I'
M
Cut
Deep
And it's
Killing me
You didn't use
A knife just your
Words, but they hu
rt so much more th
an if you sliced my
Wrists up because
You've sliced my he
art into little shreds
And I'm not sure how
I'm going to put it ba
ck together this time,
but I know it will take
Awhile and through it
all I'll have to wear a pr
etty smile, like everyth
ing's ok, but we both kn
ow it's not, I'm.not at all,
but that's the price I pay
**Maybe next
Time you co
uld literally
slice my heart
from my chest
and slowly wa
tch  eme bleed
out and die, cau
se that would not
Hurt as much as
This feeling I
Have right now
But the idea of
Being without
You in any way
Hurts so much
Maybe I'll just
Use this knife
To cut away at
My own pain

am i pretty enough for you
when i stain my wrists crimson
as i cry myself to sleep
my demons greeting me with
skeletal arms that are always open for me

am i pretty enough for you
when i rub myself raw
in the hot spray of my shower head
as i cleanse the grime that coats my blemished skin

am i beautiful enough
will you finally write sonnets about me
wtite epic tragedies
plays in my honor

darling i am a walking apology
im sorry i cant be beautiful enough
but maybe if i cut off the parts of me i don't like
the fat that hangs off my belly
the jiggle in my thighs
the too flat nose

you'll finally love me back

I sit here
unaware that the tapping of
the yellow pencil in my
right hand is disturbing my neighbor.

I used to call him every saturday morning.

As I try not to fall asleep again
during first period,
I think about him,
about what I would take back
if I could.

I'd take back that look of sincerity,
because I wasn't.
I'd take back all of those
hours we shared in Central Park.
Not because I want to erase him.
I just want to
erase who I was.

A girl with
a reality that had been
soaked in arrogance.
Someone who didn't know
when or why
to say no.

I should have
said no to him.

I loved that he loved me.
Not because it was
him who loved me
but
because it was
someone new.
Maybe if I tried hard enough
I could have loved him back or
at least pretended to.

I don't think that
any amount of trying
would have made me
change my mind.

I can't stand people
who get mad at p(r)etty things.

I can't walk alone with you if you're gonna wear your clothes beautifully like that, and if you don't mess up your hair real quick I think I'm gonna snap. I can't look at you if you're gonna strut with all you got, and don't you flash your eyes at me or I'll have to gouge them out