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Pagan Paul Feb 2018
.
I travelled the lands out to the West,
of all the cities I am most impressed,
with Melk, by mountains and sea it rests,
ruled by the Queen, Lyenna of Cressed.

Her beauty is famed throughout the land,
with many suitors for her vacant hand,
none of whom will ever understand,
she will marry only her own hearts plan.

I met Lyenna in her Palace of Green,
and my eyes saw beauty they had never seen,
so mysterious and delicate this foreign Queen,
seductive and distant with charms unseen.

Invited to an audience within the walls,
how could I not reply to this royal call,
these affairs tend towards a chaotic squall,
a chance to meet a Queen in her Great Hall.

“Lord Pagan of Poetica, I'm pleased to meet you,
its so nice for me to personally greet you”.
Her soft voice designed just to defeat you,
her ravishing beauty on show to unseat you.

With reddened cheeks I was able to say
“Its my pleasure indeed to meet you this day,
though the ground is cold and the sky is grey,
your presence brings the warm sun my way”.

My charm raised a blush and a smile,
she was happy to tarry with me awhile,
in the gardens we must have walked a mile,
her suitors barely concealing jealousy and bile.

Then Queen Lyenna whispered a secret to me,
she was waiting for a man from across the sea,
until he came she would hold on with assurity,
to her chastity, her love and her purity.

Her confidence in me was by no means assuaged,
but her secret I keep dear like an animal caged,
as deep within a raw and primal fire still raged,
I felt this moment could not have been better staged.

Her shy request to become my lover,
gifting to me what she would give no other,
my desire and lust I could no longer cover,
my heart was hers, no longer for another.

Disillusioned with the men in her land,
refusing them all she had made her stand,
not acquiescing to what her father planned,
the smile in her eyes said “I've got my man”.


From 'Selected Works'
by Lord Pagan of Poetica


© Pagan Paul (08/02/18)
.
Faith Maxine Jan 2013
Blasphemy!
Must you harass my soul
Heat breathes from within
Ah! How you vex
Mocked assurity
charismatic inquity
Magnetically persuaded
Hell can be evaded
But once
Pantomime with my
Heart strings
Positvely attracted
To that which is negatively
Perceived
With so much ease
Doth that rock role down
The hill
Artificial light...
Crushed with each rotation
How hard fell I for you
Upon a hill...
Upon a hill...
Repeatedly pelted
With this divine purpose
Blasphemy!
Must it be
This sin I furtively commit
Wilting
Internally
Looked upon as if
My skin is no longer adhered to these decayed bones
Looking inside of me
My downfalls
Splashed in my face
Oh! I'm melting!
...for her
But a consonant
No larger than a rock in the road
Return to me
Reverberation occurs
Rebounding off the walls of
Your thought cavity
He...R
Three dots seperate me from
"Straight is the path and narrow is the way"
And
Homosexuality
~Deciding Factor~
Before we judge, sometimes we should step back and think..."it could've been me."
LJ Jul 2016
The summer sky is beautiful
strokes of marigold and roses*
collide in commotion of love
In such a glorious sweet day
kisses evaporate in ecstasy
the wild hunts our losses
In fences where we peep
then weep as we seep
our compatible bloodline
Moments of our euphoria
drawn in infinite definition
seduces us under the sun stroke
The youth we hold is fading
as the old we await takes pace
lets wait, hold each throats
Touch me as the autumn sets
no doubts is running the veins
assurity as this hearts beats
Be a strength when pulse cease
ease my burdens when they weigh
light me up when the blood is cold
When the numbness taunts
tease and progress it to eternity
*stain me from inside out
Among uncertainties in life,
no body can provide assurity in a changing world.

As I am growing old with the mercy of time.
Too some extent, I have lost my purity in life.
I have a desire to purify myself right from beginning to the level of consciousness.
As I am aged year by year,
I find myself vague and unclear.
I have  strong desires for purification.
I need balance in life,
I'm balancing now myself .
Wandering aimlessly makes a person infertile, unproductive and destructive.
I like a constructive and well adjusted life ,with a deep attraction for living a peaceful and purposeful life.

Nobody can give assurity regarding this except self.
Don't offer me what can be bought,
Or make an offer solely based,
On your soul, when faced,
With guilt seized,
So you can feel guilt flee
Like paying a guilts fee,
Leads you to guilt free.

So if you ever eventually
Find a mind of consciousness mentally    
You'll see, true empathy is empty, leaving sympathy, Rudementally,

Don't give me a coat, for freezing,
Stand in the cold, never leaving
Emotionally, blood in oceans leak
Cut yourself, so as one were bleeding

And I promise you when the years
Reverse and the curse, of your fears
Tear your flesh internally, turn to me
And for eternally I'll shed ur tears

With u, and yes. I know, how peculiar  and convoluted, it is when I say
"don't relinquish food to me
if I'm hungry.....Throw yours away,

Let me know I'm not alone.
Don't pull me out from dark depths
Crawl inside the dark cell in hell where I'm held, Where my secrets are kept

Don't try to heal my insecurities,
Reassuring me, assurity; obnoxious
Instead reveal, what makes you feel
Scars unhealed, or self conscious

Or like the others, be pompous
Judgemental, narcissistic corrosive
psychosomatic vanity, causing insanity a Psychotic fantasy, causing psychosis

To those like me, who see it's atrocious
So plz, keep youe charitable deposit
As it doesn't help me. As much as your
Guilt, so it doesn't hang in your closet

With the other skeletons, and elephants
And other less than eloquent shame
Don't act like u are feeling my pain
Don't R.kelly **** on me &cal;; it rain

I don't wanna stand under your umbrella, stand in the storm with me
So we never fear being with no umbrella, instead knowing that we

Survived the worst, that this earth
Could disperse, so never
Again will we fear it, but more than that, we'd Know whether the weather

Was the worse ever endevoired,
&fall; to death, that is still better
Than life where no ones love, is tested, to never know, what's truly forever

To never know, the beauty in pain
Or gifted lesson, in a hard loss
Cause what can ever be valued, with out knowing how to, sacrifice for a cost
Antony Glaser Mar 2014
Your poise appertains  to  longing
rouge cheeks murmurs awakening,
sunlight  russet  you  aflame
parched, have I conjured expectation?
in needing I first sought assurity
yet endowment flows,
morning dew
greets our windowsill
enriched by the sunrise
set by  manifold glows
I hate how I always need validation
> Like the implication of insecurities are the only assurity that I'll never be alone
>
> Sometimes self love stops at *******
>
> Like the only time I love myself is when I can make myself feel the drastic *******, sensation
> Like the only vacation is ejactulation
> Otherwise the frustration is unbearable
>
> I try to remind myself that true wealth and real health is all about self help, but still I cry out that I am lonely
>
> Sometimes I wonder if being under the covers and under another is the only time I will ever feel whole,
> But deep down I know
> That filling a hole will never fill the hole left by feeling inferior
>
> Sometimes I find security in insecurities
> Sometimes feeling lonesome is the only way I can be alone, and still feel my home is not abandonment
>
> For once I feel the need to not need to succeed in the Greed of another's arms
> Cause being charmed should leave me alarmed but sadly even when I'm harmed I feel more loved than not bein used
>
> Not being bruised or subdued by being seduced, when I know deep down the only truth is that I don't love myself enough
>
> I find it tough to find self worth without some kind of self hurt or without being heard that I am loved
> Or that I'm needed
> But being needed is equivalent to be self defeated, to being depleted, and so I'm scared that I need it just to feel wanted
>
> To feel valued, or feel I am not cursed to be submerged on earth, with no worth, unless I feel first a loving embrace
>
> So I tell myself not to chase a fate without faith and instead of hating my own face, see how great I am and can be
> Without a strangers company, but it's strange to me as I am estranged from self love
>
> So leave the words above and beyond for those who feel they don't belong and let them know that they too can be strong
>
> Strong enough to see that you are enough for u
> And that I too have accrued the same attitude and crude mood of feeling desperation but refuse
>
> Refuse to being locked in a dungeon mocked by my own destruction
> And hope u release yourself as I do from it's abduction
>
> Released from the disease of the need to feel wanted or being left haunted by self hatred
> So I stand here naked, and sedated by leaving castrated the inflated loneliness narrated by my own self consciousness
> And leave only the promise of feeling self love that's honest even if it's only prompted from within
>
> And will no longer entertain the pain of feeling strain from stains left from
> A mundane train of thought
> Exhausted from feeling not good enough ...
>
>
Surbhi Dadhich Jan 2018
My rusting cries reached a deserted destination
Far infinite in the infinite universe
Neither assurity nor dimensions
Rusting cries tore into hell curse
Glorious stars were ashamed of disgrace
The moon bore the fire of hate
Sensitive planets turned insane
Rusting cries cried and turned pale
Reflected and are now again flowing in my veins.
Balance is a thing most found
In those who've walked on solid ground;
Balance, yet, is often craved
By those who often misbehave.
So then a question,
Long in prose;
Is balance sought,
Or predisposed?
For every day, the average man,
Slaves and works,
All he can,
Just enough to earn to eat,
And derives no joy from
From his borrowed seats.
He carries on,
Through different days,
Capable and strong;
He endures the harshest words,
But doesn't think on it for long.
He does not have his limits set
No cause to think it's not over yet.
He lives in self assurity,
The master of his own,
Balanced on a mountain top
Lands rich with seeds he's sown.
And yet those of a different mind,
Are sorted out and left behind
Thought to be a pitied waste,
The bringer of a bitter taste
Their minds so fraught with error,
Just dealing with an added terror;
A confusing hand, dealt at birth,
A disadvantage on this blasted earth,
That those on solid mountain peaks
Do not know, and fear to speak.
And those below don't know what to do,
Wanting balance with naught a clue
Of what it is, or how to find
A stable corner of their mind.
Some have homes, in such messy states;
A place more burden than a home to share;
Some have jobs,
And some have none,
Struggling equals in disrepair.
For what is normal to the man on high,
Is but a dream to those that sigh
And look upwards, to briefly cry
"I'm not broken, I really try!"
But each, in their own worlds, apart
Though born into a different start,
Crave the power that balance brings-
No matter of insanities.
So why treat those who suffer with more
Burdens and troubles built up on thier shores
As if they are foolish to reach up for these things?
Should we not aid them,
Show them their wings?
Or are we afraid that they'll fly higher than we?
Ascend to a separate, sparkling peak?
Shame on our fears,
Shame on us all-
Using predisposed notions
To make other souls fall.
For balance is a thing that's sought,
Elusive, strange, and barely caught
And all are equal in this single thought:
Balance is hard won, not taught.
How do I start...?
This is hard for me...
I probably will only generalize from fear of being ostracized,....
Actually that's a ****** lie too...
not even sure wut I want to say,
Sometimes wut I really wanna say gets polluted by being convoluted cuz it's secondary and secluded
by trying to sound poetic, or smart
then the rest just gets... Included....
I'm not even sure of myself...
My ability....
My limits...
I might even say i find security in insecurity,
Jailed without bail by my emotions and I can't find assurity
Assuring me
a stay on the green mile where I sit, green with envy...
Envious of even ppl I love...
Almost hoping they fail so I'm not alone.....
how truly sick is that?
How could u ever call urself a decent person after thinking that????
And after i drown and drench this depression in drinks
Then dry it off with drugs...
It only gets moist again by the inevitable stream of tears
And u can only let urself down so many ****** times before u can't lie to urself anymore to feel like
..u haven't let everyone else down
And my friends and family can only say ..."I love u"so many times b4 they realize that I don't believe it....
Cuz how can they love me when I don't???
And I'm way past a cry for help
So it's not sympathy,
I don't need it
I have been blessed until now with the most beautiful things life has...
And maybe losing those things has fukked me up....
how do I start....
Ha...
how do I finish....
When I haven't even said anything worth reading....
I use to think I was a writer...
Now I question if I can even do that anymore...
I feel hopelessly dead inside,
and I love my son,
but I can't help feeling trapped, in a sea of failure,
I can't help hating my weak will,
My bad habits,
My lack of motivation
My physical appearance,
My physical appearance
My laziness
And who I've become, when who I was.....
Was so much better.....
My night terrors haunt me...
I miss ppl I shouldn't
I'm jealous of ppl I shouldn't be...
I idolize my godmother for her strength to commit suicide:...
I am everything I use to hate in
others....
I could go on forever
but I'm sick of hearing myself think in silence
Even the voices in my head annoys the **** out of me, and make me sick til I tell myself to shut up....
How do I end this...
....  From judgement of a talented literary point of view...
I can't end it....
Cause...
I never really started....

Cuz when it is your monkey,
And it is your circus...
It's depressskng feeling worthless
When even a clowns have a purpose

.....which is more than me
Philip Connett Apr 2021
Self Feeding System Digesting Gestating
Regurgitated Lies Insider Trading
Atmospheric Tension BI-Polar Shift
Entrenched IN THE Mire Builds Pressure TO Lift

Engorging NO Purging THE Feeling IS Urging
This Active Revolting Deep Sickness IS Surging

Organic Inbreeding
HER **** ARE Bleeding
This Sickness IS Seeding

Little Boys' Notion OF Self Possession
Setting IN Motion HIS OWN Regression
A Lack OF Self Assurity
Convinced OF HIS OWN Purity

Isolation
Alienation
A Nature OF Self Anihilation
Muscular Overcompensation
Dissociation
AND
NOW
AN
EGO
IN
Flames

WAR OF THE Words Each Symbol Provoking
AN Incantation That Summons Invokes
Minds Conform TO Cradle AND Cradle AS ONE
This Little BOY THE NEW Born SON

'I' Speak NOW Louder Than Words
YOU'VE Paid THE Price TO Shepard THE Herds
Mankinds Hubris MY Metal Skin Girds
ALL Souls Strewn FOR Scavvenger Birds
Souls Laid TO Rest FOR Scavenger Birds

They Deify Knees Pressed TO THE Ground
THE ******* OF Bale ' OF ******* Abound
OF Deafening Lies Speaks A Deafening Sound
Worship THE Power OF Little Boys Crown
Worship THE Power OF Litle Boys Crown

I Beat MY Chest I Beat YOU Down
ALL Souls TO Rest Little Boys Come Around
I Beat MY Chest I Beat YOU Down
THE Heart OF THE SUN IN Little Boys Crown
I Beat MY Chest I Beat YOU Down
THE Finger OF GOD Never Touches THE Ground
THE Finger OF GOD Never Touches THE Ground

I Beat MY Chest I Beat YOU Down
Souls Laid TO Rest Little Boys Come Around
I Beat MY Chest I Beat YOU Down
THE Heart OF THE SUN IN Little Boys Crown

I Beat MY Chest I Beat YOU Down
Souls Laid TO Rest Little Boys Come Around
I Beat MY Chest I Beat YOU Down
THE Heart OF THE SUN IN Little Boys Crown

I Beat MY Chest I Beat YOU Down
THE Finger OF GOD Never Touches THE Ground
THE Finger OF GOD Never Touches THE Ground
As if the lyrics to an unwritten song that I wrote in my mid-teenage years...
Jordan Feb 2013
live fully in the moment do not stand in the way of yourself, move with peace and assurity, your hearts calling is your souls conent. - J12
Surbhi Dadhich Nov 2017
She doesn't knew it
For every ladder she seek
Venom snakes are straightened
For her sincerity to mistreat
For her assurity to mislead
She doesn't knew it
The masks of the hypocrisy evil
The instant of their reckless arrival
Her boosting confidence is now an expected trivial
But she knew it
How to deal the callous miseries
Still she's in need of a referee ...
poetryaccident Nov 2017
I apologize to the world
for imperfections they endure
while I struggle to commit
to the covenants in which I’m snared

righteousness flows so easily
assurity of what should be
demands put the lesser folk
this servant jumps when provoked

to find favor with masters' wish
remedies must be put in place
no room to deviate
from requests a world dictates

failure is the final way
invertible by fate's mandate
leaving me with little fare
to support my flawed discourse

the positive is an accident
recognition is the mistake
aberrations that I dismiss
just wait until I fall again

then there are the skeletons
rows in closets I keep barred
from the eyes that would denote
failings not overlooked

there is one fix that will resolve
the chain of errors I evoke
while it's the greatest of them all
at least it bring this to an end

this is my hope before I go
the parting gift of a pained soul
a last apology for all mankind
'I'm sorry' done one more time.

© 2017. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20171115.
A new self-awareness and empowerment movement is afoot, embodied in the book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”.  It says: “take care of yourself, don't care what other people think”.  Here's the rub.  I care too much about what other people think.  I care to the point that I have lost the desire to be competitive.  I care to the point that my self-worth is not my own.  Why?  My contracts, what I’ve agreed to do or be, have been some of the few things holding me here.  Now even the contracts are fracturing as I find myself unable to satisfy the terms.  What is left?  Perhaps a final apology.
Laura Jul 2022
i write to you when i forget
how my feelings work,
and when their nicotine addiction
curves into lost sentiments that break.
they don't know who they are,
so i was born with a strong sense of self,
and the assurity of my next breath,
despite my chronic asthma.

people think you need to be sound,
so he plays spooky guitar noises
to silence the idea that life is quiet.
we are always running for safety,
looking for constance,
some find it in a glass of control,
but i've made peace with not knowing
practically anything at all.

— The End —