Let all the hustle and bustle swirl around
swirling, twirling
around me in a dizzying frenzy

And suddenly

I fall into your arms, those strong arms
holding me up tough and tall
reminding me how to stand up
To be brave to the world and all
of its ammunition fired at me.

I cried myself to sleep last night.
I wished you could be there,
To hold me close to you and whisper its okay.
It was one scary and unusual lala by.
But am glad I did not see its end.

I cried myself to sleep last night because I kept feeling I had lost you.
But today under the clouded afternoon.
I realise that,
The droplets of my tears melted your heart in your sleep,
And probably planted a short dream about me.
Because today you seem to have remembered me.

I'm in a constant state of being subtly nervous for no apparent reason.

No matter what,
even if I can't stand anything right now,
you always make me smile.

Does happiness ever actually come?
Day to day I tell myself
that it's just around the corner,
but it seems these days like
I'm stuck in an infinite cul-de-sac.
A dead end that I've been stuck at since
the time we were no longer on this
road together.
I desperately need to know what
it's like to not wake up everyday
and question if I'm ever going to
get better. If there will be a time
in which I no longer need my poetry.
I no longer need a source of venting.
Venting that only spirals me down,
down a path that is impossible to climb
back up from. From a tortured soul, I
wish you could see that I'm not healing.
Healing only happens to those strong enough
to fix the pieces of themselves that
the world so effortlessly shattered.

Shattered. You left me broken, in
a million puzzle pieces that no one
can put back together. I'll
never get to be whole again. The image
of myself you left me tainted with is
a disaster. It appears as though
you took my edges,
and no one ever starts a puzzle from the inside.