you don't understand how long some people have been here
you don't understand the changes we've seen
you don't understand how much we've longed for the people to
be who they be
you don't understand how it breaks our hearts
to see such infighting
bought to our world from other pages
used to back biting
you don't understand, for us
that have believed from the start
that Hello Poetry was once a place
where we always laid our heart
we gave over our life to this place
we endured every change
when you see something different here
know we have suffered more than this strange
once upon a time
in an awesome time and place
when people googled
Poetry
they found this space
they found inspiration
they found laughter that never ends
they found confidantes and a place
to plant
a never ending garden of friends
So if you're from another site
drawn here by the skin of tooth
sit a while in our midnight garden
and I'll speak to you a truth

Hello Poetry has been my best friend
for over 5 years, and all the friends
I've found on here, they've danced beneath my laugh, and held onto me so tight
that if I ever fall so wrong, they'll make
it all right

And that's the saddest thing
about Hello Poetry today...
is that most don't try
to make true friends
really real friends
or interact with them
in any meaningful way

Slimy sea feet.
Sandy salt tongues.
Gabby gulls and cautious *****.
Boardwalk smiles and sticky ice cream fingers.
Ripened hearts and eager tide eyes.
Tears in my ears from the satisfied sun seeking silence.

This is where I belong.
This is where I know God.

I don’t belong in a town that can offer me nothing.
I don’t belong in a massive city that’ll swallow me up.
I don’t belong at silly soirees or late night parties.
I don’t belong at the top tier or down with the underdogs.

I belong on the shores.
I belong arm in arm with my confidantes, walking through downtown streets of some sweet town.
I belong hand in hand with my true companion with our toes in the sand.
I belong sipping soda with my sisters giggling endlessly as we watch some cheesy chick flick.
I belong hugging my mama who I will never stop loving for an instant.
I belong sitting with my father drinking tea in the purest, sweetest silence, for that is how we were made to be.

I belong listening to my dad’s tall tales and my mothers soothing words.
I belong holding my stomach with my face streaked with tear drops from some joke that is only funny if you were there.
I belong forever in the future with that one, the one whom was made for me; the Tilney to my Catherine.
I belong holding the gazes of my friends as we try to hold back our cackles, tears, and even our own words.

I belong in the waves of the sea.
I only belong in the happiest of salty tears.

I can’t belong where I’m too afraid to face my fears.
I won’t belong in broken gears.
I’ll not for a moment belong in heartbroken wares.  

I’ve never belonged in them, but they live inside me.
They have and always will be
My demons and my skeletons
Yet you will always see them on my sleeves
So everyone can see they do not devour me.

From the other room
I listen as you explain the many, many, many
reasons, things, times, and appointments
that necessarily mean
the end
of us

The otherness and incidentals
of the often forgotten
details and to-dos
of lives
better
and happier lived

From the other room
I listen as you describe your life in words of
painful regret, missed opportunities and hopeless futures
that don’t exist
so very much
for me

The pain and ingratitude
of a poor life
disrespect and disregard
becoming the
ante
of daily living

From the other room
I listen as you check emails and vmails and texts
of agreement, refreshment, and immediate joy
that shower down
from new confidantes
not me

The pleasure of escaping
from the marital mundane
dancing and drinking
re-becoming
the woman
admired

From the other room
I remember the choices we made
when agreement was agreeable and available
that made lives
worth
living well

The simpleness of a look
the knowing confidence
day in and day out
when someone,
You,
cared.

         10.iii.10

The raven
comes to me
constantly,
always in my dreams
crowding out the streets
where I made beer bottles
into Batman and the Joker,
clinking them against each other
mimicking a fight,
I could save everything
back then.

Now the streets are filled
with ticking feet,
the streets are filled
with streetlights
threaded with
feathers in the glow,
in the same
moment
I could wake up in a cold sweat,
****** myself,
fearful
that someone's in my
room,
I don't know what has happened
to my mind,
but it's not a safe place
any more,
no confidantes,
no saving grace
or saving bells
except the one
in the distance,
the foghorn
behind glass,
and the fog
a house
of caws.

Cornered by two-faced,
Three-faced, uncountable-faced,
No-faced monsters-
The so-called confidantes,
Well-wishers and friends,
Who deep down are back-stabbing fiends-
I put up a brave face,
And try to take them on,
With a true face, my only face.
I will hold my own

Cloaked in heavy shrouds
Covered in clingy doubts
Enveloped in dark grey clouds
Among those dizzy routes
Is the truth

Protected with locks of lies
Hidden from common view
The answer to all the whys
Cure for diseases too
Is the truth

A realists real reality
A distressed soul’s gateway to sanity
A confidantes vow to secrecy
The key to life of eternity
Is the truth

You don't have his eyes memorized.
You know they're green, sometimes
But they're elusive when you try to draw them with your fingers.
You aren't confidantes with every last cell in his hands
Or know the moons of his fingernails.
And you can't taste his lips when he's not there.

You don't know him yet, and that's fine.
But you need to remember that.
I think if you had his minutiae immortalized in your mind
And you could already sculpt his eyes out of air
You would be in far too deep
Far too soon.

Bare feet on the sand in summer
running hard over the hot bits
to get to the water quickly
the freedom from concrete

climb over the fence after dark
stifled laughter private frissons
skinny dipping a rite of passage
the freedom to be naked

laughter and the camaraderie
of long time association
friends and confidantes
the freedom to be happy

divisions fixed by polarities
religious racial ethnic and economic
still absolute rights for all
the freedom of the first amendment

but still
not for a woman’s right  to her body
not for the terminally ill to die
not for political asylum
not for driving while black
not for gay and LBGT
not for equal rights to marry
but yet and still
the freedom to vote for change

I'm drawn into the matrix,    
From fear of scrutiny    
Cast by relentless metrics.    

I'm rather confined    
to pixilated companions,    
Digital confidantes, with tales entwined.    

Trying to escape my demise,    
They know not my reality,        
But only my virtuality.    

Give me the red pills,    
Where I will embrace
Comforting illusion of sacred thrills.

Immersing ourselves in virtual laughter,    
In a world of simulation wonder.

destination unknown
for this Earthling
stardate: February 26th, 2022

At sea since time immemorial
I relish being alone
upon oceanic expanse
yours truly doth bemoan
me gal Sal (one among
numerous female confidantes),
no matter, she easily
mistaken as a crone
magical powers keep
her manning far aloft drone
as surveillance hovers above me
(to intercept encrypted

communication maintained
courtesy bluetooth earphone)
the two of us sol survivors
I feel like a foreigner since
global thermonuclear war
bombed webbed wide world
into pulverized power
vaguely similar landscape
to age of Fred Flintstone
and Barney Rubble
recurring memories redolent
of yesteryear, whereby I groan
though simple living

such as me and the missus
did Potschke coaxing homegrown
organic fruits and vegetables,
though, I attest we did
get violently angry with each other
and unwittingly cross interzone
where brickbats exchanged,
especially after she discovered
an illicit extramarital affair
between myself and Joan
since kindergarten her I known.

Weather beaten cap'n,
and watertight bewitched craft
time tested since maiden voyage
(circumnavigating the globe
back in the day of my youth),
I ranked tough as a pitbull,
when severely pitted
against raw elements
of swiftly tailored,
harried stylish nature
against leathery faced

reptilian skin, hard drinking
(actually as corked
poetic convenience - vermouth
arbitrary bottle of choice
if for no other reason,
than to rhyme
with the above line),
and tobacco spitting, while
colorfully swearing as an uncouth
Furies (of Agamemnon)
fighting (tooth

and nail) Pirate,
where rickets, scurvy,
and thrice unconscious,
currently ample proof
could not forsooth
bring me to Davy Jones's locker,
cuz I never wanna
get relegated to an underwater
whale schooled booth,
this raconteur can nonchalantly,
glibly, and blithely attest,

with braggadocio, despite
no warm welcome will
ever greet mine tinnitus
pained ears, I can plainly
imagine acrimonious retort
upon me behest
his far more'n lifetime
bobbing (like a sponge)
square pants float
buoyed atop crest longing e'en for
(carping, caviling, hen pecking,
or shrewish) wife.

Productive days
Of improv humor
Lately I’m
A real late bloomer
But a tumor
Lurks beneath
Metastasizing
In the deep
The sunset looming
Out of reach
No one to share
Its fading heat
And I fear never
Will return
Shall once more lend her ear
To learn
The myriad
Aways of me
Intricacies
Deceptively
Expressed
In this
Suppressive state
Oasis
‘Bout to immolate
At any moment
But despair
Still constitutes
The everywhere
I go,

No golden fools
Aglow,
Nor soulless ghouls
Sold out for show
Quite artfully enough
Pretense
My shattered psyche
Imp laments,
As I laugh last
At their expense
Though not aghast
At class
Distinction
Just as natural
As extinction
More surprised to find
The kind
Of people
Who see dollar signs  
Can look like me, or you, or us
Just must be someone
I could trust
Like confidantes
No strings attached
Contracted obligation
Scratched

Can only
Return
To inspired
So seldom
We grow old
Withhold
What we feel
Is unwelcome
To others
We may
Trust the most
Confidantes
Who most likely desire
What nobody wants
To impart,
Or apprise,
Or describe
Candidly
When for free
It is offered
So off-handedly
By the back-handed,
Off the cuff,
Tongue in cheek
Flattery
Frenemies cattily
Cat-calling
Blabbing spree
You find amusing
And humorous
Yes?
I guess besties
Just really means
Who wore it best
But at least reflects
Some attempt
Semblance
Expressed
Of two people
As fake
As the real world
Can get