Color floods to the spot, dull purple.
The rest of the body is all washed-out,
The color of pearl.

In a pit of a rock
The sea ***** obsessively,
One hollow thw whole sea's pivot.

The size of a fly,
The doom mark
Crawls down the wall.

The heart shuts,
The sea slides back,
The mirrors are sheeted.

I came here for a vacation
i didnt expect to meet you.
But now you got my attention,
And id like to get to know you.
You’re pretty
you’re fun
and you’re kind.
I dont know if ur gay or straight but the way you act got my attention.
And i guess i could say,
i like you.
You helped me in San Juan when i was walking way up front, u didnt know u helped me cuz u thought i was sleepy since it was 3am.
You didnt know that when you placed ur hand on my back then held my hand,
it helped me & snapped me out of what was happening inside me.
Iv liked u since i met you that night.
I like how fun you are.
I liked when u played beer pong & when u danced at thw party we went to.
And for some reason when you blew me a friendly kiss last night as u said hi,
it made me warm inside,
made me happy.
i know you see me as just a friend
& i see u the same way but also as a crush…
I hope we hang a lil more before i leave.
you’re fun to be around.
So can i get to know you?
& you can get to know me too :)

I don't feel it, You say. And, pray tell her
name, my sir, that i may find she thee and prithee

Bear me off to southern sounds, fallow fields,
an altar ground, a garland rope of singing springtime snows.

this may be more than i can--;;
                        YOU
                        ARE
 ­                       NOT
                        WOR
          ­              THW
                        HILE

and i had such an awful dream last night--

you said, Bronwen, my love;
and i could not sweep her hair from the floorboards
beneath which you hid your ***** mags from mice.

because you tell me about it.

                                                            ­              WHOAM?
you speak of gOd like dOgs & i am worthless coinage
in the sewers. the sewers find my dress still hanging from your bones.
your bones your bones your piano finger bones
kiss me again

until my lips swell my throat bleeds i do not want you to know how much i crawl spiderlike through the trails of hair in the drain as the autumn leaves the summer leaves the spring buds freeze over hell i am not i am not listening pan-drum please let me say this one last thing:;

he is your accordion player the ***** player man who speaks fluent french and inflected english he is your accordion player on the pipes-----

and you say i do not feel and i reply,

this is too bad too late, chuckle replay as your fantasy walks through the door my team my team she is porcelain lovely see the perfume in your synesthesia colorblind goat footed grandiose Cesar with epilepsy she is your dream she is she is she is!

&meanwhile; the trumpet in soul still plays solfeggio---

1 2 le 3 4 1 2 le 3---1 2 le 3 4 1 3--le 1 le 3 le 1
she is the discord of the seventh in the tenor line
she is membranes she is rain she is towels

                      LEIGH **** IT

if only if only you weren't so lonely i might call you mine and bring you back homely.
IF ONLY-----Charles weren't so busy while you

stare at silver spoons and cherub smiles

and cupid calls you home again.

Drip
Drip
Drip...
Goes the blood from the blade

Splat
Splat
Splat...
Goes the blood on the floor

Squeak
Squeak
Squeak...
Goes the mouse on the floor

Sniff
Sniff
Sniff...
Goes the mouse to the blood

Lick
Lick
Lick...
Goes the mouse to thw blood

Choke
Choke
Choke...
Goes the mouse on the floor

Fall
Fall
Fall...
Goes the mouse on the floor

Die!
Die!
Die...?
Goes the mouse on the floor

Ha
Ha
Ha...
Goes me :)

i know it today,

life is a short stay,

amidst all wants and desires,

of which one never retires,

desires for self and self ones,

greed together of million tonnes,

such things though many times,

force me to think of crimes,

betraying someone's trust,

for things less worthier than dust,

seeing death every other day,

still thinking we are here to stay,

for and ever till,

our pocket affords the bill,

but no thought is given,

wether we go to hell or heaven,

our debts money won't pay,

karmas will be counted for each day,

during our life's course,

when we did things with force,

which was given temporarily to us,

to display whoz god and what he does,

acts of humans should be such,

giving an estimate of how much,

greatness would be in the one,

who owes such a nice son,

who loves him and all,

whoz values are infinitely tall,

whoz presence inaugrates all ethical energies,

whoz work is beyond all intelligent strategies,

who realises god's omnipresence,

and make him his life's essence,

remember all my dear friends,

when all of our life ends,

our powers won't accompany us,

as in life's course it does,

what goes with thw soul then,

is all of those times when,

we have made someone smile,

and loved some other for a little while,

laughed in someone's good times,

cried in other time of destiny's sad rhyme.

I know it today..........................

My journey begins with my family of four, in my dark room in the comfort of my home. At times when I'm alone thoughts would consume me forming skeptical illusions. I did my best to keep control of my senses, but every single time something kept pulling me back. I soon became aware of my spiritual battle, and how my family was at risk. Keeping my loving family together was my concern, refusing to repeat the cycle of pain again. My young boys looked up to me, watching them play, laugh, and eat embraced me with motivation. Everyday was a fight not with my woman or kids, but with the devastating world. I wasn't meeting my standards, I was slowly loosing track, eventually I fell from my feet. The Devil was loose I could feel him near, my love strayed away from thw truth. My dreams and accomplishments I threw them all away. Making the world a better place was my motive, but I happened to build conflict within myself. Everything transformed I couldn't settle things right for myself. My love was deceived by the beast, reasoning with her became a hell. She turned into someone I was unable to recognize any longer. She was vulnerable to the wicked operations penetrating her heart, and crushing down her soul. Tears were shed, blood was dripped, scars were made, things were broken, painful words were spoken. I should of left when I had the chance, but how can I her soul was entwined with mine, her hearts been torn apart, beaten down, ripped apart, stepped all over. Her soul was under attack, so I did not turn my back at this moment. It hurt watching her get lost in despair, agony, and frustration. The Devil came around wrapping her in chains, her feelings died, strangers became best friends, loved ones became insignificant, what was once important became a thing in the past. We had precious moments, good times, unforgettable memories spent together although things did not last she is a wonderful woman. She was easily pulled away, drifting towards a secular careless lifestyle, giving up her morals and self respect. I wish things would have turned out differently, neutral by far establishing a sincere friendship atleast for the sake of our boys, however I can't blame her for it, even if she is the one to blame. I can only let time pass, and watch as her eyes open to the truth, and realize her deception.

B: Broken among the mess that is love
E: eternally Gratefull for thw hell that you put me through
A: awake amoung the sleeping wolves
U: united as on person are many
T: tied the knot that is death
I: ignight the flames of romance
F: fire burning in my eyes
U: Understanding nothing
L: lies

Joy, shifts through my fingers, displaying true diapason
To all earth bound quality, I find truth in thw whispering wind,
Singing all true paroxysm of chaos into one binding solidarity.
For why I have benn this far? Faught this hard, Unmoved, swayed
By the pestamistic animals rotting away in this system of survival
Farther than the eye can see we run in hope of flourishing past our own beliefs.
A piviotal concept it is,  runing for deeper understanding and merriment
when the amaurotic people choose to not see it was in your hands the whole time.

Why is coeds so. Good at poem sew you ask?


Ha
What a stupid one you are guy


Ime thw voice of the nation, you know that's true.        But thing is ya know I'm grea, do you filled

Have you Ben stein watch going on Henry'



Whom thrifting is unmatched  laddie

I dell,chomp you know thei is ri

Atiocorrdt doesn't exactly ymwor doff name beaut I like is all the maybe


Hohe man I'm phony bad I'm goooîd

black words with their black letters
s   u   g    l
  q   i    g      e    across the page

i t ‘ s  ha   rd  f  o   r me to rr e a d
i think my i’s are broken
my I’s are broken
my ie’s
my eyes my eyes i think my eyes are broken
and my head hurts
like the demons inside are
P O U N D I N G
a                       u ll screaming RELEASE MEEEEEE
g                    k                                                    
   a               s
       i nst my

thw ords ar brken
r my hed is brokn
or im brkn

i think
i need
some
s l e e p
z
z
  z
   z
     z
        z
           z
          z
       z
     z
   z
     z

Loneliness is a very blunt hammer, that crashes against your walls as you sleep

It keeps you up at night, haunting your mind with ghosts of crippling doubt, and silver demons that cut at your skin

It makes your mouth dry, it makes every step feel heavier, it makes your eyes bloodshot with anxiety

For it is a sinister thing, it creeps into your skull and burrows into the grey matter

It makes your lungs feel constricted, and your tears heavy with salt

It makes your fingers bend against the window pane, your words choke againt your bleeding teeth

As you sit in your slumber, and feel thw hollowness in your bones

Lonliness is a grotesque beast, that lays with you in the night, and whispers deathly hymns to your soul

It’s a insidious thing, a truly isolating angel, a god that seeks to punish

sorry for not really being active lately, I've just been relaxing and trying not to feel the pressures of thw=e outside world while I drink coffee and watch the office all day.

Feeling so lost
Unable to get by
Trapped in all the reasons why

Im feel like  the pain is so deep
Its just grows and grows
Been through so much
Pain I  maybe going insane
just when I thought there was hope
I GET THROWN OUT
not even a joke
What is this life
When all I try for get torn apart .
Made a mockery of this chaos
A dangerous place
You wont see
nothing left but empty seas
a good thing that is now bend
A lovers grief is strained
Not more passion to gain
a broke promise to  hold on
Why do I feel so wrong
A door now Shut in my face a downhill path with a fresh dig grave
A metal cage for ones who need
To be gone
Now Its fond memories of us never last so long
and all that was there was a very truthful stare.
All the I loves yous and words of phrase
Alk thw Im sorrys
And now we must part ways

Not really sorry .
Not really truth
Just a lie or two because
hamging out with me was fun
Amd now its not fun
and you really dont even care you just shame me and derail
I will take this knife in hand and cut out my heart
Will you please hold it for me
Cuz I can look at it no more
Its so much trouble
I DONT WANT IT ANYMORE

Why do people ask? When theyre not willing to listen or understand or empathise with you. I was
More.., more than the labels you put on me. Before you harmed my spirit. It left me nothing..im just a mere assumption now. Strange how they ask what is wrong with me showing such concern for me. But if you domt want to listen then why even bother to ask. World is a scary place. You dont get to decide what should hurt me what not. Im not what you think of me. I am what i think of myself. Criticism never bothered me unless i got it from someone i love. Not mentioning the fact that i gave warnings about my trigger point , "dont get on my knuckle, im barely getting it together please"... yet it went on and on. Which lead me to the edge of hurting myself. Attacking someones self esteem and confidence,. While ignoring their constant request not to do this to me and still doing it on purpose is worst you could do to someone. NO ons uses Mental health as as excuse CONSIDER that. Dont go the extent tht they wanna **** themself. Be careful they are fightimg the battle you would never know.  You cannot become powerful by pulling someone down constantly. I saw it and i felt it everyday . It was not just your opinion. But you were bringing me down and you were clearly enjoying it. Maturely i gave you many signs to stop it or either try to be gentle with me. But you ignored me. You never listen to me you just beilieve your own assumption. How does my self esteem not matter to you? Why do you love watching me on my knees? Or i just look best on my knees? Dont be little my pain. You were clearly bullying me. And dont navigate my feelings. You dont get to direct tht. It wasnt just your single opinion. You pulled up like 100 of reasons abt why im not good enough! Everydayyy!! How csn you be so cruel! And here, you are questioning me why i did what i did for thw damage you done to me. Seriously!?.. did i not mentioned clearly please dont gp there im already struggling with my self esteem. Dpmt break me. Dont break me. But you are deaf i think or you just do it on purpose. And then you call me weak. I was fighting internally with my depression and low self esteem. You were supposed to cheer me up..but did the exact opposite and made it worse. These damage you put me thru makes me awake at 5 in the morning. Dont make anyone feel so worst abt themself and then act like you have done nothing. Dont play dumb. And dont act like im a immatured *** these assumptions are not gonna help you to hide the harm you caused to me. I wont forgive this! Not only this but you adrressed my mental health as excuse.  Did i asked you to help me in my tough times to help me realize my self esteem? No! I was dealing with it all alone. Somehow you seen me struggling there and decided to stab me. I saw it in your eyes how you were enjoying it and how low i think of myself didnt matter to you! Here i am coping with voices in my head tht you put there. No matter what i think now they just wont shut up. This note is all gonna be useless. You wont empathise me. You even criticise me for my good english. I cannot beilieve you. I stick with you and cheered you up when you were having hard time with yourself and this is how you repay me!?. Well, Thanku for Nothing and your silly judgements. But I AM not your JUDGement. I will bring out who truly i am. Your judgements, criticism and assumption all has to fade.

I found the Valentine you gave me in 2015,
Just a month before you "CONTRACTED THE 'MAN-MADE' AIR BORNE VIRUS (That everyone is exposed to but, that effects everyone differently )
In your case it effected your immune system to attack your own heart."
By the time we go to the Emergency Room they said that the damage done could not be repaired  and your heart was only functioning 10% of what a normal 44 year old. They told us without a heart transplant you were going to die. Then they told us that in order to qualify  for a heart transplant you would have had to be at least  20%or better.  
When the transplant team came in to see you and let you know that they were nolonger going to be a part of your  care...You wouldnt be needing their services. You were all smiles and shook every ones hand. T he phone rang and  you told your boss that " Yeah...the transplant team just left...they said that I dont need them after all... let everybody know and tell them all thanks for the prayers  and well wishes...as soon as they get me out of  ICU they will be allowed to vist."  You said you didnt know yet when but you'd call as soon as you found out.
You accepted the congradulations your boss made an announcement to your co workers and everybody cheered . "Right On!" Somebody yelled Clapping and whistling" Way to GO!!" We Love you Dave!"GetWell" ...
Love You Guys Ill See You Soon!"

I watched  from my chair by the window.  You with tubes and wires and hoses  hooked up to monitors  beeping and Machines a huge thing cslled a plasma blaster was trying to eliminate every single white blood cell to stop your immune systems attack... it was now after your liver and your kidneys. They were also using chemo . They were doing everything  they  could..
The heart surgeon was standing out side the room trying to get my attention when I caught him waving out the corner of my eye. I nodded to the doctor and raised my index finger  and tilted my head  in your direction.  
  A s I walked over to you  I had tunnel vision  I dont know how my legs were  making strides so that each foot  could rise and  fall  and create a step . All I could see was you with dark circles under both eyes, and sweat beaded  up on your brow and upper lip . A huge smile  the first time you smiled the whole time  wed been there.
 " Honey dial Art's number on speaker phone... I gotta  tell Art."
I dialed the number  and kissed your cheek and said Id be right back I needed to go have a drag off a smoke.
"OKAY ,YEAH ,YEAH GO AHEAD."
It wasn't forty minutes ago that you looked at me  in desparation and fear.
"PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME. PLEASE! Please just stay right here.. hold my hand  and dont let go..
I Promised, "It's  okay " I said, " I will not let you out of my sight. "
I turned to face the door ,still wondering how  my body was managing to function..All I really want3d to do was collaps...curl upand wrap my arms around my legs as tight as I could.
" Please God, Not again.WHY.?? HOW COULD YOU BE SO ******* CRUEL.? What is it that I need to learn for you to stop  hurting me like this??  NO...I GET IT NOW... it's not God at all....but Satan who is doing this...but then where is God??Hello??!! EXCUSE ME.?!!, I could use  a little help here...DO YA MIND.??? YA think maybe just this once,..  oh man....I have lost my mind completely
..this is an hallucination... BAD TRIP,!...... I had already tried  to convince myself that this was all just a crazy dream. Slapping water ******* my face! "COMMON...WAKE THE **** UP"
I Barely noticed the tears had begun to stream down my face. I heard "Hey Bud  Whats  going on we are just pulling into the parking garage,,whats happening now?,?!?!
I wondered what awful news the Dr .  had this time. This ******* was the one who came in to say , Even if we did everything exactly right  we were probly looking at 3 weeks tops  before  it would be  over. " I jumped up off the side of the bed where I was standing guard  and asking what medicine they were giving him ,what was it for, what  could go wrong if he took it what would happ en  if  he didnt.  What their name was, Nurse or doctor?  I had been writing everything down.

.I   startled him too, "ALRIGHT THATS IT,!" I marched to the door hung on to the handle with  one hand and pointed to the hallway with with the other "GET THE **** OUT!!" Who the **** do you think you are? Who the hell does he think he is I said to the nurse as she quickly  darted out into the hallway to the nurses station where all the nurse stood  with shocked looks ontheir faces. "DO YOU HAVE AN OUNCE OF COMPASSION  IN THAT  PEWNIE,LITTLE MAN,SMUG, SO FULL OF YOUR SELF THAT YOU CANT TREAT PEOPLE WITH A LITTLE DIGNITY....NO RESPECT FOR ANYBODY BUT THE GUY WHOSE CALLING THE SHOTS RIGHT.!? DAVE,?
.! Thats it we got to get you the hell out of here these people are ******* sociopaths!!"
  He looked as though they drew straws  to have to come again and he had lost.As long as they didnt stop  you from this tiny bit of hope, you were having ....I could  faintly hear you telling your best friend your great news.... I could hear the confusion in his voice as he questioned you. "What?!?! WAIT..NOW...WHAT DID THEY SAY ...EXACTLY...,!!"  You did say verbatim exactly what they said..To your boss too.
The Doctor had a picture of a human heart  and he is telling me that they  have had success with a mediicine called milrinone ....to help the heart  pump  strong enough  but that it can only be used for a short time and in order to give it a try they  would have to insert a catheter directly into  the small amount of his heart that isnt just dead tissue.."DEAD TISSUE.?? Its just dead??If its dead does that mean its going to rot in there?? Like gain green or something .  Youd going to take him and cut his heart out arent you?!?! Dead Tissue! " I said, Thats *******!! I have never in my life heard EVER of any of this ****!!!"
  " This is up to Dave, You talk...I will translate ...If he doesnr want to do it then we are going to get REAL second opinion!! "
   You were so happy younwerent going to have to have a heart transplanr that you agreed  to the milrinone. . You started feeling pretty good right away.. .They said you could b2 on thw mil3inone 6mo. Then they would wean you off and that would be it.

\    | | |                          _ _ _
            +                              _ _ _
               | | |                   _ _ _
                       x             _ _ _
               | | |             _ _ _        
            +              _ _ _
    | | |                      _ _ _
x                              _ _ _             /      
                              
      the optics entombed in

why can't i stop conceptualising this ******
japenese puzzle?
   it's like some people bend over
backwards to write as many haikus
as possible,
        when most of the asians that wrote
haikus,
           drank for half a year
                 and then wrote as little
as possible...
       thw west cannot own haiku!
         it shouldn't even practice writing one!

solve a ******* sūdoku!

   and this really is a cure, for emoticons...
the alternative being:

/    _ _ _                          | | |
             x                      _ _ _        
               | | |                       +
          _ _ _                     | | |  
                      x             _ _ _        
            | | |                      +
       _ _ _                      | | |
                  +                     x           \

from green to red thw leaves have turned
as sunlit summer turns to winter grey'
Cold ashes of garden waste we burned
drift on the breeze. nothing learned
just sadness for another year gone away.

For me no counting of the hours
no totting up of days and weeks,
life is short, just ask the flowers.
Over us all dark death towers,
he will always find what he seeks.

No beginning without an ending;
as runners finish others start.
The race goes on, still sending
hope to all of us. There is no amending
this, just carry on and play your part.

The time fell off the wall

The time broke
Its dripping
Its dripping through thw floorboards
It holds the smell of corpses
The floorboards scream and bend
The lifeless screach of the doomed
******* burn them already
****
Im so ******* sorry
Im so sorry

The time still falls of the wall