"foggier" poems
Pain is such a genuine feeling.
what I'm feeling right now, isn't exactly pain but merely the absence of. I understand that my flesh has nerves all over and that is part of whats keeping me going . Life seems a lot foggier and I am walking into the dark. Feeling what I can understand, searching for the braille letters and hoping I find a coherent sentence
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018 at 7:10 AM UTC
It's sweater weather, hoodie weather, crush-the-fallen-leaves weather
It's colder weather, bleaker weather, grayer, foggier, quieter weather
It's darker weather, creepier weather, don't-go-out-alone-at-night weather
It's long walks weather, graveyard weather, almost-Halloween weather
It's fading weather, dying weather, eerie, empty, silent weather.
And yet....I've never felt more alive
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 5:15 PM UTC
I'm no longer consumed
with doubt
Or envy.
It took light years
When it comes to them,
I just felt ugly inside.
They were happy,
And I was not.
I'm past that now
It's the hole in my heart.
Shovelled out,
and mangled,
by your negligent hands
Time healed me
Those very hands,
Connected to that pair of arms
once held me so close,
I could feel my heart smile.
Let's skip the "but now's"
Attached to the same body,
A voice uttered my name,
Every so often,
Just to make sure
Once upon a time, that is.
It bewilders me
YOU bewilder me.
Things are clearer about you
But foggier in how I should see you
If I can handle you,
I can handle all
You misplaced me but I found myself
May 17, 2017
May 17, 2017 at 6:30 PM UTC
You don't know what your doing
I don't know what your doing
I love you, but your changing
We no longer see eye to eye
Your thoughts are foggy and unclear
Please bring back the one I know
I'm not willing to accept a new you
Alcohol isn't the way to go
It's turning you into a forbidden monster
If I could I would let you go
But I can't....because your my family
Oct 29, 2012
Oct 29, 2012 at 11:15 PM UTC
milky white eyes pupils searching
every time I step over you
long frayed coat
big ears like the puppy
and the black one that greets me
after passing through back roads
I spent summers with you
when you used to sprint
before your hind legs started to drag
before your mouth and tongue
started to sag
you sleep all day, taking your pills
‘crotchety old lady’
who doesn’t die
you’re a memory now,
who eats six pills before dinner
you’re here so we can all look into your eyes
like crystal ***** foggier with each evening
I hope you’re dreaming when you pass
that you don’t take for granted the last few months
old shepherd,
so hard to let go
Apr 20, 2012
Apr 20, 2012 at 11:56 PM UTC
This Beautiful Boy
And my heart hops in my chest as he breezes by me
The air seems warmer and my mind foggier,
Like the hot, humid day waiting outside the doors of the air-conditioned gym
He stands only a mere few feet away and his gaze circles the room
I can’t help but laugh at his bored expression as he sits in a ray of light coming from the window
He’s an angel with a halo around his head and white wings anchored into the space between his shoulder blades
My stare makes the ends of his light brown hair catch fire, cut short from when it brushed across his shoulders only a few months ago, the tip of a brush splattering paint on the back of his neck
His shoulders that spread out wide against the confinements of his shirt, scorching heat tears open small holes and burn his skin red
His legs, tufts of blonde that are almost invisible, catch my eye in the light, disintegrating into the air, and the soft skin of his knees blister and pop
As they move toward his chest, the colors of people around him twist and blur into nothing
Until it's just him and the light blue shorts sliding up his pale thighs
His whole body is on fire
His pretty thighs melting, his pretty thighs burning,
his pretty thighs his pretty thighs his pretty thighs
Bright images flash behind my eyes and my mouth goes dry
Please don't glance back at me,
I won't be able to look away
Mar 21, 2021
Mar 21, 2021 at 11:16 PM UTC
He slept in that bed
long before I came into
the picture
navy blue sheets
golden brown bedposts.
I could always run my fingers
along the wall that connected us at night
his steady breath a steady
reminder
that all was well,
all was normal.
He came home from school
my parents around the dining table
shifting weight, waiting.
A letter with letters, words
of navy blue and shining gold.
Congratulations we are pr…
Smiling, embracing
mind racing
We still had precious months…
Until liftoff.
Gazing at the bed
tired eyes
foggy with 3 am,
now foggier with tears.
His steady breath
a comforting metronome
lulled me to rest on the cool
hardwood floor
The room was warm,
full, occupied
with steady breaths,
cardboard boxes and love.
The car flew away before I could put my shoes on.
through the dust
“I couldn’t see the permanence.”
I waved
I waved until my arm burned hot
enough to evaporate the falling water from my eyes.
“If I closed my eyes
I wouldn’t see him go.”
Gazing at the bed.
tired eyes.
foggy with 4 pm
now foggier with emptiness.
He left a dent in the mattress
a comforting mold
I tried to fit
Tried to fill the space left behind.
The room was gusty,
empty, vacant,
with distant breaths,
dust and new negative space.
He slept in that bed
long before I came into
the picture
navy blue sheets
golden brown bedposts.
I could always run my fingers
along the wall that connected us at night.
The wall has swelled, hallowed.
I still trace it
listening,
waiting
for the void to narrow.
Apr 18, 2014
Apr 18, 2014 at 9:10 AM UTC
Rain rain go away
i'm tired of all the grey
its cold its dark
and i feel so far away
im in a place where the sun doesnt shine
And the breeze doesnt blow
and the warmth doesnt flow
I try to escape but I feel its too late
what else is there to say
everyday I get farther
and my mind foggier
and my heart emptier
and i think to myself that it could all change
maybe eventually one day
thats all
I said all I have to say
Nov 9, 2016
Nov 9, 2016 at 12:46 AM UTC
I have been depressed for four years
I have lost more than four friends
and loved fewer than four people
Four times I have tried to do
The wrong thing
(or the right thing, who really ******* knows)
And four times I have been prescribed
A life foggier than most others
But still more normal than the one
That comes to life when left to my own devices
It has been a long four years
But they have gone by so fast despite
The too long days in a town
That only ever taught me how to hate myself
I look behind
Ahead
And I don’t recognize anything other than
The child I once was
Who had no idea a person could be so alone
It has been tiring
And every time I go to sleep
I feel like I’m not yet done
Paying for the past
For the sleepless nights and
Zombie days
It has been four days
It has been four whole days without
Thinking that this isn’t all
it’s supposed to be
It has been four days of arriving
On shores I used to know so ******* well
It has been four days, four nights,
More than four full meals
That have looked something like the
Mirage in the lake
I was ready to die in
Everyday
I must pray
I must beg
I must pretend that this is my normal
That this is my average day
That four days of this
Is what i’ve always known
It takes more than four days
More than four years
Four lifetimes
To relearn how to swim
Without a death wish tied to my ankle
It takes more than four worlds
To feel the pleasure
And not wish for the pain
It take more than four days
To know what
Living means for me
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 2:23 PM UTC
When I was seven
I wanted to be eight
And when I was nine
I wanted to be eleven
Then,
after that
I just wanted to be eighteen.
All this time wishing I was older
But now I am older,
I just want to be younger
And view the world from a more foggier lens,
once more.
Not know to question
oh all these decisions!
In desperation,
I search to no clear avail.
I just want more time,
but I feel time is growing faster than I
Oct 31, 2015
Oct 31, 2015 at 6:25 PM UTC
Hearts pounding in my chest
Feel like somebody is squeezing it with all their strengths
Breathes get deeper
Brains getting foggier
Hearts getting closer
To break
I need you now
I am beginning to shake
Please don't leave me
Hold me tight
More than you ever did before
Not my dreams
But in real life
I do not know how much my heart can take
All it does these days is ache
Being close to you will make my heart stop
But being far makes it drop
Sep 9, 2018
Sep 9, 2018 at 1:54 PM UTC
it's hard not to get a little bit nostalgic
when the clouds pour a little harder outside
and the sky looks foggier than usual
when the possibilities seem like they could fall through your fingertips
because in this moment
the world is on pause
while the roads overflow,
the wind howls hard enough to turn umbrellas inside out
and all you can do
is wrap yourself beneath the covers
dim the lights
and think of the many things you should be doing
that were put on hold
to make room for other, more sentimental activities
like daydreaming-
letting your mind wander around fields
with sunny skies and morning breezes
and think of arms
that should be wrapped around you
while you curl up into a cocoon
hoping they never let you go
i think this break
is what we all needed
this warp in time
this still frame of many
this calm during the storm
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 12, 2017 at 11:45 AM UTC