"halide" poems
My memory is just a darkroom, where every picture ever taken by eye sight:
Waits.
Develops.
They accumulate in Black and white,
Positive and negative.
My mind the developer, my thoughts the water, removing the excess silver halide.
What remains is a picture, a memory taken from this very life
They hang from thin lines fastened by close pins so delicate and so fine
To dry,
To develop
And remain to live in the safelight within my mind.
But you see that light has left,
Now every picture is
Too over exposed,
Too vague
And too undefined.
I’ve had too much drink, so much smoke.
A stop bath of the wrong kind.
Too much green and blue light.
You see, my darkroom is too bright
Now the pictures that hung from the close pin lines of life
dilute,
shrivel
And fade.
Now,
What remains is a picture-less memory, and no clear recollection or reflection.
No darkroom for every photograph ever taken by eyesight,
No pictures of black and white.
There is just one final question…
Who am I?
Jun 10, 2014
Jun 10, 2014 at 3:12 PM UTC
Three days ago
it was Canada Day
Wait for the winter under Maple Leaf shade.
I'm alight with night time's
anaesthetized truths
soothe sweaty, shaking aches
until this
Independence Day
frees up my lungs.
Three days ago,
turned 29 years old.
Etched our initials in a park bench, rolled
my smudging thoughts into
photographed truth.
Our silver, halide smiles
on paper
live in drawers,
tie me to 25.
Our hearts aglow,
we rose
through dreams and aching,
chafing hopes.
True. Free. Young.
But the bombs burst that bubble
and red eyes glared
through anger and an aching, sorry chest.
Aug 15, 2014
Aug 15, 2014 at 11:49 AM UTC
This morning, I dream of a birch tree bench
upon which she strews jars of sea glass,
filled with blues and greens or something inbetween.
Sunlight shifting like prismarine snakeskin,
shed where sky meets eye, dyes the white wood underneath
in bisecting lines that ripple and breathe.
Thumbing at sea glass, I see her smile, circa redress,
in a pile of polaroids passed over the wood by
hands neither she nor I possess.
And then I see me, my head leaned into hers,
two gray trees grown too free. Hairs tangle and end
centimeters from the edge of the bed.
We look
together.
That’s when I cry.
Beneath two trees planted too close,
below silver halide wiping blue and green from her eyes,
in black ink that's yet to dry, she leaves a note
that I can’t read
because
this is a dream
and we were the lie.
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 9:56 AM UTC
I fear that inside
I’m made of silver halide
I can’t risk exposure,
so my pupils go wide
as they thirst for light
in this room sealed tight
while lusting and longing,
for my dark to turn white
and print on my brain
black and white frames
of a moment in time,
that will always remain.
But a moment of light
means I must let some in…
I'm sure my development
can never begin.
Feb 21, 2021
Feb 21, 2021 at 2:54 PM UTC
Semi-automatic eyelids flicker,
Backdrops glare through thick black lines.
Fast forward tracks on silver halide,
Detail removed, spoiled by light.
A scene defected as clarity hides.
Rib-cage rattle engine backfire;
A marble rotates on the edge of a knife.
Three-hundred bodies drift by aligned:
All voices unify into a singular baritone
Outfits blur like the traffic at night.
Cloud cover grows, the audience subsides
Calmness prevails, relaxing your mind
Shoulders sink to back to a perch
A low ISO repairs the flooding of light
Each silhouette regains its detail
As passers by regain their autonomy
A low ISO repairs the flooding of light
Each silhouette regaining its detail
Sweat stops pouring from over your brow
Conjoined voices become conversations
Clouds cover cracks as the day drifts by
A marble taps the brickwork below
As vertical beams shoot from the sky
Get back to your feet, pray to the night.
Nov 4, 2017
Nov 4, 2017 at 7:30 AM UTC