Eleven o'clock in the afternoon today,
Yet my eyes find it hard to keep themselves awake,
While my breath struggles to breathe well, to inhale fate,
And my body tends to eat food that starts to oxidate!
And my mind
is still stuck in between it's broken place
While the broken are breaking bones just to give themselves a break!
And I
try to hide my poems from this world, it's timeless fate,
And sit by
while my generation has the largest growing suicide rate!
But my
friends are pushing closer to the end of that date,
While my
family does it's best to help people find grace!
Why would I
who has all this talent try to stow it away,
When I
could use it to save lives, maybe find someone to save!
Someone open my eyes, let them be open wide!
For these past years I've let go on by
While I sit back down and watch them die!
For every day rises a new sun, a purposeful light
And my days were made for more, not just a singular life!
But the rhyme in my poems keeps me tangled inside
Like my words are solution, but the coffin surprise
Is waiting there for me like I can't tell you why
The pages recede and the shoreline declines
While the shadow in secret awaits me at 9!
My words bring my death and the end of my time!
The promise I wrote you was written in white
So I can say I can't see it, I can say that I'm blind
But the fact that we're dancing has it's own facts implied
That I promised you this, but I left you to die!

Forgive me-
These words were meant to make you whole
But it left you a hole in your side-
Believe me-
These lies were meant to make you know
That I would not tell you goodbye-
Deceive me-
Like I deceived you so intricately
Like the ending was designed by me!
Like I'm the mastermind behind the scheme!
I'm the demon of minds, I'm the things that I speak!

Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
Savor the time you've spent,
Savor the succulence,
For you will find yourself looking back
Wondering why, bottled up in regret.

For the grass fields lying beyond those gates
Take me back home, take me back to the day
Where I first let my eyes stare at you in open gaze,
The moment still fresh in my mind, still open state.
I will not be able to find a friend that I could love
Until the end
Until death brings us home-
For you are the one I chose to hold in all hope.
You are the one that I would walk with forever
Until the grass dries up and we can no longer find a place for our feet.
I want to name a child with you,
I can't share that with anyone else!
For no one in this world could take that place but you,
As I hold your hand and smile at our daughter together.
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you too.

Leaning over the counter
With her light-skinned hands holding her face
From colliding with the cold metal,
She stares blankly at the white walls
Splattered with drippings from the ham,
And the tuna shavings that never made it into the bowl.

She stares blankly
While the heavy purple circles around her eyes
Weigh deeper into her ****** structure,
Like dark fences around the gateway to her soul.
She doesn’t blink

For when she closes her eyes
She can’t help but daydream-
Daddy singing Amber Jean to her
Before he gets wrapped up
And stuffed away in a tight box-
Her boyfriend holding her close
As the ******* is lifted to his nostrils
Before his fists,
Like surprise kisses,
Imprint their love upon the back of her skull-

The doctor’s hands
As he opens the garbage can and dumps the ovaries
Containing the cancer that caused her to believe she’s pregnant –
Something that she can dream of no more.

Tilting her head,
She breathes out for a long time,
Her eyes fixed in place,
And blinks.

don't understand
words, consequences
for
the everything we are
searching
something
than ourselves
something
than we know

Because when my mind finds the time
to sit back and stare blankly at white paper,
I can never find the right opening words,
something about the ocean
or the sunsets
or the cool breeze occasionally blowing in the summer,
that would be able to fully express
the way my eyes tear up
at the vapor like thought
of being able to sit here on the couch
and watch you smile for one more second.

I reach my hands to touch you
in the worst parts
that you want
but i dont
but you do
but we dont
but we do-
the silence creeping in
just enough to rip my hands
onto you
and onto where you want them to,
heavy hands
heavy breaths
in and out,
tongue twisted between lips
and bad lies,
heart brokenness underneath blankets
and blankets of desire
piled on top of hormonic lusts-

I say that i'm sorry

i'm sorry that i don't love you enough to mean
i'm sorry
and to take away the heaviness
weighing down upon my lips
as they quiver and shake
because i regret getting in the car in the first place.

buried on a monday next to old man Jenkins
a hot summers day
stillness
course grass
the rough hands of strangers
the sound of wood hitting dirt

         the shuffle of tired feet

the soft patters of rain
the distant voice of the city


the unforgettable silence