to return
The love I wanted to give out
When did my actions of caring
Make me a villain in your eyes?

I don't need your full commitment
I simply wanted a chance with you
A chance to earn your time and attention
A small portion of your day is what I demand

And yet, why does no one ever stay?
How long do I have to keep this up?
Running around in endless circles
Only to end up broken and trashed

When will this heart give up?
When the tears from my eyes run dry?
Or my body can no longer feel pain?
Until when can I endure this endless cycle?

I'm almost done
Almost there
Don't test me
Loosing my patience here