"suckerpunch" poems
It took one who was blind
To teach me how to see.
Someone who was cold
Thawed this heart in me.
I learned from the cruel
How to truly understand.
And when you walked away,
I learned to be my own man.
I learned from the lies
To recognize what is real.
From a stony hand,
I learn how to feel.
I have a new love
That reaches parts of me.
You never could touch.
You showed me who not to be.
You rode off into a bright and blue day.
I went into the dark to be saved,
You came back to lie to my face,
But I...
I Could not see past those trails that you blazed
And I'd...
I'd already found the love that I crave
You loose...
Now your head's in a haze.
Thing about it is -
The heart that you break is yours,
And the love that you take is from you.
The lies you believe are your own.
The suckerpunch you don't see coming
Is the very one you've thrown.
You know you were *****
You know you were wrong.
I am not judging.
But I wouldn't be in your shoes for long.
Why don't you go and blaze another trail.
You say it's different this time.
But just like all the other times,
What's not different is everything is different.
I am different.
The only thing that is the same is you.
Apr 23, 2016
Apr 23, 2016 at 1:59 AM UTC
Cigarette smoke and **** colored beer
Family is a suckerpunch epiphany
For people who’ve spent so much time
Saying they no longer had one
I swore forever
Mine was missing parts
This heart carved shells
Let’s swap odd shapes
Re-sew them and **** up our beats forever
Together
If the world is ending and you find me here
Kicking up the earth
Dirt scatter to the wind
Brown blood spatter
That’s just me trying to escape faster
Join me or leave me
But I got this beef with gravity
Like a severed head tetherball
This face senseless
You make me senseless
Numb to all the bad parts
In the same way salt makes everything sweeter
You make everything sweeter
Your salty skin
Sweet mouth
Sweet speak
Sweet laughter
Make me feel a little less stupid
About giving in to the movement
This mouth
This body
Like a knee-buckle kick to the gas pedal
And I peel out by accident
And you can still love me
Like family
I’ve slept in so many beds
And on so many floors
All so much more comfortable than my own
I swear I have bed bugs
Drinking my blood as I sleep
Getting drunk most nights
Them and me
Wake up itchy and fatigued
Like an allergy
But you
You smile like a hammock
Held up by strings hanging from your eye squint
To your dimples
Without speaking
“you can rest here tonight”
This is for the beds
For the people who say ouch when I hug them
For the family I thought I never had
For the appreciation that
Every moment of sadness
Means I’ve known so much joy
To feel that way
I’ve known so much joy
Thank you
Mar 1, 2013
Mar 1, 2013 at 4:06 PM UTC
Your voice is like a silent whisper that I no longer wish to hear
On any given day it breaks me down
like the soft hiss and hush of waves
working to break the levee
I feel your voice speaking from inside my cheeks
It feels like forever
and I still can't seem to shake you from my skin
how I say things the way you used to say them
how I sometimes think about things that make me uncomfortable
and say your name out loud to halt my thought's direction
I ******* miss you
but I don't want to miss you anymore
Moving on is the dilemma for ghosts
Who have nothing left to hold on to
I can't hold your ghost
There are people here who
are still perfectly capable of holding me
And when I see you again
Maybe you won't be able to hold me
Because I imagine
heaven
is energy
I know this in the way my skin still heats up
at the thought of your touch
you move my molecules a fire-friction-engine-rumble
You are energy
and this is how I know you are happy
because there isn't anything else you can be
This is how I know heaven is real
God is a ball of light that feels like a fiery smile when you touch it
But I still hear your voice at night
and maybe your memories creep up
like epiphany shivers
like
oh
This is just me missing you
I am still human
and I am allowed to do silly human things
Because I am alive
and so much self preservation
I haven't let you go yet
Which is why I still hear you
reminding me to do stupid things like take care of myself
and to not hang my head so wrecking-ball heavy
unless I am finally breaking down my own walls
to sucker punch my gut
in order to remind my lungs
that even without you here
the air still tastes so sweet
Reset my suckerpunch
to gasp
to fight for inhale
to understand
that my own breath
still tastes so sweet
I hear you
you silent whisperer
I hear you
Apr 15, 2012
Apr 15, 2012 at 4:32 PM UTC
After a day of unfamiliar faces
His eyes are glad to finally settle on mine
As we walk though the mall
He keeps his head down
Tells me he is afraid to look at people
How they might see what he is thinking
Spelled out on his face
He always looks cold
always looks tired
walks like he is trying to remember that life is as simple as
Placing one foot in front of the other
With his head down
I know he counts his steps
He can only count to 100
Between this morning and now
I don’t know how many times he has counted to that
When I ask him why he doesn’t count higher
He tells me
I’ll just lose track
And I just wanna tell him
You got a heart bigger than the best of us
So pure you got water coursin’ through your veins
So golden you shine like the sun
And it’s a suckerpunch to my gut
To see you bow down to gravity
‘Cause if there was anyone
And I mean anyone
Who could stare you in the face
And not see the light
Then fuck’em kid
There are days where I pray
The world could be as simple as you
Days where I pray that you might fight gravity
As simply as
Placing one foot in front of the other
To slowly rise on steps of air
Counting them as you do
And know it’s okay if you don’t come back
‘cause
There’s nothing wrong with going home
Apr 15, 2011
Apr 15, 2011 at 10:56 AM UTC
I had never seen the truth turning into a graveyard
until it passed through my tombstone teeth to
sit in your ear like a ghost
These aren't sweet nothings
my sweet nothing
And you deserve much more than the devil
living inside of my cheeks
This is the way truth sets us free
The same way a suckerpunch leaves us winded
I imagine that is how our souls leave us
But you try and explain that to a nurse
who is busy checking your mouth to be sure
you've taken all your medication
You know how you're supposed to live like you are going to die tomorrow
I say
How 'bout six months from tomorrow?
I really have tried everythin
including ******* down the backwash of a sunday baptism
It only tasted like fear
The kind of fear I don't need right now
We bought a casket
Plotted a plot
I got a tattoo of an expiration date on the bottom of my foot
No day or month
just this year
And you've been brave
saying
You are saving your tears for when I am not here anymore
And I honestly never saw how the truth could turn into a graveyard
Til we both started talking to each other
Like ghosts whispering all the things we never got to say in life
No matter how you look at it
I tell her
The truth always feels like it's arrived too late
Feb 1, 2012
Feb 1, 2012 at 5:19 PM UTC
Do it for me. Don't make me jealous. Only because you're beautiful. Cover your arms. Cover your legs. Don't talk back!
That wasn't love, but, I thought it was.
You made me do it.........If you didn't make me so mad.......Push. Push..........SHOVE.
That wasn't love, but, I thought it was.
Smack.......Slap........PUNCH. Cry. Tears..........Hugs.
That wasn't love, but, I thought it was.
Slap.......SMASH........Kick.......JAB......SUCKERPUNCH. Choke. Scream.........Holler. Kick.
That wasn't love, but, I thought it was.
SLAP. I won't do it again. SLAP. I won't do it again. SLAP. I won't do it again................
That wasn't love, but, I thought it was.
Locked in a room for 2 hours........no food..........no water. Learn your lesson so I can stop being this way. It's your fault I have to do this.
That wasn't love, but, I thought it was.
Call, leave a message at the beep. I'm sorry. Call, hang up. Call, hang up. Call, leave a message at the beep. You better not leave me.
That wasn't love, but, I thought it was.
SLAP. I won't do it again. SLAP. I won't do it again. STOMP........KICK........PUNCH. That's what you deserve.
That wasn't love, but, I thought it was.
Call, leave a message at the beep. I'm sorry. Call, hang up. Call, hang up. Call, leave a message at the beep. Please don't leave me.
That wasn't love, but, I thought it was.
SLAP. I won't do it again. PUNCH. KICK. CHOKE. STRANGLE.........It's your fault I have to do this.
That wasn't love, but, I thought it was.
Call, leave a message at the beep. I'm sorry. Call, hang up. Call, pick up. You can't leave me. Reply, WATCH ME. Plead, its because I love you so much. Reply, GO TO HELL!
This isn't love. It never will be. It never was.
Sep 13, 2012
Sep 13, 2012 at 10:57 PM UTC
The best part about waking up with a hangover
Is that I feel like so much ****
That six hours later
After the headache has passed
And solids stay where I want them to
And you suckerpunch me in the throat again
I find comfort knowing
At least
six hours earlier
I felt worse
Nov 19, 2011
Nov 19, 2011 at 12:30 PM UTC
Tonight I will weep
For before i fall asleep
Thoughts of you endure
My mind was tampered
with, on a false promise of
a love that was sure
Your abrasive words
were a suckerpunch beneath
your veil of allure
You leave us a coarse
effigy of men, who shall
dismantle the pure.
Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 9:57 PM UTC
Nevermind,
well, I know you... don't.
You were always like that,
but I ignored that fact.
It's not your fault,
that now you are a cold-hearted *****
... I thought you were to change.
Wait... It is your fault.
It's completely your ******* fault.
I gave you all you ever wanted
and you couldn't even remember
that I have a, now dead, dog.
Yes.. You didn't like dogs.
You didn't like lots of things.
.. You liked lots of things.
But never, even once, have I seen through your eyes.
You never brought me inside.
You kept me shut, while
you could even see
inbetween my spine.
Maybe, that was your problem,
not knowing how to deal with.. problems.
You get scared, you run away,
you turn the other cheek,
and you, actually, believe that is how
you wipe a stain away.
But no, that way, you'll always have
a pile of **** behind your back.
When I met you...
You said you were changed
.. from some previous version of you.
A new you now, a new life,
asking me for a way out,
from the **** that you then left behind.
I helped you, I taught you, I formed you.
I gave you my sincerest hug.
I was proud, happy, strong for what I did...
And, somehow..
You ******* grew on me.
I fell for you.
I fell for the person I made inside you.
I know that at a time,
she really existed in you,
there, by my side.
Alone, away...
We had the world for ourselves.
I really thought, I found
my shiny bright companion star.
Time passed away fast,
and the dream reached dawn.
I knew it wouldn't always last,
but I never thought much of that.
I just enjoyed every second you ever gave me,
until you broke the clock and left me to rot.
Remember?
We swam in springs,
with stars we played,
but when I looked around, to catch to a breath..
All I saw was desert.
My face dried out,
then I just wanted
another gulp of our spring,
while you were punching my teeth out.
Maybe, that is what you can't get and long for..
.. Always, another, one more pleasurable breath.
You really ******* woke me up.
I realised that a person can't be shaped or.. remade.
You know.. I just hoped..
That there can be change...
Another chunk of crap, behind your back... I think I now am.
Really? Why? Why ******* why?
At least, you could've said.. Goodbye!
You cut all strings, hoping you'll fly,
and that I'll just drop down and die!
But that is not how it works..
One day you won't be able to walk
from the weight of all your cut-out
left-over threads of strings.
You'll entangle and wrangle
and knot yourself up,
until you can no longer move.
I hope that then,
you'll remember
the summer girl you once were.
She, who's hidden inside you.
She, who's been my habit.
She, who a part of me will always love.
She, who is a piece of me.
She, engraved in my memory.
Never again... but I wouldn't know.
Sep 26, 2015
Sep 26, 2015 at 4:17 AM UTC
Your lips say I love you
But your hips have bite marks
That don’t belong to me
How can I ever believe you?
There is nothing quite like
The tingly anxious butterflies
Of new love, like breathing
In the first fresh flowers of spring
And there is nothing quite like
The suckerpunch to the gut
Of love’s betrayal, leaving you
gasping for air sharp as razorblades
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013 at 11:15 AM UTC
If you took an x-ray & looked at my insides, they'd be a Picasso.
All tangled shapes, color spills, and meaning hidden
Or maybe a ******* --
endless splatters of endless paint that are all the same, except portrayed differently.
An entire infinity in those dots, a life of
wishing for someone you could never be
or remember,
And remember, lost in place.
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 11:53 AM UTC