I entrusted you with a tiny flame
to grow and to protect.
Together we grew it into a bigger one
You held it for me
So that one day I'd take
it back.
Why'd you douse it?
When it was still growing?
When I trusted you with something so important?
To me.
You ended what I believed in,
because you wanted something bigger.
I thought you'd be different.
But like every other shelter of
that little flame,
you failed.
Because you saw something more
magnificent.
You lost sight
of the beauty that you held in
your hands.
So you let
the rain fall through,
your crumbling will
and let it drip on the
growing flame.
So don't ask me for
another.
My match can't light another.

Sitting here in class thinking about you
Wondering how your feeling, what your up to
I think about you daily
When I don't see you it drives me crazy
I just want to be with you to show you how I feel
I'm crazy in love with you and you don't think this is real
You're still with her but I pretend you are mine
Late night texting saying it'll be fine
In my mind, I know this is true
But my heart going crazy, beating "I love you"
Love is so complicated and love is crazy
Everything would be okay if you were my baby

Mindless.
Everything we've had, to you,
It was mindless.
It meant nothing.
But you didn't bother to even mention how you felt,
I guess because you didn't feel anything at all.

Effortless.
Everything I felt and said, to you,
It was effortless.
I gave you everything until I was left with nothing.
I was too scared to mention how I felt, because I was afraid,
Afraid you wouldn't feel the same way at all.

Flawless.
Everything I saw in you,
It was flawless.
I fell in love with the way the corners of your eyes crinkled up when you smiled.
In love with the way you saw life, your humor,
The way you drove me wild.

Obvious.
All the warnings and red flags,
They were obvious.
But I was too stubborn to let you go until we were left with nothing.
Now, I find myself here, telling you how I feel, always a moment too late.


Happiness.
I am thankful for every moment spent with you,
It was pure happiness.
You taught me to be free and to find positivity in everything I could see.
I could never regret all that you gave to me.

Images.
All that's left now of us,
They are images.
But these memories, call me crazy, I wouldn't trade them for anything.
If they are all that I have left of you, at least I am left with something.
Even though truly what you left behind, in the end, amounted to nothing.



But oh well, I guess it was probably for the best.

I've always been slightly obsessed
with the human mind.
It just fascinates me.

How is it that one second
a person can be a stranger.
And yet, one second later,
they become your whole life.

I'm not sure if it's the way you first looked at me,
like for once in my life
I was being looked at and not through.
Or maybe it's how you made me feel like finally,
I wasn't so alone.

It's been 625 days
since that first look.
And now I'm right back where I started.

Transparent.

Like sitting with an old friend,
chuckling away with a simple ease
wishing the moment would never end
the stress finding its release

Not a word need be said,
just lazing away, the mind at bed
the heart at peace, gaily skipping along
we're no strangers to this song

A shared memory, of times gone by
that rakes up tears, but we don't cry
seeking solace in the others arms
we come closer, and softly sigh

A song we love, for so many years
the shoes come off, rub off the wear
we dance and dance, till there is no more
every moment a dream, every day, every year

What comes next, we both know
but each day is spent, in blissful fog
each hopes to be the first one to go
for life without the other, would surely be a bore

Oh fly, fly, where have you been ?
a freshly laid dog **** or some moldy old cream ?,
buzzing this way and spluttering that,
spiraling angrily on to the cat,
bang into the wall then on to the floor,
like a mad game of pinball with a very high score.
Where next, my fluffy black friend,
a  slam of a book and I'm afraid its the end !

© H V Swan

No lie is worse
Than the lie
One tells themself