the coffee shop on 1st street
you told me my eyes were warm and belonged here
I shrugged and gulped my coffee even though it burned my tongue
the bookstore on 2nd street
you told me my hands were made of love from the pages I've turned
I glanced at you and nervously chewed my fingernails until it hurt
the music store on 3rd street
you told me my heart was an acoustic guitar that'd been misplayed
I tripped over my shoelace and madly tied them up along with my heart
the arcade on 4th street
you told me my smile was worth all the time and effort because I deserved it
I went to the bathroom and before I left I smiled in the mirrors a little too hard
the beach off 5th street
you asked me what I was so afraid of that kept holding me back
I let the sand crumble between my fingers and told you that I was the sand and you were the waves

will be replaced by hers
and I could think of nothing worse.

i suppose there is a lot of unsung symbolism in giving someone a plant, as plants have become an average gift to give in occasions of celebration, such as moving into a new home or graduating from school.

every moment i am with you is a cause for celebration.
you are a celebration.

no matter how many plants i can give you to put on the windowsill in your bedroom will symbolize the celebration i feel in knowing you to it's true color.

because i feel fireworks in my chest brighter and louder than the ones we kissed under and i feel happier and bubblier with you than drinking the alcohol i like to drink too much of and you give me more pleasant thoughts than the color i chose to paint the walls of my bedroom

and no matter how many poems i write
and no matter how many words i say
none of them quite amount to the sheer immensity of what i feel for you

It's easy to fall in love with someone. To take your white knuckles off of the rails of stability and let yourself land into someone's arms. You'll fall in love over and over again in one lifetime. But you, you were so different. It wasn't like anything I've felt before. You reminded me of the pale moon because you would shed light during my darkest times and you were always picking me up and dusting me off. In many ways you were my own temporary heaven. But I'm afraid I wasn't your heaven, maybe, maybe I was your hell. My demons scratched on my heart and told me to run away. To break your heart and never look back. And that's exactly what I did.

365 days have past and I'm still afraid to look back.  

-BLD