Can you hear me, can you feel me?
You can feel me
purple spiderwebs mark my *******
proving that you can
so if you can feel me why can't you hear me
i think i said no
i said no
but you're invading me still
unwelcomed visitor.
I closed the door and you don't have a key.
but you don't require one, do you
you have a lockpick. a lockpick on each finger.
the skeleton key on your tongue.

Block - unblock - block
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

It seems like you are playing musical chairs,
I am free of you, but when the music stops.
When the world grows silent,
You sit in my mind again.

Unblock and stare at the words proclaiming "online"
Curiosity crawling up my spine.
Wondering if you ever opened our chat and stared as well.

Block - unblock - block
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

Every time I see you
I feel we can start afresh, anew.
You smile, I smile.
We try to remain in denial.

We go on as just friends
We finally make amends
We pretend nothing happened.
Then something happens

My heart flutters,
But nothing can come of it,
So it shatters
I locked it again, but you are a skilled lockpick.

unblock - block - unblock
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

I wait for your message to arrive,
You're no longer blocked, you're alive.
But it never comes,
I become numb.

My dreams are black,
Because if I sleep too deep,
I might miss your message back.
The memories creep.

I can see them sneaking over the fence,
Maneuvering through every defense,
Until it stands like a shadow learing over my bed.
A demon stuck in my head.

Block - unblock - block
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

I am almost over you.
I have almost made it through
This tormented affair
This maze of dispair.

The memory of you no longer walks with me down the street,
I don't see you in the places we used to meet.
Your face doesn't burn in the back of my head,
But now you have crawled into my dreams instead.

My mind is working through the last bit,
But I am so exhausted.
So tired of fighting guilt and shame,
So tired of breaking all over again
Whenever I hear your name...

Block - delete number
Heart broken, heart shattered, but heart finally locked.
Mind screaming, but screaming a different song.
All of the dreams are finally gone.

It is over.

I may be forgotten by history.
Win or lose both sides will despise me.
In battle, I will fight valiantly,
but in the end, I will die alone.
My weapons rust as time continues on.
Of my fallen friends, I'll sing a song.
In this endless battle, I will stay strong,
knowing I have no chance of winning.
Flattery has long since then been replaced.
To lie is no longer a disgrace.
Is there any honor in such a place
where the thieves and the murders thrive?
Becoming the best is that which I sought
But time in jail was all my efforts bought.
Escaping once held captive my thoughts,
But still in jail is where I do rot.
My lockpick is gone, my crossbow is too.
But one day again, I will debut.
Though I'm old, frail, and a bit out of tune,
The life of my work will never undo.
The young lads do earnestly aspire.
The old do after time retire.
Crime will decrease, or at times run higher.
No matter what, you can't douse our fire.
The law hates. Thieves destroy competition.
Old methods are gone despite petition.
Will they put an end to our life's mission?
Not as long as good and evil endure.

I am a rolling snowball of craving, a litany of wants, like a mindless jellyfish dragging its tentacles across the depths of the ocean hoping to feel anything, anything but the dull ache of regret.

Don’t look back. Nostalgia that's nothing more than a dull blade we drag across our wrist vainly hoping that we can use our blood to paint a pastel, a beautiful cosmic rendering of the past we so desperately want back.

The thing is the past isn’t real at least the version in your skull.
The second you surrender control of the moment the cruel machinations of your head immediately start twisting and contorting that memory to be an edge. It's another lockpick for the cage of falsified reality just out of reach

We didn’t envision it would turn out this way but when have expectations ever kept a promise.

Sure life is *****, but brown that’s just a color used to paint masterpieces and isn’t dirt just a reminder of where you came from, that you aren’t god, and someday you will be the dust clinging to another kid's trousers.

So take that dirt in your heart and plant a seed in it while you still can, and maybe you can let it grow this time