The night always falls a sweet embrace to the citys bitter reallty.
And I it's ever pressent *** a nothing in a sea of so called movers and shakers.
I saw them all rise and in that growth I also saw that which made them special turn to the worst of the mundane .

A  sort of flawed perfection.
Now just a run of the mill joke.
Anyone can be good show me depth and most will just ask how much does that truely cost?

Take my traggic ending make it something in a empty lie to suit your dreams .
I still preffer my nightmares reprise.

Am I not the artist but have I killed the clown to give all till all is what none did ever require?
Please find comfort in a happiness I myself could never grasp.
And ignore bitter tears drown in many rivers yet to embrace the flood
and a pressent future.
I preffer a bloodstained past broken hearts existance.

What is left still ***** with even my own thoughts.

You should have stopped while your ahead my boy **** how I hate advice.
Maybe im a reject of a long gone feeling we no longer share.
Maybe I simply stopped giving a **** altogather.

Heres the punchline Ive lost it friends lets drink to a sunset and a passing tide.

Whats left is a chaos inspired novel and a unending addiction i can no longer control.
Maybe a it's hell but what a night we shared time's a ***** who's dance cards often full.
Laughter covers the uneasy feelings I view in the readers mind.

Watch with fire for certain its burn we know when we have played.

But yet another night closes and im just another lost whisper of a forgotten conversation.
dont darken my grave if you've never stood at my door.

We all saw the truth just some choose to ignore its end.
And others never gave a dam to begin with.

One day we'll all understand the street lights fade and the silence
does erase us all.
Sunrise I care less to greet your return as i truley linger to embrace your fade.

Its more than a feeling when its come down to the finish and even a worse one when you realize its time to start yet again.
Like some sick version of twisted game show your always in reach and anytime your desperate the ****
will gather to praise your failure.
The bottle filled glory days a dinosaur who's back id long fell of of trying to stay in the groove simply has left me with more scratches than  I care to speak of so **** the logic in this I preffer a good ******* covred lie instead.

Hell wasnt a fire laced horror theme it was a emptyness beyond anything a normal man could ever imagine.
Good thing I would never fall under that title.

We were somewhere in Maryland the bar a afterthought now and are drunken thoughts had left us silent to
ramble in are own personal hells we tried to convince others didnt exist.
As for the big payoff well .
If half empty shows and being more broke than when you left was a sucess then we were true diamonds at this point.
You give it all out there only to question do you have a home to return to.
And Martin was a wounded solider broken from a quick text once read.
Ive had enough I wont be here when you return.

And as he was broken we did what any self absorbed ******* who couldnt face what could be us would do.
Drown in vices and cracked jokes over are friends misfortune and tried to make sure we didnt get to much of his misery to
**** are buzz.

For me it was the usal some quick drinks some soon to be forgotten conversations with women I'd seldom
recall gotta keep chasing that good time cant let the boys see your reallity or you'd fall and
never do you wanna show weakness in a pack of wolves .

Robert was always the same a crash and burn ****** who started fights and had to be half loaded to even greet the day.
Once I saw the geinus behind what had now became the running joke of the group.
The tide had long since returned to the ocean  and left him trapped apon the shore.

We all knew he was a dead end street but he paid his way and as long as we could scam a few bills from him
we used him without regard it was the worst kind of cutthroat you could imagine.
All in the name of a good laugh.

Being said that only left me and Tony to keep this **** togather we rode long hours and made little money but just like sharks if were still moving with some drugs in are system were still doing good.


My head against the window rains steady rythm kept me company  in this silence I could allow the ******* guard down.
Count the laughs and ignore the bombs  **** it was a bloodthirsty scene in south Boston lastnight.
The crowd intent on breaking you and getting down watred down drinks overprized and as shallow as there
owners for the moment.

Why the **** was I here stuck in a prison with four wheels rolling steady and praying not to get pulled
by the cops and wondering if anyone of us could lie well enough to be trusted to drive **** knows
the best driver had just been hitting the pipe a hour ago.
And I really didnt think my flask in side pocket would be a charming insentive to some officer who hated dealing with a
car filled with drunks and junkies.

So what you boys do?
I could hear this converstaion playing out.
Were comedians  just heading home officer been on the road awhile.
Oh yeah you boys any good?
Well as you can tell from this fantastic 1999 minvan crap mobile were driving  were  a great sucess.
You being a ******* boy?

Some people never get the joke.

The miles passed and soon were bound for are corners.
Off from the battle left only to crawl in
broken down hovels and lick are wounds with whatever drugs we may have left laying around.
And as for me I'd just turn off the lights and sleep.

In the dark nobody touches my often semi burnt out thoughts.

And as the days bled one into the next I'd  tell myself ***** it Im done!.
But bad habbits and that insane thought of what if is a real ******* at times.
And really what else besides the page could ever bring me the misery and false happiness I so desired.

Soon like some worn out race horse id be at the starting gate again I could only run till I drop.
Why do it you may ask?
Cause its just who I am the crowds a drug like any other and that one night of connection
is more of a rush than any needle to arm has ever been.

The finish line never means **** when you know inside.
All that leaves you with is another time to begin.

You woke up lit a ****
puff ganga smoke up and thank god you can breath
My lungs fill with the air but I preffer THC
I'm ******* irritated that im 20 years old still breaking the mold
social conformity!
Can you just please be normal please!
Apparently I smoke ***,
I'm supposed to be a doctor, ***
Primary Care Physician
What about me!!!??!!
Private school 123 or 666 pick up sticks cause I'm not
I dont care if you have a bed for me mom I'd rather sleep on a cot
Well Luke duke what do you do with your thyme
I like the herb that I smoke and I like all different kinds
just last week I smoked strains of blue cheese
Redwood i felt her giving head good, well
I know my grammar swell so I'm going to HELL.

P.S. I wrote this for you mom.
P.P.S ADD is a gift I can speak as fast as I write and it rhymes A.D.D. its a fight.  I can write...
P.P.P.S I'm a Schizophrenic and so am I.

I preffer fighting in a war and saving people's lifes
than watching my beloved ones destroying eachother.
I want to run away and never come back.
I can't handle those yellings and
i can't stop the tears streaming down my face.
I feel empty. Dead.
I am young, i should laugh and have fun with
my friends but instead i am too scared to smile
because i fear that something bad will happen after it.
I grew up surrounded by hate, by anger.
People often ask me why am i so closed into myslef
why am i so scared of everything.
I hope they never feel what i feel.
See what i see.
I see my parents broken. I see them trying so hard
that they don't see what is happening around them.
They don't see my 7 y/o sister crying herslef to sleep,
they don't hear her scream late at night.
They don't see me how i fear of going home.
How confused and stressed i am.
They only care for themselves and nothing else.
I want to run
run
run
and never come back.
But i won't forget it.
I won't forgive them.
Forgive and forget doesn't work for me.

No Matter The Floor You Pass Out On

I awake as any other madman slash poet.
Apon the floor  naked  pizza box for pillow a members only jacket for a blanket.
yes the libary sure has changed over the years.

less and less people were reading buggets were cut meaning
libraryies were under staffed and rarely did anyone dare venture into
the stacks  and thank good for that. Cause being i preffered free sleeping
it was probaly for the best.

but no matter the the floor you pass out on most all fine
american men wake up with are god given birth rite.
That which after a trip to the restroom like
that early morning madness that was christmas  pressent openning
was over way to fast and was kinda disapointing.

Floors werent the best beds in the world in fact they
****** altogather but drinking and common sense dont even
belong in the same room togather.

Portsmouth Va  was a strange world indeed a place where upscale colided with skidrow.
Me I preffer the company of a outdoor sleeper to that of a
spoiled spoon fed yuppie ****.
the art school cranked out angst ridden buble people by the second.

They walked the street soaking in the pain of life.
there heads stuck so far up there ***** I always felt compeled to trip them as they walked by.
acting as though they were outsiders  yerning to be mainstream
they'd **** there mothers on a mtv reality show as dad cried in the background.

Just for a taste of stardom.
True talent who needs that?
but no matter the floor you pass out on one
thing was clear.

In a world were you could have a bus load
of kids and get paid for it.
fame wasnt such a rare thing anymore.

The floor I passed out on was cold and cruel but surrounded
voices from the past.
the floor these hollow  reallity show bottom  feeders
passed out on.  Had to besoft as there heads.

Otherwise there brains would splatter across the floor.
And some TV exect would have a brainstorm  to have a show
were washed up celebrities would have a contest.

To see who could bore us the most with there sob story  
Yes friends id rather have a pizza box for a pillow
than a reality show  pillbox for a brain.

and the truth effectsus all form no matter
which floor so you do choose to pass out on.

First page is but the flesh for my thought.
In verse of the forbidden .
Creeps from the depths the nightmare not real so the lamb is taught.

Hello welcome to the tour agony is my name and I'll be your guide.
Certanly you may beg.
She screams but hope is a distant dream so in this void may you confide.

Lets take it to the point were pain is truth  and logic has no chance.
Flesh from bone strip the nerve apon severed legs the
twisted thoughts dance.

**** for fun .
Take time in your craft.
Now your lifeless lips embrace mine may I ask was it good for
you ***?

Reaper of the weak.
Basment  collection  cherish the nightmare and destroy the meak.
I need no introduction for im one of many.
Hail the killing floor.
Burn it down if one is left thats one to many.

The ankle bracelet isnt as sweet as your new toe tag.
Love the scent as wind does give a  hint of decay.
Tricks desserve treats lets see what I have in the bag.


I preffer black in white to the glossy production.
I linger in chaos a nightmare from which none may awake.
A monster truely needs no introduction.

Tangled up in the sheets man that was fun.
Yeah id stick around my darlin.
But the train's a waiting and so I gotta run.

Tommy  and Phil  will be at the dinner waiting with ready ear.
***** the coffee darlin.
I preffer a smoke and a beer.

The waitress sat staring at me as I sat lost
without a clue.
She said thought you had to leave town.
memories get hazy but she reminded me with a swift
kick oh **** darlin was that you?

Sometmes it's not so easy to recall.
Precious memories shared.
In a nightclubs bathroom stall.

Hey it was a perfect moment amougnst many.
Sure I recall your name.
It's Rebecca  Sandy  okay I wouldnt have guessed Kenny.

Sometimes it"s awkward  hitting  on a chick only to
have her reply but I thought we were threw.
Maybe i should lay off the *****.
Cause im really getting tired of asking
was that you?

Im a caged animal befor my set.
Get to close and you'll understand why a starved animal is the most vicious
animal there is.
It's not a release its a war a battle to the death between me and all.
I care little for thoose who've stood befor this is a a fight between me and them and
I have no desire to be nice.

Safe never belongs in any form of art.
The eye's the window i see all to clear and as always i only focuss on one
for theres such a seduction in the moment there laughter a drug and  as she laughs above the noise that sense of wrong at such crude logic she bite's her lip and togather we connect.

Moments we share will only be now as like a fire's glimmer what burns bright will all to fade.
And my job is to make you never forget.
It's the romance of the stage the nights illusion that is my true poisen and i drink with no regard's of tommorow.

If you pick apart why you''ll never grasp the now.
I thirst for life and never give thought to death.
It's only the people who worry who sink to the bottom.
Drown in thought and you'll embrace reget as a empty lover .
I preffer much warmer company myself.

From the light I wish only to embrace the dark.
I see the eye's and always view the one pair.
thoose that linger in laughter that have forgotten all but me.
Like some vampire in a black in white film I draw them moth to my ever jaded flame.

I force the laughter in that awkward moment fill the silence and make the night something more than it truley is.


***** the velet of passion give the friction of summers hot backseat
Take the moment ***** the wait!
For to hold back is to fail and failure sure doesnt feel
good as a after partys release for two.

Of the chatter and drink orders  I take that which i desire.
Why live in  reget when you can bask in release.
Have you ever truely tasted the freedom ive known?

Be herd now for  tommorows a promise is often changed to well intended  lie.
Command the crowd or the ocean will swallow you up as a lamb.
Anger ,Rage ,Happiness , I dont care as long as i get a reaction.

For in this game i never play it safe.

In the eye's of other's I read the reactions like a higways map it always tells me where the edge will be.
And I yern not only to take you there I'll push you over it going right with you laughter mocks the crash
as we understand  its all just for the hell of it care to come with me?

Strippers, Drugs,******,Hookers,You want apple pie and pickett fences
you've taken a a fatal wrong turn.
I'll burn the devils *** and embrace the flame only to smile  and vanish just as the night befor.

I would rather get a slap across the face than a gentle pat on the back.
It's not just a act it's just who i am.

And when it's over you'll either love me or hate me.
But one thing is for ******* sure you will never forget me.
For behind all the *******  when others  remove the mask you'll learn.

It's just who I am.

Anyone can joke  but few can make you truely
question what just happend?

A storm from afar is perfect chaos but nothing can compare to
riding it out in the choas.

Safe is not a word I'll ever be.

I probably don't remember everything
about my first day in college
or the fisrt time that we met
sometimes i even forget
the date my birth is celebrated
.
but for that day i rember everything
from your low heel black strap shoes
sounding the beat everytime your
feet touched the ground
as you walked towards me
and there was the glowing white
emanating from your blouse
the matching was impecable
and although
they call me color blind
but even then i saw it
.
then there was your voice
soft and articulate in speech
yet still firm and stern
accompanied by a contageous laughter
.
at first i thought you
were about to cry
that was when i noticed
that natural glitter in your eyes
you had just plaited your hair
it was sprayed and shiny
holding to a pony behind
.
thats when u spoke to me
then i kept saying "ati"
not because you were unclear
but the sound of your voice
was so soothing and comforting
somewhere between opera singing
and a choral verse recital
.
you were still a young girl
but thats when your wings grew
somewhere the july cold
and you flew away from us
we still miss you every august
.
i wish you were here to see
how she has grown since
she nolonger plays with small
dolls like she used to
but i know you are looking
from up above you see us
alot has happend between
and some day i will tell you all about it.
She talks about you sometimes
but i am still unable to explain it all
i dont know if she will understand
i even dont know what to tell her
but if you were here
you would know exactly what to tell her
like you she is perfect
.
sometimes i cry alone
and preffer to be left alone
not because i like being alone
but because its easier
to immagine by myself
what you would do or say in such situations.
fly safe my friend.
and keep passing by
dont be gone too long.

If truly it's known,
By all hearts like tone,
Our love shall be immortan
we shall be free of slave dark groan,
And pious to the hell of love gew-gew.
Drive me whereever you want to settle,
And heal the incurable disease you've done,
To sell the chain-of-rock to our bones,
And leave the pain in our flesh,and around the cruel fireof hell.
In ****,utter a deep rumbling in a distress;
We preffer to be left alone in peace,
But?love had come to soar our peace.
Where's our destiny?sourrounded in evil aure,
we seldon see throug the mist;
The scene on a tall summer that so pale,
Across the blue sky,the white cloud float shoals,
Or?disapper and quitly sail,the wast time;
Swell and fell into dream's haze,
Where eyes look long like a lover's gaze
What time in mists shall we tast?
Calmto the battlement of enternity of love;
Unknown!
Till the sun be set;they are all gone.
Maight the timid heart ,quiet dispassionate moon?
When the agony of nightmare caurse begin,
Or,a devil that rides human soul?
Shall wondered around our souls?
AH!It's too late to goven the kid of love's soul,
For the day evil-light shouted daze,
By hopes and fear,cried our souls,
Like the shadow's flames which the sun throw,
Even,more like the shadows of lives than life's blow.
In move,yet with something beauty very rare,
Traced,do they live on slop,
Pearhaps,be of noblest hopes,
The trace of intention that maight have been fair,
For purpose,each man's action must be hidden from scorn,
Hope like nature,oaktree man's saddest,
We loom in the world without watching time,
A wast so far,dark night is near,
To flash us back to the hell,where no wind breathes or ripple stires
We wish we were given a chance to restore the unwanted past!