"witholding" poems
He knows what he's doing
a cruel manipulative mind
An almost 'split personality'
greatly disturbed I find
I thought I was free
as one situation disappears
but now another has arrived
tapping into all of my fears
It has all the same ingredients
but now served by a different spoon
my strength and sanity tainted
a different person singing the same tune
Playing evil mind games
telling ***** lies
witholding information.
He's like a devil in disguise!
This to me is so much worse
than someone yelling in my face
It's without a resolution
so I sit here alone, and wait
I fear vulnerability
it's been a dangerous place for me
his actions take me back there
then through the fog I cannot see
The control is no longer mine
I've never even been close
I can be toyed with anytime
by a wolf in sheeps clothes
So how can I protect myself
when I'm once again a vulnerable girl
disabling rational thinking
causing my mind and head to swirl
Others around me don't sense the threat
He doesn't look a menacing case
but he's repeating abusive behaviour
deceit is written all over his face
It's a lonely, frightening situation
I can't yet see a way out
I need protection from a loved one
who can be the one to stand up and shout
How can I explain
that this idiot really frightens me?
I'm feeling so insecure
I just want to be held you see
I want you to tell me he can't hurt me
you wouldn't let him so
just hold me a little closer
as I'm not sure that I can cope.
Nov 3, 2014
Nov 3, 2014 at 1:46 PM UTC
Growing up ugly, alternately fat and thin
eating scars for breakfast and time for tea
having almost climbed out of a buried bin
only for it to be upended & held in place with
1939's world atlas; the one that got europe all wrong
& like me, was designed with accuracy in mind
Personable birds of prey prodded, persuaded
and set free the mean old biped growing inside
beach ***** jolly popped and sandcastles raided
just to see the looks on hope & holyglow faces
their defeat in optimism: my triumph as ****
full circle towards schematic self-sabotage
Once again i am bitter drunk and to be wed
we improvised trite vows and cut ourselves
spare keys for access to one another's sickbeds
In attendance: maternal ghosts and retired reapers
hurting with knowledge & witholding screams
Liver-spotted harbingers of age and all its mistakes
Older now than I ever thought was likely:
refuse to fight against the alarms of everything
as everything and everything change around me
But there are too many different colours of skin
and i never was a tolerant, I was always just witch
Now finally alone enough to weigh my empty chairs
Surprising, that when black hands materialise
my own teeth flash & spit through septic spells
make even him blink, in his absence of eyes
For in his face is a nothing that stills me
It's the same nothing that i've rotted with
All my sorry life i'd settled this way, instead of that
To ask for one more would be greedy, wouldn't it?
Now it feels like I've begged before, i'll beg again
I think when he kisses me it will be over
Jul 15, 2016
Jul 15, 2016 at 1:46 PM UTC
How might he sing of this Queen that he found
Of their trip through the stars
Of the sights and the sounds
The soft subtle glow from her sun-kissed skin
Her Magic and rhythm that oozed from within
Of Holding her close, getting lost in her eyes
The lattice of limbs, the world passing by
Much more to this union than physics and heat
Their mind-space meeting place first of all treats
Hard to face truths they would tackle as one
Before all that JuJu had even begun
There in those convos through hours unfolding
A Lucid flowetry & neither witholding
She opened her heart up revealing her past
Her Darkness and Strengths
A history so vast
The degree of compassion and comprehension
Served as a softener, negating all tension
And he, he felt worthy, enough for a tear
To receive all she was
Dark and Light
Love and Fear
Pickled perspectives through dilated seers
Dissolving of egos & bringing forth tears
Humbly he knelt, for in him she would trust
Honouring intention
And Self
Before lust
Digesting their truths on candle light beams
Backing track soundscapes of finish him themes
Magnetic her radiance, a colourwheel aura
Bodies' bouquet, scents sweeter than flora
Skin to skin textures their grip free to roam
Tastes of pure Stardust
Her flavour was... Home
A moment removed from time's ceaseless pace
Light breaking birdsong, Love dripped from her face
The world switched on and began it's routine
While Awestruck he witnessed this manifest dream
Cat cursed yet tireless he played to her choir
Their Synchronous vibrations raised forever higher
There's never before been, nor again will there be
A woman of resonance as Perfect as she
Subjectively perfect, Ubiquitous truth
Yet how we see perfect requires no proof
All of his senses Peaked & Saturated
All his Desires
In this Queen concentrated
Once in a lifetime the lucky may find
A someone of substance who stimulates the mind
Once in a lifetime the lucky may be
With One who cultivates a compatible energy
Once in a lifetime the lucky may hold
The attention and Love of their true Twin Soul
But the idea that One girl could be all this and more
A concept so enticing he just can't ignore
The poetry of Presence
The Nourishment of Osmosis
The Freedom of the Eternal Now
She's Imperfectly Perfect
She's Perfectly Imperfect
His Queen Supreme
Feb 3, 2017
Feb 3, 2017 at 1:32 AM UTC
When Daniel swam out towards the island,
the children and I saw it happen,
the family safe on shore, oblivious
to the riptides that pull
shells, weeds, flounder, and men down.
We could not believe the ocean claimed him.
He had romanced her,
witholding for once
his scorn for things too vast.
Today, I leave this coastline,
its cliff-faces and inlets.
I walk on the beach,
and then I walk into the water
up to my ankles, knees, waist,
up to my neck before I let the sea take me.
I swim,
I grow fins,
lose my arms and legs,
gills supplant my lungs,
and my face flattens 'til I'm fisheyed.
I am a citizen of the sea,
come to sue for my loss.
I swim like a mad maiden,
I swim,
then I dive below, dear Daniel.
Apr 22, 2012
Apr 22, 2012 at 4:36 PM UTC
Things aren't the same as they once were.
Perverted, our connection, you and I
due to the nature of an incident I procurred.
I miss the endless adoration once pure,
now muddled with a **** up and a "bottom's up!"
I raised the glasses, the bottles, the steins,
witholding truth, I ended with a bolsterous hiccup.
I laid in bed that night, in a drunken stupor,
covering my cold body with a sheet that lied,
hoping to move past so I shan't become part of a looper.
Alas, all was finally revealed and I to blame.
A fool to follow the masses, I couldn't find my own ground.
I should've fought harder, but now, I only feel shame.
I tried to embrace for that's all I knew what to do,
She shoved me into a wall, tears trickle down her face,
And all those barriers that I once broke down,
are now being rebuilt in what feels like the original place.
I don't know what to do.
I've lost all the trust.
Actions over words, she says.
Hit, Stay, or Bust.
I'm trying, lord knows I'm trying,
but in the dead of night,
when no one can hear,
I sit in the bathroom,
failing at holding back all those tears.
"I'm sorry, babe, I'm sorry."
Those words mean nothing now.
Words. Can't. Fix. Everything!
She loves me, which is why she stayed,
giving me a chance to fix the error of my ways.
She musters a smile, but I know that heart of hers is frayed,
but I'll find a way to prove to her that I am what I say:
The man she fell in love with, built on promises of old,
And if I may be so bold when I say, that I promise
our little sweet peas, will learn from this story and uphold,
the honor I had to fight for, and the lesson I had to be told.
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 11:18 PM UTC
I am the epitome of love
my love is light that shines so bright
my light shine upon all of the ppl which i meet
most cant handle the brightness of my existence
so they shield their eyes and never look directly into the light
There was a guy who thought that he could handle my light
but was afraid to try and fail
so i dimmed my light so that he may directly into my love and see
but witholding my rays of love did nothing but burn my soul
But one day he saw my love for what is truly was
and felt as though he had to look away for he was not worthy
but i say this onto all those who read this note
to take heed and forgot not these words
You were created the Ultimate God
There is nothing greater than the love he has for you and therefore
there is not greater love than you
Your love is the ultimate
Your light is pure love
Love for yourself is a love for God
love yourself and then there will be no light too bright for your eyes to see
for those who never learn to love themselves will live in nothing but darkness
Dec 26, 2010
Dec 26, 2010 at 3:28 PM UTC
He's just a vapor appearing on the horizon..
offering me some.
He's just a musical tune,
a story that I zoomed in on ta listen ta its toon.
And I don't wanna feel a thing.
Feeling is costing me somethings.
I don't want that vapor of smoke..
I have wings to keep me afloat.
Baby your wanting that private moment.
I'ma wonder where it went.
I need ta feel what your flying on.. what keeps ya strong.
Has you holding on..Makes ya wanna bring me along.
I'm tired of wondering.
Tired of witholding.
Maybe I just need scolding.
Cuz I knew all along
yah was just a vapor of smoke on the horizon.
Wanting and needing yah some...One!
Maybe meh.
what ever it is your experiencing.
imagining... and playing within your mindful melodies
be at ease ALLOW ROOM for my perplexities.
and excuse my exits when I need em.
Cuz you are like Mr. give me some relax have fun.
And I must be mindful of meh.
And not feel a thing..you see.
by selinasharday Rose 2017 S.A.M
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 9:24 PM UTC
[Some-a-ways-on-down the line, you stole your way to my sleeping. You took only-pictures, before finally, robbing me of sleep-at-all. So, I guess I don't slip, and fall, in love. It's black, inside my pen, and I can feel it, and use it to write, and run out-of-it. All-empty after-April, and then it's time to steal-another. From work, from a friend, or, from her innocence. Am I making sense, yet?]
Are you with him, [page 12] right now? Am I paranoid, or am I creepy? Am I making you uncomfortable, just by asking? Am I thinking-the-friendship is for-simple, forever? In-the-fire, over foolishly having been buried-in-love, with you? Can I share this without regretting it? I don't regret writing it. Witholding absolutely all respect for what-may-happen-next, for the fiend, the blonde-model I've wished you would call: "Ex." And, all the air in my lungs I've got left, and a small cloud of smoke, and designs for a theft. I'll say, last-way: I love you, I don't regret that I've said it. I just hope, win, or lose, here, you'll text back when you've read it.
[Rolling Studded]
[page 13]
Wrote, in-silver-soaked-December-fourteen,
eyes-rolling, over the
studs, in your wrists.
Now, you be the gunman.
I've felt like the anti-Christ, the whole-way,
from home.
Rust-red, rather
than blood, rubicund,
just "read, anything-at-all, to me."
Shoot me with your
right-hand, sterling, and
bid the Devil, "back-down."
Jul 25, 2015
Jul 25, 2015 at 5:44 AM UTC
Fear is an opponent. Fear needs to be knocked out. Fear is witholding. Fear needs to be broken down. Without fear there is no safety. With fear there is so much terror. Fear can be balanced and tamed. Fear is common don’t be ashamed.
Mar 15, 2019
Mar 15, 2019 at 4:27 PM UTC