The happiness is gone
The bliss is nonexistent
And the well of dreams has run dry

What used to make me so happy
Has faded into nothing
As I feel nothing

No pain
No reason to cry
I'm not that hurt

Just a drop of dissapointment
Diluted by the satisfaction of
The "I told you so" directed at myself

My old ups and downs
Have mellowed out into
Complimentary pros and cons

I suppose this was the end
Of something great
But of something awful too

This is what I expected
And shall expect going forward
All my joy gets repaid with pain

The beautiful moon recedes
The tide pacifies
The bipolar night is over

Now I can resume living
Without burdening her scheduale
Not feeding off of her radiating bliss

My night no longer spent
Playing my mental albums of her
No longer filled her lovely smile

My morning's no longer wasted
Wishing the dreams from last night
Could come true

It's funny how love dies
How the process hurts so much
And then your reward is nothingness

There's no way to amend this
Even if one of us wanted to
It's all already over

Like bricks
Your words hit the floor

And with a bang
Lines crawled across the tiles

Small at first
But more jagged with time

Until they met the walls
And then it all disappeared

I was being ****** into darkness
Wind ripping past my head

My shirt beating against my chest
And all stability gone

I flailed as I fell
For what seemed to be an eternity

My body burning up
The pain unbearable

Now head first
I saw a light below me

It grew closer
As the heat exponentiated

And then
Splash

All too instantly
The inferno stopped

And in it's place
A soul chilling cold

The darkness returned
Now suspended in blue

My body refused to listen
As my heart thumped against its cage

Every beat begged and pleaded
Longing for the company of yours

Overcome with despair and loneliness
This was truly hell

I used to think it was an emotion
This feeling you got about someone
Much better than happiness
A perpetual state of bliss

Then my world overturned
There's much more I learned
As my emotions grew complex
And myself more perplexed

When your trust is broken
And the relationship is just a token
With love comes jealousy
And hate and pain not ecstasy

As everything they say
Can twist you the wrong way
Yet through all of every game
You love them all the same

This contradictory insanity
Consumed every inch of me
It shook me like thunder
Every night, I'm forced to wonder

After endless thoughts
And countless ideas fought
I came to a conclusion
Not proven, yet well rooted

That love is not a feeling
But a state of being
Where your heart is completely bare
Vulnerable to every tear

She's free to make it sing
To bring joy to everything
Or provoke the darker notes
And life shall don a bitter coat

The thought inside the mind,
the mind inside the thought

The seed inside the tree,
the tree inside the seed

The world inside you,
the you inside the world

The inner space to the outer space,
the outer space to the inner space

The dream inside the mind,
the mind inside the dream

The truth in the lie,
The lie in the truth.

F&cking;**
is what I did before you came along
15 minute sessions
between classes
in a ***** dorm room--
hands clawing
lips mashing
hips crushing--
they filled me up
and then left me feeling empty
broken

but you came and picked the pieces up
stitching me back together with your kisses
you showed me you loved me
in the most intimate of ways
hands holding
lips searching
hips grinding
heating your home in the dead of winter
with the steam off our own bodies.

What made you
Like you are?
Any conversation
Always jars

You can be so mean.
Calling others = low self esteem

To think I could be your friend

Instead of this

Something real

Not
Pretend.