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POSSIBLE Feb 2016
Sit down at the table of compassion understanding is the new fashion if only we could fashion a way to undo these knots a way to be a dreadnaaught...or not

Give me  a way to move forward
A beautiful notion to move toward...

Human beings are creatures of desire
And they bend and twist as the endless require

So doth desire smile
As a creature of the moment
Its maw spans a mile
There is no lack of atonement

She walks the endless pathways of the body
And sings sweet symphony
Yet the truth of desire
Is dat she be de phony
Never apologize
Never explain
The chorus of a moment so linked with pain
These paradox we seen painfuly
And published plainly
Throughh Forbearance and friendship
This reality we tame , see?
Karijinbba Mar 2020
What a beautiful way to say it
thank you I love you too the most in this whole wide world
for the many times
you found me everywhere for the many times you reappeared, even on here HP I love you
adore you, and pain to not have grabbed you back then when it mattered to you still
you are a genius to plan your love life chronologicaly a success to not lose no matter the pain or loss life forced my life and love life a chronolical disaster systematically a downhill slippery ***** as if unseen forces did all to prevent changing Earth as you dreamevf8r us to do had you known me better you would have made it easier to get to you earlier before life men and women made more scars
if you suffered she'll shock I suffer PTSD none if this suffering though was a problem to win big your way long before mother's day time changes things you could have thrown a big party for you and me but realize
that I was already bitterly wounded
by kidnapping himan predator men and a Charles Manson advocate hunting me in USA
I couldn't follow our old script since you mentioned being married I felt deeply wounded
I felt the hell of jealousy by bad people since age six and later
by demonic Medeas torturing my new born babies I still hear their screams today my ptsd
the only failure real culprit was
your rush to show me your next woman begging you for it all
I can still feel the knife
of those words digging me numb and mute you beast, I was present inches from you owner of your love and treasures why
in hell or in heaven not just grab me and hold me there forever!
weep with me love me to happily ever after!
If i was worth to you everything it was all only yours too already just for the taking!
I am glad my suffering has changed you can I benefit?
see, feel such change! or your wives do? naturally
maby others in your world  benefit.
you were easy to love a Good attractive handsome in manner and in form intelligent gifted rich
gentleman I didn't pass you on you ran from me
and I had chicks 8n the best to tend to asap
everyone can see all this in you
I was blind folded far away
scripted fighting malice greed of others hunting me in a world filled with unreality no helpers my allies were invisible
how was that ever fair and then you jumped to put the icing on my devastating puzzle
you got me all wrong and blessed me to test my heart
giving me a live in woumb treasure I lost
then you placed a scriped fairytale tale in my hands as you layed hurting in someone else's nursing hands but you didn't forget me neither did I
and please look at me truth is all that's left for my great loss.
yet I take all this world of reality gone wrong and unreality stink to heaven in a treasure chest heart of gold and soul I am deeply sorry to not win your favour my wounds were fresh and shame was deep mute lame

If you see an Artist in me,
I accept your compliment it's beautiful I am just you too artist in many ways identical two hearts of gold beating as one
however strange.
You like myself are a true romantic a poet a true elite above the greatest minds ever read about or met.
Glad my art ink has changed you for the better and others benefit
your words apeace a rock off my chest I wrote for me for you firstly and I welcomed all efforts to aproach me from every angle
I am eternally greatful thank you

I wanted you to know and understand my inner core
unconditionally expecting whatever is given is given to me
not 2hat I want to for all comments you wrote I thank you for your time your popping up to read to follow to
learn what's in my RHO- core

I meant so much to you.
You still a bittersweet blessing 
understanding you too late
my misfortune loving you my
survival paradigm blessing

I was your sand hour glass
time sensitive disaster!
I go lamenting all day long hearing from you
is healing that you enjoy life and breathe helps me breathe too
you remain the love of my life.
I rather share you then lose you
think of me I need you.

Your chronological ink lost me but later found me apeacing me; understanding people
and myself was my winning other key.
I'm reciprocating to your
Scarlett letter A's and so much more.
So be it, let it be its better late than never.
Without you present here my air has been thick, food bitter prayers painfuly unenswered

in my world no person is owned
by anyone dear one.
Someone else you predicted
got to our TwinOaks home.
its all into the Lord's hands now
where else to go in your absence
my dear JPC-RK?
"This is the true loving of the woman who loves you most in the whole wide world."
 
 "I  rather shared you then lose you" I Think of you.

In an eye blink tears fall again
"I am wishfully thinking of you"
for you fall in love also
at
home.
~~~~~~
By:Karijinbba -03/03/2020.
Copy Rights.
You were my Unicorn but in your absence The Lord...

The heaven and the earth shall pass away, but my words shall in no way pass away."I love you.
~~~~
Thank you for loving me and waiting for me so long how no to love you.
MaddHatterQueen Feb 2018
3:22a.m.,
on my second pack of iggy's,
smoked by the minutes counting
you're not here by my side
to hold me and watch stars
fall out of place like
the places where our mind dwells
and my breath in what was fresh
for the kiss of your lips
and put a hold on to the smoke
in my head of you
our first night apart
things are something of some
painfuly hard to mend

3:25a.m.,
no, I AM pacing
my neck weary and weak
too much for this head of mine
to hold up all that clutters
streaming down my chest
like liquid fire from explosion
tensions play poker with my heart
and you're still not here
to help me live up to my feet
you go one way and I
I stay behind taking in the stabs

3:30am,
amzing how I'm whipping throught this
pieces I chicken write-...vandalise

my pen and I drop another line, yet on these fresh sheets
.. no, tonight we had no choice
since the choice was already made
no, It's not a break up
just one of those nights I let you
spend away from me and
I am just being so dam n selfish
just wanting you eaveryday
how do you see me now
taking a bat destroying what is
in my way thinking I care
.... ****!
like I do
go ahead act like it don't **** me
it's just anxioty,
attacks come around friendly
without handshakes that insults me
and my feet crash on glass
and yet, I feel nothing

... but you

3:35am,
mornings **** like manson
like the devil himself
it consums me in this home
where I make animals
look like nothing wild
and the neighbors can hear me
crazy they would claim me
and you're not here to hear me

3:37am.,
another smoke to pop in my mouth
and this house is smelling like
a drug house I had created tonight
when you come back home today
whatever time that may be
I'll be screaming and crying
like a crazy *** *****
in an un-womanly like tantrum
Like as if I hadn't hurt losing
another friend the other day
and on top of that you leave me
in times like these
this is the first you've done
so wrong to me
yet to me in my mind I may be
losing it completely
expressions say so much
on your face where I feel like
slapping you hard like I
want you to really hurt!

3:41a.m.,
even poetry stares me down this
early morning my, good one
a wife I will be, intentionaly insecure
I want this to go away
far away where I can cast myself
away with the extreme pain
that I'm causing myself
cause you ain't here
and that's all that's playing in my head
that's all that matters to me now
that you ain't in this fducking house
where I THINK you MAY belong

3:44am,
another smoke and many more to come
and this home is begining to close in on me
and this is just another
a.m. challenge for my depprssion
anti-deppressants don't do one ****
and I swim in my head where thoughts
**** me while you're gone.

gone feels like forever
up here is like the twilight zone
and you are the episode
where conflics travle fast.

God! I ******* love you!
this cage is now my dungeon
and now it's 3:39a.m

I'm pretending this is okay
...

(ghasping myself to sleep)
©MaddHatterQueen
Not Worth The Silly Pain:
Many say we learn from our mistakes

But mine are more than I can take.



They spoke a joke that threatened my fragile heart.

When threatened I retaliate.

When I retaliate, they call me a racist..

How great is this feeling called hate...



I can't seem to make people enjoy my presence

Because I am never present, always absent lost in my mind.

How can I find true joy when I lack the confidence?

The confidence to show true defiance and a face so radiant.



All the questions I have are answered painfuly so I never ask.

All the pain within me is held prisoner by my strong heart,..

The smile on my face is just a good mask I wear hiding the devil inside.

The miles I run are cycles with no end, circles have no end.

Imagine reliving this pain, over and over again.

Afraid to tell any for none ever will understand.
Pain is master

— The End —