who are you?

I search the darkness of my mind
memories over time
depths of the deep sea blue

I have no clue.

I am blind
and do not see
the girl in the mirror
who stares back at me.

I am not she.

on my tombstone
it shall read
a stranger
who was everything people
wanted her to be.

Even in death,
that is not me.

Uncertainty has become my enemy,
insecurity I wore until the end----- beautifully.

Excuse me while I make love to you with the lights on
we slow dance to your favorite song
I admire your perfume that I inhale in my nose
as I melt from your body heat
as I pull you close.

You inch closer for a kiss
I try to relax, body tense
This is merely imagination,
but the thought alone
had my heart racing.

First, I fall in love with your smile.

Next, you will fall in love with me.

But, love me while you can.

Because I will always leave.

it's not easy being me.
filled with anxiety.

it's not fun being me.
forever lonely.

it's not pretty being me.
especially the person I see.

it's not easy,
but it's my responsibility.

I've always only been somebody's maybe,

never anyone's baby.

To others I've always been a mysterious lady,

they don't know I'm really cRaZy.

I've always been good at masking my sadness,

Now I seem really angry.

Once little miss sunshine,

Now I'm cold, they call me Shady.

In a moment of weakness,

I flashed my true colors

it *****, because it really hurt my mother.

I fell in love with the light in your eyes

I'm dead and dark inside
my heart is not warm blooded
but cold, with icy cries
lonely tears, that your love
did not protect against my fears
because you didn't have the time
and I didn't have the years

now I sit in a dim corner
half past midnight
reminiscing the lover I lost
the thief of light