My dream is to smile again
I want to gi e a smile to myself
I'm tired of gi ing a smile to others
I'm tired of ʰᶦᵈᶦⁿᵍ behind my f̶̓̅a̷͗̄k̸̀͐e̷͆͘ smile
Someone please gi e me smile
Please bring back my smile
ᵢ wₐₙₜ ₜₒ ₛₘᵢₗₑ ₛₒ bₐdly
I beg you.

i sit across a redwood
familiar strangers
who hear themselves asking how i am
but never hear me answering
i sit behind a redwood
tip tapping feet in the shadow
they want to tip tap on out
i sit beside redwoods
others with their own familiar strangers
who hear themselves asking how they are
but never hear them answering
strange how we bond over
the fact that no one
is bonding
happy thanksgiving to my
unfamiliar kin
here’s to another year of
never being thankful until
we feel guilty
about it.

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.

when a boy shows you his hands
bare except for the dust
he’s begging you to look past
take them in yours.
squeeze them once.
twice.
say without speaking
that you understand that the valleys
in his palms were meant to cradle
shooting star wishes
that he’s allowed to still hope for.
when a boy shows you his eyes
of milk and crimson and melanin
a bloodshot vein for every night he can’t sleep
let him shut his eyelids.
say without speaking
that you understand that the black hole pinpricks
of his irises hold more than the universe
should allow.
when a boy shows you his soul
shivering but still working toward friction
iced over but still working toward melting
let him come to rest next to yours.
say without speaking
that you understand that he is lonely
and that his silence speaks volumes
and that you kept his treasure close
because you love him.
when a boy shows you his hands
show him your hands.
when a boy shows you his eyes
show him your eyes.
when a boy shows you his soul
show him that
this is a comfortable place to rest it.
when a boy shows you the hardness that shaped him
show him the softness
that you have in store.

I don't employ the thesaurus
To write my poetry
False airs are not invisible
It's not snooty words we seek
We want to feel the boiling of your blood
The heartsongs of your childhood
Loves you've lost
Loves you gained
Mistakes you'd never make again
Who took your virginity
And why'd you made that choice
What you someday hope to be
Sweetheart, use that vòice!
Be you, with words you know and use
What have you got to lose?

I sent you countless letters
Countless poems
But my words won't reach you

I have about thirty tiny wishes
But you probably can't memorize all of them
So let's put it simple
I want to be with you.