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Layla Thurman Aug 2014
I reach out to take your hand
but your fingers slip from mine

I kiss you in the hallway
but theres never one in return

I wrap my arms around you
but your hands never find my waist

I tell a joke to make you laugh
but no smile reaches your lips

I sit and pat the seat beside me
but you find somewhere else

I send you notes and messages
but there are never any in return

I run my fingers through your hair
but there is no such caress from you.

I still cling to you my love
but I am just a Ghost
Layla Thurman Aug 2014
My head is so full when alone.
my mind races wildly so far from you
I miss the blankness you bring.
Layla Thurman Aug 2014
I wonder if you can find the time to think of me
thoughts crowded with everyone else, anything else
I understand how complicated that must be
yet still, if you could, would you think of me?
Layla Thurman Aug 2014
distance
one ear to the other
Layla Thurman Aug 2014
eyes so blue
hair of gold
her actions new
her sadness old

she tries so hard
her pain she hides well
never relaxing her guard
her happiness she sells

little miss perfect
thats what they all think
"my life isn't worth it"
she writes in dark ink

water filled tubs
perforated skin
men in scrubs
they load her in

her mother cries
she grasps her hand
her father tries
desperate to understand

but she was already dead
a second too late
wrists soaked red
9-22 12:38
This is dedicated to my friend Julia who killed herself back in 2012
Layla Thurman Aug 2014
Can you find the oxygen to breathe
When your smothering yourself with everyone else
Do you understand the complications
The trepidations I have with just being near you.
I'm so easily stressed, depressed, and scared
and giving up my space isn't something I could do
everything is nice, simple an plain.
Being near you is like being part of a neon sign.
all the colors are too bright, the music too loud.
I'm too dull, too soft. I'm not like you.
I could never be a part of you.
It's not because I don't love you
believe me darling I do
But something about me
can't connect with someone like you
I like to pretend sometimes
that I am a part of that bright neon sign
with all the loud colors and bright sounds
but even then I'm still too pastel.
But a girl can dream, at least I think
But in all my confusion I do know
That if I were braver, I would love you.

— The End —