The worst feeling in the world is that of realization.
Not realization as in enlightenment.
Realization as in that crushing moment when your wold falls and cumbles landing on your already broken heart.
Realization is when it hits you.
He's not yours anymore.
You can't text him anymore
He's not gonna tell you everything is okay.
He's never gonna say he loves you anymore.
He doesn't
You do.
He has moved on
You haven't.
He has a new girlfriend
It makes you cry.
He ignores you
You reach out to him as though searching for a lifeline.
As if a single hello will pull you out of the waters your drowning in.
Realization hurts.
Like when it hits that as your crying alone he's in another girls embrace.
As your breaking down
She's holding your world.
As you sit blade poised over your wrist.
She's kissing him and he's saying he loves her.
Just like he said to you.
He knows he hurt you
He doesn't care
He knows your crying
He wont be their.
He never will
Ever again.
After I put this pen down I'm done.
I'm going to block him
Delete the messages
Forget he once resided in my heart.
And move on.
So I can he happy.
This realization wont destroy me.
I won't let it.
Ever.

I had pulled you to the top
I scraped my knees and burried my hands
You sore above
While my wings were your guide
I opened you up into my world
Let you hold the gold
In times dueing
It turned to dust
But you covered it up
With a smile and lust
And the only reason i find this out
Is because you blow the dust
Stright into my mouth
I dont give you the satisfactory of seeing me choke
But on the inside i cant breath
And you will never know
My world around slowly cumbles
And you walk out the door
I vist the world of others
To help rebuild my own
But i feel like all their gold i touch
Turns to dust
And that i am the burdan weight apon their shoulder
So i return back to where i belong
I scrape my knees
And bury my hands
In a place that used to made of gold
Now covered in dust
And alone
...
But atleast
You're at the top of this world
Thats my boy