I talk too much or not at all
As I'm afraid to sound self-centered
Talking about my insecurities and woe
Just end up making me feel so low

I open my mouth and words pour out
Trying hard not to sound like a victim
But the more I explain, the more in vain
As the worry and fear grows heavier

Communication is key

I understand this to be true
But to capture the full extent
Of my mind at bay is difficult
As words barely make a dent

As I hold my tongue
And the voices they plague me
It's selfish to talk about my own
I fear you take my words as pleas

Framing myself as incapable
Needy and attention-seeking
I can't speak on behalf of my own
As these feelings keep creeping

All these words getting caught in my throat
Leaving me with poor explanations
And them with no ability to understand


~

Itll only hurt for just a second
In the end itll be pleasant.

I don't love you - MCR

Well, when you go
So never think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way
When after all this time that you still owe
You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Baby, get out while you can
When you go
And would you even turn to say
I don't love you like I did yesterday
Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay
And after all the blood that you still owe
Another time was just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Baby, get up while you can
When you go
And would you even turn to say
I don't love you like I did yesterday
Well, come on, come on
When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday"
I don't love you like I loved you yesterday
I don't love you like I loved you yesterday

I dreamed a dream - Les Miserables

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong
I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed, that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream
I dreamed

I don't care enough about me
Because they don't care at all about me
Because I laugh too much when it hurts
And I cry too much when it doesn't
But they don't see it
Maybe because they don't want to see it
Because I'm too much to handle
Because they think I'm crazy
Just because.

And just like that,
     you came back.

As much as I wanted this,
  what if you leave again?

the monsters in my bones
clay away at my skin
begging to be let out
like a dog seeing a squirrel
the rip and tear away at me
destroying me from the inside out

my science teacher has no anxiety

i wonder what thats like