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Wade Redfearn Mar 2010
I get the hunch that the ashes of kindergarten,
Lunchboxes, the national anthem
Are floating from the edge of us
So many sophomore stars from a cigarette’s tip,

Somewhere down the mountain we lost our winter coats
And bicycle summers, and plastic sailboats,
No puddles and rainboots, or slick soft dogs
And paper flowers, captured fish and frogs

We try to jump in puddles, and we float

Deep-bright and hissing in the city chill
Childhood traded for strange soft skin
Grumpy cats and boardgames for mixed drinks and casual ***
And the cicadas gaily chirping fall away like

Fishbowl-helmet astronauts, lost without gravity
Mercury, Venus, Youth,
Maturity, Jupiter, Saturn

We are never kids again,
Nor adults until we die

wait until the phone rings
and the teacher goes inside,
under the slide at Recess:
you can put your lips on mine
Just ask me.
captured in the psych ward ——  a strange word——— something to do with bludger



today ron has his hands full when a person came after tying an 11 year old boy to the toilet

and he started to get these weird voices in his head, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it,

you see his youth wasn’t bad, there was a bit of teasing but his parents think the teasing could’ve

been the reason why he did the crime, you see his brother said, be a oh ledger, which made no

fucken sense, and it could be a strange name because he didn’t want his sibling to be labelled a

pheadphile, and ron was talking to him asking him, why did you attack that child and he said

because i wanted him to suffer for what my school mates were doing to me, you see my school mates

are calling me a ole ledger, which makes no sense, and ron said, maybe they are calling you that, because

they feel guilty calling you a phedaphile, or they prefer to not call a mate a phedaphile, and then ron said

or maybe they are saying young bludger or a dole bludger because you look lazy to me, and then the man got

up and said, i am a bit of a bludger, but i am not a dole bludger, i want to work, but most of the jobs i like to do

are jobs that this crime would stop me from doing, and charlie chaplin came up to the man and said, charlie’s my name

what is yours and he said, kidnapper bill, you see i kidnapped a kid named bill, and now i am in here, being called

a oh ludger, and charlie said, they are calling you what, and he said a oh ludger, you see i was getting teased all my life

and i took out revenge on them by destroying the life of a litte kid, and ron said, do you think you should tell very many people

because charlie will tell and it could make your time in here uncomfortable and he said, i can handle it, and he said, like when

i grabbed that kid, i felt good, i was just about to make the past leave my mind, because those teasers were horrible to me

and then ron said ok they called you a oh ludger, which makes no sense, why the devil was that word in your head because

it is not a word in the english language, and then the child molestor said, my name is gordon mcllumsy, and i am 23 years old

and i have been getting teased all my life, and my brother peter mclumsy is calling me a oh ludger, because he wanted to

keep it from our father that he thought i was a pheadphile, i don’t believe in having *** with a kid, i just tied him up and threaten him

if he tells the cops, well obviously he did, and he’ll pay for it, and pete, my brother said, your a oh ludger, and since that day my mind

was so messed up, i thought he was treating me like a family person, or a dole bludger or a young bludger, but now you guys have

arrested me, the voice has stopped but pete came the other day, and i heard the words oh ludger come out of his mouth

and i hear those words 25 times in one day, i am trying to relax in here but the voice of my brother says you are a oh ludger, oh ludger

and i told him, yeah a dole bludger or a young bludger or maybe even a sports watcher, because gordon was watching the sport when

that voice became clearer, and he had hallucinations of his mates at school saying, your getting teased gordon, we tried to push you over

the edge and now you are getting teased and ron said ok, and when these kids teased you, what did they say, and gordon said, they went yeah mate

to me every time i did family stuff, like play footy or cricket, or even when we played boardgames, and gordon hated that, screaming out

LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE, I AM A FAMILY PERSON, and this happened every day for gordon, and most of the time it wasn’t just yeah mate

sometimes, bullies would pick on him, by jabbing pocket knives into his neck or gut, or jabbing ball point pens onto his ***** and gordon said

LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE, I AM A FAMILY PERSON, and the head bully of the school locked gordon in the school store room, saying

you will be here overnight, **** and gordon wanted to get out, and eventually a teacher let him go, and then gordon told rob, i wanted revenge

on these bullies, and this kid got in my way, and since that day, i heard the voices, oh ludger coming out of my brother and mates, and i thought

this meant nothing, and gordon still thought they meant dole kludgier, sports watcher or young bludger, but gordon thought pete was a real little

smart alek and needed to be taught a very big lesson, because gordon isn’t really a pheadaphile, he was just bullied around at school by stupid

jealous school kids and ron thought straight away that gordon needs medication to calm his mind, so he chose 300 mils largactil at night and

200 mills serenace in the morning, and ron thought with talk therapy, this should work, so he gave him his first dose of serenade, and he was still

hearing the words oh ludger, which could’ve meant sports watcher or dole bludger or young bludger or even a special name so pete and gordon’s parents

don’t find out that pete was treating gordon like a family person, and gordon was walking around yelling with words saying, i am not a pheadaphile, please

stop treating me like a phedaphile and gordon yelled at anyone who looked at him when they watched the news which made ron come out and try

and settle him down, gordon said, stop treating me like a little kid, I AM A RUN OF THE MILL, HEAVY DUTY MAN, dudes, and then gordon goes to his room

and then hears the words oh ludger, don’t be a yeah mate yeah kid, gordon, be a oh ludger, which means nothing to gordon and gordon yelled out

LEAVE ME ALONE YA ****, I AM NOT A OH LUDGER, i could be a dole bludger or a sports watcher, or a young bludger, but i am not a phedaphile

that kid had it f..n coming and i don’t deserve being captured in ron’s psych ward, being shoved on any medications, i want the best, f..n rupert and

then the order forms came out for lunch and dinner and gordon ordered his meals and went to his room yelling at his voices calling him a oh ludger

and gordon said, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, then ron, who was terribly worried about gordon gave him 2 values and said just relax because you

are causing people to complain about you, and the ****** sent gordon off to sleep till his family, including pete came to visit him and gordon told his parents

to stay, but pete had to go, because, he can hear oh ludger coming from his teasing voice which forced me to being a kidnapper, dudes and ron thought

that maybe his parents need to understand what medication gordon is on and that he hears voices of pete calling him a oh ludger which could be a dole bludger

or a sportswatcher or a young bludger or a fancy way that pete says he is a pheadaphile, to make make you feel great, and we put gordon on largactil and

serenace to control his urges to abduct children, apparently he was taking revenge on kids at his school and then gordon spent 2 hours with his parents

and his parents left, and it was almost dinner time and gordon went out to the dinner table and at dinner time, gordon got what he ordered, fish and chips

and vegetables with a orange juice and a chocolate mousse and after dinner ron gave gordon his largactil and gordon went to his room, missed supper

because he was having a big sleep, where he awoke at 5 am, and he went out to the dining room to wait for 2 hours for breakfast and medications, but

he told the nurses he had a dream about being burnt at a stake, because he remembered being treated like an old witch when he was 13 and when ron

came after his lovely time at home with pizza and sleeping on the couch, turned up at the hdu to give the patients the morning medications and ron

asked gordon, are you still hearing old ludger and gordon said, yeah, i f..n am and i started by thinking they were treating me like a sports watcher as

i was watching the tennis last night, but i fell asleep, and gordon still doesn’t understand what old ludger actually meant and then lunch came with

gordon yelling at his voices so loudly and then afternoon tea, with gordon having 3 pieces of the cake and then dinner came, and gordon started hearing

voices in ron and the nurses, and that started driving him completely nuts, and gordon told ron, and ron decided to give him more serenace and start

by trialling eppelim on him to be taken at lunch time to reduce the voices he hears and then dinner came and gordon ate his dinner and then ron brought

around the nightly medications and then ron clocked off and bought lunch at his favourite cafe and went home and watched greys anatomy and fell asleep

on the couch, while gordon was still bothered by the word old ludger, but it was calming slowly but surely.
Blank Space Dec 2014
You were not my first
Nor my last
But you did the one thing no one else has done
You loved me fiercely and let me love you back
You loved me in a way I didn’t know was possible,
I grew up in a home filled with tight smiles and forced laughter

You showed me what made life magical
How being loved and loving could transform the world and make it a little less scary
You taught me to communicate emotions and how to cry
You let me love your parents and have them take me into their hearts
You showed me what a family could feel like

The days you skipped classes with me so we could lie in your bed and talk, cry and laugh, I felt your love surge through me the most
You never got angry that I would just get sad and refuse to eat even though I needed that more than your arms
I miss your arms

It has been 4 years since we broke up.
I have loved and lost some since then
But letting you go still haunts me
Your eyes, smile and hands still haunt me
The memory of boardgames with your brothers, baking with your mother and the sound of your dad playing the saxophone through the house still taunt me late at night.

I should not have let you go.
I should not have been so afraid of such an intense love.
But as you know affection frightens me
Your family’s love frightened me

So here I am simply reminiscing about the days when I had everything I wanted but couldn’t allow myself to keep it.
I still love you.
So I was just speaking about this guy earlier today and it brought it all back. Just how good he was for me and I just couldn't accept it.
laura Jan 2019
When I look inside
my very own room,
I see a room that
used to be owned by my older sister.
When I look inside
my very own room,
I see a shelf of some
of the toys I have
received over the years.
When I look inside
my very own room,
I see a twin sized bed,
that I got a couple years ago.
When I look inside
my very own room,
I see a shelf with
gobs of my favorite
books.
When I look inside
my very own room,
I see a bunch of,
sports posters around the wall.
When I look inside
my very own room,
I see a dresser
with some very special
items on top of it.
When I look inside
my very own room,
I see a closet
full of clothes, puzzles,
and boardgames.
When I look inside
my very own room
I see a window
that I look out of
every single day.
When I look inside
my very own room,
I see my very own
personality.
This is a poem written by my 9 year old brother Simeon. He was very eager to have you guys read it.
Shreya Jan 2019
we love and present on a platter
our hearts to
the same boys who send **** pics
and convince us to get tattoos,
the ones who leave one month later leaving
scars so deep we only wish they were tattoos

we change our minds for and offer
ourselves
to the boys that play us like
the boardgames you pull off the shelves
the ones that cheat
and roll the dice on what to do with us

we fall down and down
drown deeper and deeper in love
with the boys that wonder if we’re relevant
if we’ll boost their coolness level to way high above
the ones that give us smiles, shining eyes
and words that mean the world to us but nothing to them

we would give our worlds away
to the boys who make
their universe out of stolen hearts
and never give but always always always take,
the ones that never learned
how to love anything except the feeling of being loved.
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2018
is America still trying to
be relevant, culturally
within the confines of Europe
by exporting their last resort,
no longer poem song or painting
resorting to staging
its dumbest sport outcast
that's füßball at Wembley
when, sure as **** I'd rather
watch baseball like any ***
over the complexity of
grr... cricket...
      call me a ****- and don
me in a toga and I'll sing
you, a ******* canary song...
to ensure: one touch,
fifteen minutes of advertising...
and they said that fans of metal
music were a butcher's sweetbits
worth of cranium jelly...
con con, con cuss 'ushion...
bet doll on the ramming buck...
origins of baseball,
palant... schlagbalz...
even ******* regenmensch
collected the world series cards...
not in the land famed for
rug, grub and by the by of rugged
botox injected into *******...
    pucker lips weeding out
the prince charming ******
to a hideous wart oozing lips...
            desperation comes
at Wembley... in the form
of cultural exhaustion...
        came the song, then came the sports...
NHL on Loch Ness...
baseball toyed with at the Oval...
but... is this an actual sport
or one of those boardgames 3D
where you paint the figurines,
warhammer, over complicating
throwing dice?
    gambling and striptease...
            and the most beautiful words
she said to me was:
   i have STD check regurarly...
i don't mind wearing the rubber...
late in his life socrates wondered
why be ****** to a married life
with an ever-demanding wife...
to cite Plato: what man visited
a *******, we will look at him
with an ackward gaze...
                 likewise...
   i'm surprised he managed to
listen to the nagging of xanthippe...
     aquam sordidam anima mea mundus.
IZ J Nov 2020
There were three floors in my house.
three floors all full of my gratitude.

The first floor.
it held my bedroom.
this floor was hours spent gazing from my window seat,
it was long warm showers in winter-
and making sure I blew out my candle before it could burn down my curtains.

My second floor.
it belongs to my mother.
her kitchen, her T.V, her view of our backyard.
she made her tea here, yelled at the news, and watched my brothers play outside.
her favorite living room carpet that has now become ashes.

Our third floor.
the safest.
after all, heat rises.
it was my father's basement,
my brother's bedroom,
it's where we watched movies, played boardgames, and shed monopoly's great tears.
now it's all that remains.

We weren't home when the fire happened.
When my candle caught hold of our memories.

Maybe I should have seen it coming.
I was the one who chose the crisp campfire scent.
Empty wine bottles
Boardgames
Makeup stained sheets
Give it a few weeks
Our periods sync
our hair clogs together
in the shower drain
We lose track of who's is whos
And share laughter clothes and virtue
DIY haircuts
Phobias
Leftovers
Milk carton sniffing
Living with women

We scrape around
Recycling Tuesdays
Two pound for the bus to town
But I like to walk around
rents gone up
So has life
Overpriced
Cod and chips
Read my lips
Pre-drinks so we can afford
to go out on the ****
Self diagnosis
No sleep
Sore feet
Feed the cat
Call me back
Borrowed socks
All I've got
Something always missing
Living with women

Gratitude
expired ****
Deliveroo
No looroll mid poo
Overjoyed
Underpaid
Petty fights
Pilau rice
Love of my life
what's should we watch tonight?
Deadlines
Parking fines
2 sugars please
Mind at ease
But eek those shoes don't go with these
Panic attack
Midnight snack
Summers gone just like that

Long weekends
Best friends
Manic episode
Girl code
Sound proof
Shortbread
Bed head
Bad breath
Razor blades
Lucazade
Feng shui
Hungover for days
Like we're running out of ways
keeping entertained for free
Bordem beginning
Monotonous misery
Fomo
Comrodory
Unnecessary jealously
But you bring out the best in me
Sloppy secrets
Morning mindgames patrol
Toilet bowl throw up goal
Empowered
After hours
Talking till it's all said twice
247 advice
Ready salted luck you've been given
The days you thank ****
To know these women

— The End —