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I'll draw you a picture
I'll draw it with a twist
I'll draw it with a razor
I'll draw it on my wrist
If I do it correctly
A red fountain will appear
To take away my pain
To wash away my fear
this is my last and final goodbye
as I write this I think of the times you made me cry.
with your hurtful words
and your loving smile to others
the leather belt that struck my back and left the open wounds
the hot iron on my arm when I talked back
and the fist against my skull if I did something wrong.
love me, to mom
abuse is not to be taken lightly
 Oct 2018 Erin Johnson
MalakF
Noose
 Oct 2018 Erin Johnson
MalakF
This is not a goodnight,
this is a goodbye.
I can’t promise you that you’ll see me again.
Just please know that I love you with all my heart
and I don’t mean to tear you apart.
Please don’t grieve,
instead believe
that I’m exactly where I want to be.
One.
Two.
Three.
 Oct 2018 Erin Johnson
yúyīn
Forget the risks
Cut the wrists
Take the fall
If that's what it takes,
just end it all.
@.**
Train tracks and train lines is what I see
No obvious sign to stop me
One line crossed,
Another one stepped over
One gone right,
The other gone left
Lost in direction
No comfort or protection
Two more lines crossed
Another stepped over
Red rain drops now fall,
I'm now able to see them all
One more line to cross
No more to step over
Time to watch the rain fall
Fall on to each and every track
Train tracks and train line is all I see
Silly little girl
Don't fool yourself
They've seen your scars
Just don't want to help
Little do they know
How much it could change
With three little words
" Are You Okay"
 Oct 2018 Erin Johnson
raphæl
my brain and my mind
bemuse my soul of its hole
make me look and it took
every chance of significance
do I ask or do I mask
to decide the inside?
flavor or fervor
compare or contrast
order or ardor
the first or the last
wrong or strong
right or tight
completed or depleted
the night or the light
listen or christen
painting or fainting
sarcasm or ******
feeling or failing
hang or bang
sore or soar
blade or aid
less or more
to slice or to rise
to pry or to fly
to live or to leave
to die or to try
This poem's form connects deeply to my insides, really. Having to choose between two objects or concepts without definite relationships in each line portrays my daily dealing with my own indecisions in life. Well, I hope you decide your insides.
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