Japanese temple trees no longer line the way home.
I left them behind.
But my mind still strolls that avenue,
and I still see
the light catching on the bare branches
and the sparse leaves of Autumn in The Grove.
The Woodhoopoes are still nesting
in the temple trees next to the gate
I don't enter anymore.
Their iridescent plumes
still shimmer green and blue
as their vermilion scimitar bills chatter
in the to-and-fro, to-and-fro
sway of their familial ritual.
What cacophony when one has won
itself a fat gecko—the chicks won't go hungry.
I left the haphazardly arranged feathers
in the wooden frame of the French doors
I no longer unlock and enter.
The two cereal bowls
left on the table
where we did everything
have been reduced
to one.
And the table simply is.
Now I work among veteran soldiers—
Old Pigeons with crooked feet
caused by all the lines
they've crossed, all the twines
they've tangled with, but Pigeons,
they survive without their feet.
And instead of temple trees,
buildings line the way home—
concrete and steel constructions
among long ribbons of asphalt and . . .
From a distance,
up on the third storey,
it looks like a jungle out there,
but no, on the ground,
up close, it is just human.
I still keep the Owl's feather away from the day-birds',
but I no longer collect more feathers.
No, instead, I tuck symbolic quills behind my ear.
Sagittarius serpentarius
The image of the Secretarybird towers
over the rest of the symbols
on the Official Documents I peruse.
Contracts.
I walk away, tucking the quill.
In the land of the blind, there is a one-eyed rule:
close the other eye.
I feel the rhythm of keys beneath icy fingers,
eyes tearing from the glare of the monitor,
retracted quills rising—
unseen antennae erected on the back of my neck—
a human lie detector.
Type, type, type:
repudiation,
subrogation,
violation . . .
Hit the letters with the power of the word.
Noisy little twitter-bird to my left,
on top of her office chair,
she’s raucous like a hysterical Mynah:
"****-****-****-****...**** everything!!!"
Absconding the scene,
I stamp, stamp, stamp
AR numbers, CAS numbers, verified.
The African masks behind my workstation:
ugly metaphors for who I really am.
Sagittarius serpentarius
A Marching Eagle,
the Devil's Horse,
the Secretarybird;
sitting in a concrete cage,
my youngest would've died of starvation,
so I let her fly a long way from home,
but nonetheless home
with her Lily-Pad-Walker father.
Jesus-bird,
With legs like a crane but scalier,
a Marching Eagle doesn't walk on water.
It stands close to the grassland fire,
waiting for its prey.
Then stomping.
Then crushing bones.
Then swallowing whole.
Balance is unnecessary.
Just bend and kick,
backwards.
Saqr-et-tair: hawk-bird, hunter-bird.
He said his heart was a dreaming Red Hawk
whose eyes he wouldn't let me see,
and Bukowski's heart was a Blue Bird of pain.
I said I didn't know
what sort of bird lived in mine,
but it dreamt the same dream:
giant wings
breaking out of its ribbed cage . . .
long runway . . .
long runway. . .
then slow, deep *****
of----------of-----------of------------of----------------of
bad weather and . . .
I fear the day it tires of dreaming.
Offices. Soldiers. Pigeons.
I slip gunpowder pillulets under my tongue:
Homeopathic medicine for this virus.
There is a Barn Owl in my mirror,
steamed up. I dream
a ****** of Crows
alights on my brow,
but I am too feverish to catch them.
Too weak.
I dream a ****** of Crows
rising from the loquat tree
where my eldest was born,
across the road . . .
I watch them
from the third storey of a collection of cages,
and I know
this building
is a cold-hearted-thirty-three-eyed-soldier
with a dog tag for a tongue,
and a contract
bound to the crooked feet of the Pigeons I didn't feed.
25/07/2015
