You do not even ask for forgiveness
Expentance only
That I would forget your sins

Scent of your sins
Woven in threads
Of my sweater
We unravel
Sometimes
Line dry, to high
Fallen to earth
Clothespin regret
Beyond simple days
Soap and water
Baptize me
Cleansing
Smell of sage
These are the days
We paint them red
Line dry, mile high
Scent of sins
It begins

I think

If I ever

Spoke

With you again

Tears would come

And they would never stop

I will drown

In that moment

Pulled under

My undoing

I am sunk

To the bottom

Of a hollow

Broken

Sea

With nothing

To resurrect me

Because only those with souls

Float

**

the best moment of my life
was when

you kissed me

between my eyes
above my nose
on my brow

and i will never ever forget

how loved you made me feel

You do not fear the trees
You fear the forest in the dark
The rustle of leaves you did not make
The wind in your ears you did not fake
You breath smoking against the crispness of the air
Cold existence, creeping into your lungs
Fingers not yet numb
Clutching at sanity
As it slips into the dark

You have no power here
I thought we were too gentle for anger
Too old for foolishness
Too tender to spear our words against each other
Who has been guarding you
For all this time
What did you fear would come for you
When you said you were waiting for me
Let the little things go
Let the sun go down
Be it on your anger
Be it coming through the windows
Gentle on the skin of love in the shadows
We are hollow bodies
Pouring out small victories
Waging small wars
There are no gates here
Blank paper skin
Traced with graphite fingertips
God told me you were human
I believed him
What does that make me
Are we not beyond this
The moment it is lived
Are we not so small in this world
Smaller to the expanse of the universe
Tiny in his hands as a grain of sand
Will you wash with me
Saltwater will unburden us
Currents will take us further
Pulling our love thin as a spiders web
We hung once
Participles in the air
Thick and humid and heavy
I will remember us as such
I will remember

I could write many words that you would never read
Empty rant words and deep flesh wounds
I could tell you stories to make you laugh or cry
But it doesn't matter cause its all a lie
I could make you feel sorry for the girl behind the screen
But it doesn't count cause there is something inbetween
I used a crow bar to pry the hearts I mended
And I counted stitches sewn by the witches
I vainly pursued more than one empty shell
But it wasn't worth it oh the stories I will tell

You asked for forgiveness. Forgiveness...
...and I said I withhold nothing from you, not even this.
Yet still, I do not hold my grudges or my feelings against you for those are mine and mine alone; I hold only you accountable for your actions for they are yours as foolish as they be.

Heaven will break today
Who can fault it
Cornerstones have crumbled
Are we passengers
Or participants of our own lives
I am painfully sober
When I think of you
The veil is torn
Shroud me with it
In the twelfth hour
Will you bury my body
While it's still warm
I will long for you
As a flower does the sun
When I too am deep in soil
Pray over me like I am living
Do you believe it
Are you loving
Does God know of your humility
As intricately as your sins
Shall I tell him for you
When I am before him
I have no stamina for grudges
What would I hold against you
That I have not unburned myself of

I called the stars down
They would not come
I was not there
When the sun split open
To birth the moon
These are my haunts
Black holes on the skirts of the beyond
I told you once
When I was a prophet
I warned you
The earth will not remember me
Now we are the forgotten ones
The forgotten ones
The only ones who remember

You, who I once found comforting
Now curate such opposite energy
What are you holding
Not in your empty hands
But inside
Where my stomach would be churning
If I spoke the way you spoke

these words are not worship, they are penance

Do not betray the love of a broken heart
Where will it go when you break it

I think
I could start to convince myself
I don't deserve good friends

The key to my handcuffs broke
The water I drank made me choke
The clothes I picked are to quickly stained
The laces on my shoes never stay tied
The messy buns just fall out
The roads I drive are always dead ends
The stars don't shine for me

The door is always open
But you never come
I will always love you
But this is nothing new
The light of my city
That is never with me
The path to my heart
I lost right from the start

No velvet ropes
Of ticket takers
Just sunken chests
And heart breakers

No velvet ropes
Or ticket takers
Just sunken chests
And heart breakers

Locked inside
Hidden from
Hiding the pieces
Waiting for my cue

Locked away
Keeping still
Sitting silent on my own
Burning down to the bone

You asked me why I was choking
I said, it was because I breathed tragedy
And you said, aren't you used it, the smoke of pain
I replied, familiar, yes.
Tolerant, no.

I have lung cancer
I have asthma
I breathe to live
But I breathe and die

Can I ask you
To filter air gently
Through your lungs
Before you release it
Into my mouth
I will devour you one day
We will burn
Like the sun when she finally dies
Big, and bright, and beautiful
You have never felt the cold before
I would not believe ice existed
After I feel
The warmth of your touch
Burn through me
Peeling back my layers
Until we come to center
I’ve got you
Right where I want you
Under my skin
Burrow into my soul
She longs for you
Like a breath of fresh air

I want to write for you
But sometimes I have no words
To string together like lights
I have only this love

The friend that left me
She never called
Never came back
And I don't think she ever cared

But you always stayed by my side
You kept me alive
Inside my head
I fought a ****** awful war
But you knock like and angel at my door

Closer than a sister
And more useful that breath
If I lost you
I would have no one left

My elven friend
Emerging from the woods
Like a nymph of heaven
You weave a spell of good

Call my name
And I will call yours
I am always here
That's what friends are for

I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU*
You don't have to do anything
You don't have to change
I just want you to be
Without feeling strange

Want you to laugh
And not hold your breath
Want you to cry
Till no tears are left

You can feel better
Without all the sleeves
Just take your time
I won't ever leave

I will chew until my jaw hurts
I will dance until my feet fall off
I will love until my heart breaks
I will smile until my lips cracks
I will laugh until my lungs explode
I will be yours until I am no more

Breakups are like being an angel in heaven

And no longer do I hear your voice beckon

Then so suddenly I am quickly falling

And still your voice is not calling

To a dry and mortal place unknown

But the worst part is that I am now alone

My wings have been ripped from between my shoulders

They fall in fire to the earth, where they smoulder

So they burn in a fire that just gets hotter

And my questionable soul thirsts for water

Almost as hungrily as my heart searches for your love

You know you will never again look down from the stars above

Yet now I am bound to this desolate earth

Cast out from the skies to a humbler berth

And so we try to survive in a world of desolate silence

For I cannot find your peace among all this violence

I stood in the cold today
So my breathe could freeze in my mouth
I knew if I cried
My glass tears would shatter on the ground
I know
What it is like
To be breaking

I'm just holding my breath for Spring

Your love
Embodies
The spirit of spring

Oh that I could whisper to you
The secrets of my heart
I cage myself within
To save me all the pain
But I am lonely here
I do so much in vain

I prophesied I would haunt you
Now I truly am your ghost
Abandon me of your shadow
As I released your soul
We are not bound to each other

How quickly we unravel
Skein of time slips into knots
I cut the cord
Wicks burn down to nubs
We are not bound to each other

Relinquished of your promises
I of my duty
I told you I had healers hands
You place yourself beyond reach
We are not bound to each other

Do not look for me in your dreams
Do not call for me in your sleep
I am not there
My spirit never had a place to rest
We are not bound to each other

Pray for closure, beg for it
Perhaps God will hear you
Perhaps he will care
There are no grudges here
We are not bound to each other

Said you would die for me
Now you are dead to me
Dig your grave, to lie in it
Surrogate funeral for your spirit
We are not bound to each other

I forgive you
Of your sins and lies
Time will fill your gap
Nothing will stead for me
We are not bound to each other

Do not seek me
When we are reborn
If you are healing
If you are well
There will be no reason for me

Is anger ever satiated
Slow burn, smoking up clear skies
In the back of my mind
The ancient dance
Barefoot with the blessed beings
The magick in the trees
Is stirring
Who would stand
Between the ache of an awakening
Some thousands of years
Even angels know
The gods will return
It is only a matter of time
To the shorter wicks of life
And yet we pray
For foolish things like patience
When we are ants
To the eyes of ancients
The dust on your shoes nearly settled
Blush of the land
Do not disgrace the motherland
Will you waste your days
Painting trigger fingers on the living
Pain knows no age
Joy no companion
Your wishes to the heavens
While unanswered
Are not unheard

I can pour myself into the world
Since you have run over in me

You are an open flower
I cannot help but wonder
Is this pure consciousness
Have you closed your soul
So soon
Unburden yourself of the past
She is not today's weight

They will catch you
Find you, and put you away
And you wouldn't of even -
Known they were looking for you
I mean sure as hell
You were lost, but only -
In your own mind of foolishness
So it is so inexplicably rude
For reality to interupt
Things were fine -
They are always fine
And of course by fine
I mean that they couldn't -
Possibly, be more wrong
But that isn't at all unusual
Some of us live in eternal chaos
Created by those -
Who live off of chaos
So I'm a high functioning dysfunctional
And you found me in a place
That doesn't even exist
To bring me to a place
That I should never ever be

My soul and my words
Each to live their own life
Yet in the end
My body shall sleep in one coffin

and maybe we all
                              relapse
                                         regress

fall back into what we were

while still
              desperately
                                clinging


to whom we think we are now

and maybe it is all in
                                   futility
                                              or
                                                  weakness

but that is okay

because things done in the struggle of
                                                                  darkness

may be worth more recognition

that those
                 done
                         in the light
                                             of day

what you cannot see changing

has no
           reflection

on the value of that change

They the future is bright
But all I see is blurry

I want to know what happens when the curtain lifts
I can stand the suspense so I make a wish

They say the past is behind us
But it seems so fresh to me

I don't understand how some forget so easily
I just want the chance to learn how to be me

The sea demons cold magic seeps into my blood
The sun warm fingers lost by love
A far embrace and distance stare
Prove it was them who lost something here

I just want to put my hand over your mouth
Stiffle the stupidity as it streams out of your head
Maybe I am just bitter
Time changes things
But a rotten core is good for only swine
The fruit does not fall from the trees
You came back for the truth
It draws you in
But too close
And at what expense
You would light a fire
Yet you have no fear of flames
The apprehension tingles on my tongue and courses through my senses
I pick my words as though they were flowers in full bloom
As sweet as honey
Oh how I wish they would sting
For what is this mess you make of things
Just turning over soil when you could be planting crops
The nuts have been gathered
By those that will devour them with the hunger of a winter
If only I knew how to wait out the storm
I clasp my hands together but they will not clamp
The desperation beads on my forehead and slips into my mind
Salty thoughts and a foolish tongue
Must it be bound behind my teeth
When I would lash it against you like a whip
I want it to sting
That you would turn your foolish head in shame
For your pride carries everywhere you go
You will come to find me
I will be ready
But not waiting
The foolish feet that carry you
Have many lessons to be learned
You will look at me with eyes of desire
And I will burn you alive with the fire behind my eyes
Just to give you a glimpse
Of what is waiting for you
Just one gate away

The gates care nothing for your regrets
And I care to much
If only I was as iron in my retribution
As the doors between us

You
So loyal
To your pain
Will you not
Even dare
Lift your head
For the sun to come up

You are a gentle memory
I cradle such
As the night sky does the moon