"numbest" poems
some people feel anxious a lot
some people feel overly tired all the time
some people have anger issues
some people enjoy life
some people are happy, or sad, or mad
but i am numb
when i wake up, i am numb
i stay in my room because i feel numb
i cry to try and feel something, anything
but i suddenly stop because feelings are exhausting
i hate going to school because my friends give me ****
i already get enough at home, i dont need it here too
its like everyone has their place in this school and im floating around groups
its hard to be happy when you work so hard to make everyone else happy
its hard to laugh when youre always making sure everyone else is laughing
they dont realize how easy it is to fake a smile
to tell a lie for the sake of their feelings
to act like you are just fine
they dont realize that when i look the happiest is when i feel the numbest
Dec 2, 2020
Dec 2, 2020 at 10:19 AM UTC
Feeling wanted could be evidence of friends
Until their loyalty is finished taunting
Knowing family is what introduces hope
Hope is what tempts someone to trust
the mystery of friendships will always stand in grey
The taste of rejection is putrid and sour
The aftertaste is bitter and lasting
The death of a friendship pierces even the numbest hearts
Lukewarm friends will never last
Never stay true or care to look from your vantage point
Fed up friendships destroy all innocence
The scars still have a pulse when I'm around them
Chaos has no place in this lyric, but it is here
Fighting for freedom like the carrot on the stick
If no one's caring enough let's get this over with
Maybe all the smoke that follows them will be a warning
Maybe these raw wounds will destroy and repeated mistakes
Friendships are Loyal, Trustworthy, and ready to compromise
NOT disposable
Mar 10, 2011
Mar 10, 2011 at 10:14 AM UTC
Love will always be but a complicated high,
But a lovely euphorical and addicting ******
Oh so lovely and blissful you want at all cost,
Never seeing the real problem,
But when it finally hits you like knife to the gut,
You bleed out your essence of life and ability.
I just want to be carried by this deadly lethal high that it gives,
But at what cost only my life,
I can give that up and it will simply be gone,
Like an addicts money and pride,
I will disappear socially as if my friends left me,
But in painful truth i left them all behind.
I want to be wanted, i want to be the addiction,
Not just the addict but its not so simple ,
As it makes you feel good its just using you,
Like the ***** uses money slowly ******* you away,
It keeps you alive by draining your life you make it wanted,
You make it exist, as it makes you slip away,
To a cold dark world that seems like home away from worry,
The real worry is the only thing left in life,
The cold serpent slithering in your veins,
Suffocating your heart in the numbest pain possible.
Sep 23, 2012
Sep 23, 2012 at 1:06 PM UTC
I wander, fog embracing me at my waist.
Around me, the world whispers so quietly.
What a shame that secrets are being kept from me.
Further and further, on this trance of a trail.
A thirst full of lonely fills my belly,
I gulp the air, and choke.
With the numbest of numbs,
I dance to the ballad of hopelessness that seeps through the skull attached to my neck.
For the first time, I do not fear the piercing silence.
The legs below me, are mine no more.
Stones of curiosity taunt my toes with each step.
Anxious, an unknown destination lies ahead.
Through the black, I see a mouth with teeth made of railroad tracks.
Subtle echoes crawl, inviting me right in.
Soothing me, as I am swallowed by the darkness within.
Becoming blind, pupils mirroring a charming sort of misery.
Ears twitching, each sound brings a sting of someone else’s memories.
I hear slaughter, painting pictures of ****** scenes.
I bow and take my seat, surrounded by old needles and pins.
In awe, I watch as my skin melts away as I put myself to rest.
Basking in this seclusion, I hum a sickly tune.
My bones are dead petals, wilting and left to decay.
The thrumming muscle in my chest jolts,
lightning is shot from each one of my pores.
And in a fashion more graceful than death,
I disappear, leaving behind only ashes.
Whispering quietly as my remains float away.
Oh what a shame it is, that I am a secret that will forever be kept from the world.
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 4:05 PM UTC
It was the door, it was my mind.
My heart is bounding, my voice became blinding.
My jaw is the numbest
No one, not even the rain could've heard me.
Could I have even spoken to myself?
I tried, I tried, I swear I tried.
My voice was not loud enough.
I became aimless.
All I hear is the silence, it is so loud and eager.
My ears tingle with static, my tongue hides in fear.
The shutting of my eyes hurt, it's almost unbelievable how awake I was.
I can not close my eyes
May 17, 2017
May 17, 2017 at 2:31 AM UTC
I walked slowly,
taking each step
and tracing my fingers along his bloodied body
along the abomination that still lived atop my table.
Each finger felt the contours of a stringy muscle,
fat and bone left exposed to the open air,
the filthy dust clotted air.
“Death is close, I am so close to you that soon all will be darkness.”
I bent over his slack face.
The single light swung from side to side
revealing each side of his face in turns.
I bent so close
and smelt the metallic blood,
and to his lips a pressed my own.
The firm translucent skin opened slightly
and with it consciousness burst forth
through a scream that could double over even the numbest of men.
“Shhhhh, hush now baby.”
I smoothed back his hair
entangling a lock between my encrusted fingers.
I licked the blood from his face,
drinking in the clotted blood from his mouth,
******* the scream before it came,
rubbing his grainy tongue against my own
until they were raw.
I sat on his chest
holding his face,
cupping his chin
squeezing till his cheeks came together.
Oh and that fear!
The utter hatred he held for me
then made me want to kiss him again,
whisper meaningless utterances in his ear.
On impulse I stuck my nail into his left eye.
It came out with a ‘pop.’
I laughed again much like before.
The scream this time was loud,
more of outrageous surprise than of pain,
which came afterwards
in a low moan and pathetic cry.
I could imagine the dull pain
coupled with the sharp pain of his raw legs.
He was indeed a monster,
my own child.
Like me he found some want
of his torture and torturer.
In the deep recesses of his mind
he wanted for me to take him.
This would make the pain so complete.
Ripping out his eye
I trailed it down his chest,
circling it around each ******
before I threw it across the room
watching it bounce
then roll
to a stop against the crumbling brick wall.
I took him then in my mouth
tasting the blood and sweat
until again he became hard,
and with a grudging moan from his lips he came
and again I cupped it in my hands and made him drink.
Ingloriously he choked and died.
Jun 25, 2013
Jun 25, 2013 at 2:35 PM UTC
9:57 PM,
she's the numbest she's ever been in her life.
her body aches with a pain that she can no longer feel,
and her mind refuses to rest, to mend, or to heal.
she lies in her bed as she tries to sleep her life away and she hears the voices,
she prays that they will not stay.
she hears them settle, as they begin to loudly talk.
and then she wonders,
"how the **** will i make it to three o'clock?"
Oct 14, 2013
Oct 14, 2013 at 3:20 PM UTC