How deep the depths to which you have touched me

Places that laid waiting in shadows, drowning in stagnant air

You have pulled up the blinds and opened a window

Lighting each corner, each crack that had only been accessible to the darkest fog

You have quietly healed what I had long forgotten was broken

A moment of reprised sentience retrospectively retrograding on its own
Deeds done ago
Revering its alter right
  

lead as stones and alive
Substract whats unchanneled revivified its denials

Polarize whats neccessary and in ;undeniably  benéfact
If that was riddling you away
And but dont only be able to dictate
Learn to appreciate each imprint

My heart beats to the rhythm,
It dances like a butterfly,
In tge glimmering glory of His love
Which flows like a waterfall from above

Oceans way from home,
My destination lost in the hazy horizons,
Engulfed in loneliness I still find peace,
My mountain of hope and belief still stands

The beat of His love makes my heart dance
A song of hope even in blues
I feel revivified like drenched leaves
After a midsummer rain

And I forget all the pain
I soar and dive like ocean tides
In the golden sunrise
When He commands dark storms to be still

Nothing can bring me down
To His name only I bow
He's the stringer of this song called life
The pianist who makes my heart to dance

I once was something
that I am not now
too much shock
to the system
caused a retreating
away from the world
into myself

A solitudinarian
while my systems
shut down
preparing to reboot

a cocooning occurred
followed by
metamorphosis
then transformation
reordering of
damaged cells
damaged goods
a regeneration
following
the assasination
of my juvenescense
by his malefic mind

6 years
living in the jar
hermetically sealed
spinning silken threads
around myself
tears hardening the shell
impenetrable
invisible
making myself small quiet
wanting to be unwanted
looking to be unnoticed
retired from a life not yet begun
necessity for survival
dictated the state of play
all the while thinking feeling
questioning
then throwing away
all my mislaid assumptions
my mantra

* I want to be happy
a happy life
I will not let him have it
my life is mine
my joy is mine
my freedom is mine
he has taken enough
I am taking happiness back *

an unremarkable day
the day I woke up
revivified
able again to draw a full breath
without flinching
without waiting
for his reaction
I ran in the park barefoot
I swam in the ocean
laying on the beach after
toes in the warm sand
the sun drying me
free
a child again renewed

J.C. honey-tiger 16/08/2019. 4.44am.