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Esther Krenzin Aug 2018
A little girl danced to a song
her world small and nothing wrong
And in that instant she knew that she
a dancer she would always be
Her dream since the tender age of five
she knew that she must work and strive
Stumbling, falling, she fell to the ground
hurting herself severely she found
Years later it was all just a dream
everything went back to normal it seemed
And then one day she hurt it again
but still she pushed on and didn't let it win.

For long months she endured and toiled
the pain refusing to be foiled
They all tried to make it heal
but it wouldn't, and her fate it sealed
Keeping it hidden from everyone close
even the ones she loved the most
For she was scared and very angry
didn't want to lose her dream you see
When it was all too much to shoulder
she caved in and the world turned colder.

They told her she would have to quite
her heart a candle no longer lit
She stopped breathing as the world froze
blinking numbly she arose
Sitting backstage as her music played
mutely staring as the future was made
And then the music ended
and all the dancers ascended
As she sat thinking, "is this real?"
"Why God? I just want it to heal."
Tears frozen in her eyes
as she desperately wished it was lies
Picking up a flower from the floor
all that was left of what was before.

Holding herself alone at night
the crying girl a broken sight
Losing her dream was the hardest thing
her voice she found no longer sang
What would she do now that its gone?
a uncaring façade she would have to don
All that was left was memories
she wished the unending pain would just cease
The poor little girl learned to soon
that the world was harsh and full of gloom
The hardened girl still remembers
a life she had, now ashes and embers.

She'll never forget but she will let go
telling her precious dream farewell
To this day it still hurts
but she's stronger now when it wont desert
I know this girl very deeply
because you see
its really
me.
-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-
The bravest thing I've ever done, is continuing to live when I wanted to die.
The hardest thing I've ever done, is telling my precious dream goodbye.
you know the days
the ones where you regret
every stupid thing you’ve ever done

look back over your shoulder
wistful at wisps wilted and slipped
through numbly fumbling fingers

while you were busy tightening
your heavy cloak of unlovability
the love you longed got stuck inside
the mirror of nonsensical symmetry

we are like children
inexperienced and naive
never taught how to handle
snow globes brimming with God

disagreeing over methodologies
to get it across the finish line
self-righteously wronging
from craves crumbled
to do it right

because it’s Us in there
enshrined in white orbitals
frosted characters waiting
for whirls to still
so they can be seen
on collapsed knees

opening
to the same page
at the same line

unshattered

today
is one of those
gracie Oct 2018
two shimmering goldfish on display
in a run-down pub, swimming lazily
in milky water, suspending translucent fins
like angel wings. one stares numbly at the glass
with beady eyes, entranced by his own reflection;
the other darts between the rocks, twitching
itching
to escape his murky prison.
not really a poem? oops
Sutherland Dec 2018
I walk blindly through beauty.
I numbly touch its fur.
I exhale its fragrance.

To drift is to be sure.

My vision is cut short,
that of a pin,
sculpted,
chiseled,
cut down.
Brown is my vision,
defined by the words within.

between the two,
I am.

Stability in the binding,
the spine, I bend.

The cover, my beginning.
The back, my end.
I wrote this poem from my perspective of a person in a religion. How they limit their interaction with the world around them because their bible doesn't allow them to see it.
N Oct 2017
Tonight is one of those nights.
You know, the ones where you fall apart.
You close the door and numbly lock it.

You stare at your hands for the longest time before finally breaking.
You gasp for breath, silently sobbing about everything all at once.
About everything that is wrong with you and the world.

Then you deal with it the only way you know how.
You take deep, exhausted, shuddered breaths as you quietly cry yourself to sleep.

The next morning you wake up huddled in the corner of your bed, with a sore body and pounding headache.
So you get out of bed just like any other morning.
lX0st Nov 2018
I numbly leap then look
Bounding rooftops stories high
Blood’s quickening pace
A blazing fight behind my eyes,
Constant chatter beneath my skin
Begging me to survive;
I counter, disdain
And dive to swift demise
WA West Oct 2018
you of pharmaceutical lens,
Concrete handed
sharp edges rounded,
colours slandered,
you womb-safe,
blanketed,
bleeting sounds
non-threatening,
Shadow individual
Deodorant mojo,
the man-made park,
well governed hair
lips are moist and plumped up,
a conveyor belt human,
bowel movements and idle chatter are corporate losses,
Neglect that which is outside this Kingdom,
the office must remain hermetically sealed to ensure maximum shareholder profits
breathing in sand and time,
this here void of monotony,
numbly dispirited
poor food and no discipline (that's you),
face is sallow
sagging,
you are nothing,
not really,
your bonus will be paid at the end of this month.
Karina Estella Oct 2018
Falling:

Down.

Down, farther. Faster.

Oxygen is robbed out of my lungs as I continue to fall deeper into this twisted hole.

Free-falling into my doomed fate, there is no end to this wicked hole called Love.

You look into my eyes and I can only fall deeper into your glistening irises — enchanted by your eyes I am incapable of looking away. I melt into your eyes, into your arms. My body becomes jelly, my heart palpitates.

I love you, and there’s nothing I can do.


Dreaming:

Whether or not I’m conscious, my time is spent thinking about you.

I fantasize a reality in which you frequent my house and the resting place of my hands are intertwined in yours.

Where my lips naturally settle upon yours, where I can freely embrace you in my arms.

Where your hands have mended my shattered heart.

I love you, and in my dreams you love me too.


Waking:

Every waking moment, I spend loving — yearning, for you. I yearn for your touch, your love, your attention.

When your enchanting orbs meet mine, I can feel love radiating from my body. I give you everything you desire — in return I only desired you.

No matter the hour, you are always on my mind. Your blinding smile, your echoing laugh, your everlasting kindness. I mirror these factors in hopes that you’d notice me, but you don’t.

I love you, why can't you love me too?


Bandaging:

The consistent crimson wounds on my wrists are nothing compared to the knots in my heart.

My heart was torn out of my chest, it was ripped apart by normally gentle hands — yet they felt rough and coarse as they violently pried apart what was left of my already shriveled heart.

Numbly, I pieced my heart back together and placed it back into my chest, but the pieces were in all the wrong places.

My heart is mangled, but I still love you.

How?


Acknowledging:

I can’t eat, I spend my nights weeping over you.

Loving you has brought me nothing but agony, sheer anguish.

The circles underneath my eyes grow darker, my stomach becoming unhealthily skinnier. My body mirrored the pain I felt inside.

I grew weaker by each passing day, isolated from society the only thing that kept me in reality was the small hope that you could change your mind.

I was wrong.

I’m broken, and I still love you.

Can’t you see what you’re doing to me?


Healing:

Faking the smile I bore daily became easier. Laughing was instinct, not an internal command.

The dark world I had accustomed myself to was penetrated by light. The light of hope, of another day.

I still didn’t sleep, but I was better. Sleeping wasn’t necessary in a time where my heart was being mended. Your beautiful features still graced my thoughts every now and then, but I didn’t recoil or weep.

I laughed, a chuckle that was more heart-wrenching than the most broken cry in the world.

I love you, and that’s okay.


Fading:

The light was fading away.

You had lodged yourself back into my heart — a mending heart that had no room for you.

You captivated me with your charm, again.

I fell into your trap, again.

You played me, again.

I had now way out of this loop.

I love you, and there’s nothing I can do.

You will remain in my heart, ‘til death do us part.
to the one i love
kB 2 Mar 11
I hear you crying, darling
Pillow stained with tepid tears
I’ve spoken many ‘sorries’,
wordy weights for fragile ears

Youth abducted by this mess
Rehearsed faces to survive
Reddened bracelets to impress
demons comfortable inside

Promises prove hard to hold;
heavy burdens, arms grow weak
Taken by a mind so bold:
Vocal chords go mute to speak

Falling down while growing up,
never takes the easy way
Grave tightrope she stands atop,
tends to fall one way each day

Balancing while punching ghosts,
falls the wrong way off this rope
Rest is best, stay numbly dosed
Darling, sleep and dream of hope

~kb
hazael-fae Nov 2018
I'm starved of fear and hopelessness, I'm out of touch with my truest happiness. Numbly feeding my soul sorrow. It is easy to be controlled when you have no clue its happening. My thoughts are telling me to follow my heart, and let it drive me to peace. Take care of your true happiness and cherish it, because it is the only thing you seek in your time of breath. Let it take you to the air you wish to inhale, a atmosphere you can soak yourself in. Reach for the guide within yourself, let it pull you to a place where your soul dances freely. Listen to the tall mans words of wisdom, let the syllables bring peace, guidance, power, focus, love; for the world and yourself, blessings, ambition. Let these words, spoken by the tall man bring you to a place when the breeze brings you safety, a place when you can breath and let the warm earths love overwhelm your body. A place where your heart beats to the earths music, a place where your skin dances with the rain.
Elyse Hyland Oct 2018
‘You have nothing left to lose.’

His voice was calm, mellow. A velvet song whispering against her ear. ‘You act as if they’ll miss you- ‘
‘They will miss me.’ Her voice held such conviction it made him grin.
‘You hope they will,’ he corrected her, ‘and you hope they won’t forget you- ‘
‘But they will.’ She finished quietly. ‘That’s okay, that’s what gravestones are for. To remember the dead when no one else will.’ She paused for a moment, glancing at him. ‘It’s a lonely feeling to be forgotten.’
He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and then leant back on his hands, their legs hung messily over the edge of the building and she kicked hers absentmindedly.
‘One day,’ he began in a long distant voice, ‘all that will be left will be gravestones. Billions of cold rock slabs, billions of names, and not a soul to read them out. You’ll all be forgotten then.’
‘That’s okay too,’ she smiled at him, ‘because then we won’t need to remember the dead, we’ll all be together in the great beyond.’
His laugh rang out across the city and the sound played a melody with her cells as this ancient creature sat beside her, his face alive with laughter.
‘Such a curious creature you are,’ he breathed, looking at her again. ‘Do you have hope that your great beyond will be pleasant? Do you believe everyone’s will be?’
‘I have no idea,’ she shrugged, ‘but I have hope.’
‘Hope in a pleasant life after death but not hope for a pleasant life while you’re alive?’
She studied her fingernails as if they held the secrets to the universe and he laid a hand gently over hers, ice trailing over her skin at his touch.
‘It’s alright, we both know how this will end.’ He soothed. ‘You’re here because you’re destined to be, and I’m here to collect your soul.’
‘So you’re saying this wasn’t my choice?’ she asked, her voice tiny against the thrum of the world around her.
‘No,’ he agreed, ‘it was fate, and fate is something you can’t run away from.’
She looked at him then for the longest time, her eyes burning into his memory and her blood humming under her skin.
‘Have you ever tried?’
He blinked in confusion as she stood up, teetering on the edge of oblivion. Without thinking he grabbed her hand.
‘What do you mean?’ His brow furrowed in confusion. ‘Have you?’
She smiled at him then, really smiled and he thought he’d never seen something so bright since the day the sun was born.
‘The beauty of life and death,’ she laughed softly, ‘is that in the end, in all the possible ends, no matter how ****** a choice, it will be my choice.’
He stared at her. Was she stupid? This was her fate, this had always been her fate, since the moment her life had been woven into the world’s story he had known what would happen to her. What choice did she have? What choice did he have?
‘In this world,’ she continued, gently laying a hand over the top of his,’ I may not have had the chance of being killed in an accident, or of old age, but I’ve always had the choice of killing myself. My one last vestige of control, my parachute, my safety belt, all that jazz, you know?’
Slipping her hand from his grip she gestured to the skies around them. ‘Whether today, tomorrow, or fifty years from now, no one, not even you could make this choice for me.’
Silence sat heavily around them as they looked at each other, her at peace and him feeling something tug in his chest for the first time since The Beginning.
‘You’ll be dead before you hit the ground.’ He said numbly. It was the only thing left he could think to say. ‘You’ll run out of oxygen.’
‘That’s okay,’ she said one last time, ‘then I’ll die flying.’
She might have been an angel then, spreading her wings to the highest heavens. The cold night air burning her lungs as she breathed in deeply.
‘Besides, you said it yourself.’ The grin on her face was blinding as she tipped forwards, arms falling softly through the air.

‘I have nothing left to lose.’
Not poetry at all but I didn't know anywhere else I could post it and idk I just wanted to share this one.
<3

— The End —