you have been lying to me.
you have let me curled up beside you & stare at you with starry eyes,
letting me believe that it was just my mind creating this doubt about your honesty but my soul was screaming at me to pay attention because somehow deep down i know that you have been lying to me.
i told myself that i trusted you & that i wouldn't look at your phone even though you spend more time starting at the glow of your phone than you do speaking to me.
i told myself i wouldn't look at your phone so i tried to forget the four digits that make up your password but i memorized them & i tried to confuse myself by saying as many numbers in my mind as possible but i memorized them.
i memoriezed them because i'm nosy & untrusting of men but also because you have proven more than once before that you are untrustworthy.
yet still i ignored the growling & snarling underneath my heart telling me you were hiding something from me, yet i still ignored the tightness in my chest & the migraines building in my brain from stress of lying to myself about your deceptions.
but of course, the growling became roaring & i couldn't contain the anxiety, the fear & curiousity of what the f#k are you doing behind my back?
so as you were in the kitchen i pressed in those four digits to reveal the lies you kept from me & immediately the pain of a thousand sharpened needles pierced my chest yet a part of me was not surprised, after all this wasn't the first time...
& i told you to get out & for a moment i was strong enough to let go but the more i explained my pain, the less i could resist & i fell again under your seduction & empty promises of changing...
& as i got ready for work this morning, suppressing the open wounds in my heart & the hollowness in my breath, i saw you sleeping in the bed.
for a moment i smiled but then remembered all you've done to tear apart my heart & soul & soon enough i felt my fingers curl around your phone again to be sure that you meant it this time.
but all i saw was that you decided to change only the platform on which you hide your lies from me...

but i am insane
& i stay

i can feel myself transforming into the empty shell of a human, a ghost haunting myself, a memory of a being that was once so loving, kind, strong & intelligent.
but i now am just a silhouette that you can project whatever you'd like onto it.
you have created an empty body, a doll, a toy, a puppet that you can make dance for you at any moment in time.
is that what you wanted? because if so then..
*you win

Dear Diary,

It seens that I appear to be stuck in my own mind. Trapped perhaps, in this horrible thought process of mine.
Been locked up in a cage of hatred towards myself. What was it that I had done for a concequence like this one?
Seeking answers never given. Searching for clues never placed.
But like a maze, found a reason to keep walking till freedom was found at last.
But no, not in this case. Yes I did find the exit to this maze and I had a reason to do so. However freedom was not a reward.
It was much more than that.
It was an answer to all that had been questioned. An answer to a prayer laid to rest. A message in a bottle reached me, as it was read a smile drawn upon my face.
No smile had meant more than the one drawn that instant.
Drawn, in fact, by an artist himself.
Never had I called myself to bear such beautiful smile but he, had drawn it with the hands of an artist a genious.
An artist whose canvas was a human body, the skin of those who craved that sting in return for a memory. A work of art.
This artist managed to draw the most incredible smile upon my face that I had ever laid eyes on. Impressive I must admit.
But how was said artist capable of this?
With words painted in the back of my mind as he spoke, bursts of joy flew.
An artist who once loved this selfish being and who had permanently drawn her name on his own personal canvas with a beating heart.
An artist she calls superman.

-Kathia Mariana Landeros

I will Stay guarded until they Prove it.
           This is truth with a Consequence rather you can Live with it or not The concequence is Lonliness... No More Pain, as Long as You have your gaurd up You will always see through The Fraude but let yourself be aware of who is fraud and who is not. If the type of Love most people think is Love wares you down, Than When you know or Feel with a Passion that the True Love has entered your presence/Heart how do you not Let your Pains of the past not dictate your over all descision to be truly happy and truly in Love "If The Feelings we Have for TRUE Love really exist anymore?"

Those who aren't scared of fear
Can protect everything dear
Hence the reason you hold them near
Call 'em dear or baby
The picture of a man
Or a photo of the perfect lady
It's you I choose
I accept the concequence of win or lose
Putting all my eggs in the basket
My nervousness
I wish I could mask it
Now I laugh at it
It's just proof
Of the truth of my words
So if your a little bit scared
It means you are prepared
To take that journey
To seek that fact
You stepped over the line
Of no turning back

The confines of this hotel room are all to pure,
as the devastating concequence of what brought us to this place is all to obscure.
And the windows are cracked, to help vent out the waryness,
but not even the constant air conditioning can blow out the bleak and bring us bliss.
We’ve shared many cigarettes by the balcony of our bathtub,
and tried to rid of the pain though books and coffee by a train hub.
But nothing can seem to rid the void between,
and my toes grow numb each day we loose belief.
Soon, I will no longer stand this, and niether can you,
and tomorrow we will awake with lips dark navy blue.

So as I am finally tired, and you’ve become cold, lets wrap together beneath the sheets while we can,
because tomorrow’s fatigue will creep up quickly, baby,
and choke me just like a man

You don't find it.
YOU CREATE IT.
It starts with -
Just because I can, I have the will.
Because I have the will, I have the means,
because I have the means, I allocate time.
Because Time is precious, I Prioritise.
Because priorities compete, I assign equal times to needs.
thus I begin.
Once I begin, I reprioritise, because I can ...

A thought with no action is of no concequence

This is a world of virtual communities
There are friends and lots of opportunities
At the same time we feel lonely
We become unskilled and started feeling lowly
The chaos in it , the hateful comments
We reply to fast in just a moment
We don't think about the concequence
And the bickering goes on without conconance
We become anti social, afraid to interact
Resulting- depression,fictional dystopia and we are trapped
It's necessary to check the comments share and like
After every hour of post ,in mind it strike
We become self obsessed, following influencers
After knowing the fact, they are money maker
We kills our time just scrolling on it
Sometimes advertiser make our time split
At the end of day we got nothing
Some true, some fake story and it keep buzzing
But I  don't understand the algorithm
We lost our societies mechanism
It's a place for voiceless people
But overuse , abuse, make it illegal
This is a world of social media
It is a black and white encyclopaedia