Red dirt haunts the bottom of your boots
All of your curiosity cannot be contained in one suit
You will do the things most men dream of.
You will colonize a land unknown.
I asked you what your dream was
And you said you wanted to go to the stars above
Apparently Mars has always been your dream home
You want to colonize that red speck in the sky
And believe me, I know how good you can colonize
I mean you’ve already taken over my heart
Your footprints will stay there even if we were to part
Your words are more treasured artifacts in my chest
And so far I think I like them better than the rest
Stay on my planet for as long as you need to
I will help you here until Mars needs you
Use my poems as your rocket fuel
Keep them with you until they are useless
Let my hands be your shelter
Make my mind your control center
I will be whatever you need me to
Even after you’ve blasted off into the blue.

I am the definition of emotional baggage
I have way too many problems that I need to manage
You have barely gone through one of my suitcases
I am not sure if you want to travel to this deadly oasis
There are too many childhood memories stuffed away in these containers
Too many things that won’t help make your life that much greater
I don’t think that I’ll be good enough for you
Because I still have too many bags to sieve through
There are too many panic attacks to hold in one bag
And for some reason I can’t throw them away in the trash
I have to keep them by my side and pull them along
They are full of broken monologues
I have too many suicide attempts stuffed away
I have so many unfinished notes that still linger in my day
Most days I feel like dating me is a chore
That the average person would prefer to ignore.
I am not scared to date you because I’m not good enough
I am scared to date you because I have too much
I have too much past and too much sadness
To ever try and help you pursue happiness
I am unfinished masterpiece and I am working on it
But how wants a work in progress this far from being done?
I have so many suitcases that I will let you open
I just don’t want to ruin our moment

She was so down to Earth I’m pretty sure that when she was at her highest when was she was walking on the floor of the Dead Sea.
Her daily outfit was accompanied by an oxygen tank so that when she went underwater she could still breath.
She found it hard to find love because not many humans walked on the floor of the Dead Sea
So occasionally she would go up so she could find someone she could love
And that’s where she spotted me.
I prefer to stay up the stars.
I am at my happiest when I am in another galaxy.
The ground has never been a good place for me.
My daily outfit is also has an oxygen tank but that’s only so I can stay alive on planets where humans shouldn’t be.
I found it hard to find love because not many humans explore Pluto
I only visit the Earth every now and then but I usually don’t go that close to the dirt
But then I saw her.
I saw a girl who had never felt another planet’s dirt under her feet
I decided that for our first date I should take her to Saturn so we could have a picnic on it’s rings
And I couldn’t understand why it wasn’t on the scuba diver’s bucket list
Yet I still got her to agree.
She traded her scuba diving gear for an astronaut’s mask and you should tell she felt out of place
Although that didn’t stop her from dancing with me in space
I didn’t understand how someone could ever love the sea.
How someone could pick a dark plane full of smelly fish
Over looking at the birth of a star while you sit on a satellite dish
According to her I was missing out so I let her pick our next date
She brought me down to her favorite place
And even though I still felt some kind of hate for a place that close to the core
I felt so much closer to her.
Now she takes me to the sea and I take her to Mars
Because she is down to Earth and I am stuck in the stars
But that does not stop our relationship from growing
That does not stop us from loving
That’s only a minor bump in the road
We have built a bridge from her to me the is made entirely out of love
And it is the only thing that we will never need
She makes sure I don’t fly too far away and I make sure that she still dreams.
It is not a perfect relationship.
But it’s all that we will ever need.

Do you really think that we can still be friends
After all of the hurtful **** that you’ve said?
Do you really think that I’m not bitter?
I cried over you for what feels like forever
Of course I’m ******* bitter.
I wasted my laughs on our conversations
I wasted my voice on making sure you knew my levels of adoration
I wasted my love on something nonexistent
Yeah I’m ******* bitter.
You have the nerve to disappear after we broke up
And come back just to talk
About everyone you’ve ****** while we haven’t been together.
And you want to be friends?
Did you think that everything I did for you was platonic?
All the small gifts and touches were nothing but friendly?
Do you really think our relationship ended off of mutual agreement?
Because if you do than you should probably have your memory tested.
You broke things off and I respected your decision.
I thought things were working out
I thought that we’d be together for at least a year without a doubt!
But I was horribly mistaken
According to you our relationship was shaken
Now you’re making up excuses about why you chose the path you’re taken!
We did not end on mutual agreement.
We ended with you saying that you needed time
To try and figure out where you wanted to go with your life
And I said I wanted you to be happy
Even if that meant that it wouldn’t be with me
Obviously I didn’t make you happy.
Maybe my efforts weren’t enough or just too much.
I am ******* bitter at both of us.
I am bitter because mixing our two chemicals was a mistake
I am bitter because I wasn’t the one who walked away.
I am upset because I gave a ****.
But then again I’m human.
I am a human being who gave her heart to someone
It dripped right through your hands
And I’m picking up off of the ground
I am dusting it off and putting it back
I am the only one who needs this heart.
I am the only person who deserves to feel its beats
That was the only lesson you taught me
Is that my heart is mine; no one else's.
I don’t belong to you or any other person
I wish that I could prevent this from happening
Sadly the human heart doesn’t come with a shield
Hell it doesn’t even come with insurance
So yes I am bitter at the fact that you walked away
But I am also bitter because it will happen again some day
And it might even hurt more.

To the girl who doesn’t understand how much I cared for her,
*******.
******* for being the reason I added five new playlists to my Spotify
They all are helping me as I cry
Over the ghost that haunts my hallways
And it’s you.
It’s your whispering words and terms of endearment
That keep me up at night.
Crying my eyes out.
Crying over our broken relationship and my broken heart.
I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that broke.
Why must you still keep breaking my heart?
You don’t even realize you’re doing it.
But when you tell someone that you loved them
And make sure that they know that it’s past tense,
Well honestly if you stabbed me it would have hurt less.
And now your ghost haunts my head.
It tells me that I am loved.
Past tense.
******* and your ****** past tense.
If only I could hire a priest to get this ghost out of my house
Sadly, I am an atheist.
Is it bad that I still cry over your ghost?
At least I used to.
I used to want to hear you say ‘I love you.’
Present tense.
Now those tears have been replaced by anger.
I am angry at your ghost for becoming a stranger.
It doesn’t feel like I know you anymore.
You used to know what to say to fill me with glee
And now everything you say hurts me.
Did ******* other girls help you get over me?
Please tell me.
I actually want to know because no other method is working!
Your ghost is still lying on my bed
Telling me everything I wish you had said.
******* for saying that I never loved you.
I had feelings for you and I hadn’t addressed a few.
You didn’t give me the time to address them.
You say that I didn’t love you
Yet here I am.
Here I am caring like crazy
Almost two months after you ended it
You aren’t making getting over you that easy.
Do you really think I would be in this much pain
If you were only a like like to me?
Well I don’t know.
Those feelings are replaced by pain and anger
Don’t ask me if I love you
Because I don’t know.
I was too scared of ******* up what we had
You told me that you wanted to take things a bit slower
So I did.
I told you that our relationship would be like a traffic light.
And it’s been red for a ******* while.
*******.
You’re a strange ghost sitting in my room.
Maybe if I just date someone else than I’ll get over you.
I’ll never look at a ukulele the same way.
I will never look at Mickey Mouse the same way.
I will never look at love the same way
Because I now I am familiar with heartbreak.
******* for destroying our relationship and my love for love.
I destroyed your ******* flowers.
Because I wanted some strange kind of revenge.
Although your notes still sit in my storage bins
I can’t stand my blue eyes anymore.
Because that was the main feature of mine you adored.
Everywhere I look something reminds me of you.
It’s like your ghost follows me no matter what I do.
I can never stop feeling those chills down my spine.
I am terrified to face the ghost
Because that’s when I’ll realize that it’s my feelings for you.
******* for making me feel things.
For being so **** amazing.
For being the best part of my day.
For being the worst part of my month.
For being my first love.
*******.

Dear Addiction, could you please stop knocking on my door?
        I already have your ***** syringes scattered about my floor.
               You keep on telling me that I want more
        But I’m not very sure.
When you pierce my skin everything stills
        Even though I hate it it feels so much better than the pills
                I don’t want to do anything you have taken my will
        Not only that, you’ve taken everything, including all of my dollar bills
I know that feeling of dry mouth too well.
        They tell me that I can stop but honestly, I can’t tell
                Right now it seems like the only way out of this is a bullet shell
         I don’t know why I crave you when you bring me so much hell
When you crawl your way back into my veins
        Those first hits of pleasure make me go insane
                I start to remember why I got on this crazy train
        But then I remember just how badly you’ve ****** up my brain
I wish I could get your illness out of my head.
        They tell me that I am one twentieth of a gram from ending up dead
                Yet no matter how many warnings are said
        You seem to be the only reason to get out of bed.
I have lied for you.
         I have ****** for you.
                I have done for many awful things for you.
         And I will most likely die because of you.
Dear Addiction, why do you make this so tough?
        They say that abusive relationships aren’t made out of love
                And I know the way you treat me is rough
        But I cannot help what I love.
They say that all you do is harm.
        Yet when my happiness comes into me through a needle in my arm
                And my brain tells me that I should be alarmed
        All I can do is crave your harm.
Your harm makes me feel like I am whole.
        But it also seems to drag me further into the hole.
                It seems that you have taken my soul
        Getting you out of my life is a faraway goal.
Dear Addiction, you’ve hit me with a huge smack.
        You’ve shown me how easy it is for life to get out of whack
                I probably should have stopped before your first attack
        But you had seen to put my life back on track.
Dear Addiction, you fill up my hunger.
        But at the same time I’m starting to feel more and more like a jumper
                I hate you more than I’ve hated any other
       You are my most hated lover.
Dear Addiction,
         I’m giving you an eviction.
                I never even gave you any permission
         To take away my ambitions.
Dear Addiction, I want to send you away.
         But you are still knocking at the door where I stay
                You always do know how to get your way.
        Time to go back to my decay.
Dear Addiction
        Stop ******* knocking. I’m coming!

I love that fact that one day I’ll be walking down the street
Another girl’s hand in mine and when our eyes meet.
She might kiss me.
I love it when a girl kisses me.
I love the fact that one day I will have feelings for someone.
Feelings that I’ve never had before.
There’s a whole chapter of life I haven’t explored.
And it’s called Love.
Sometimes it terrifies me that those three little words
Can make the world a million times better.
But can also be taken away so quickly.
Yet according to experts, it builds character.
I have so much to learn about love
And I am an open mind ready to learn.
I am your student, please teach me
The patterns of your heart beat.
I’m in love with the idea of love.
I’m in love with thoughts of you
Inking your kisses into me
Your hands could leave the prettiest tattoos.
I am in love with love
Because some days it feels like
That is all I can look forward to.
It’s the only feeling I haven't endured.
I am scared to give up my body and soul
To someone. For them to explore
The inner corners of my fragmented mind.
But at the same time;
At the same time I cannot stop reading
Stories of love that make me squeal
Because it’s something that I would love to feel.
So I guess I’ll just wait.
Wait for my time to give someone my world.
Wait for my first lover who I will adore.
And make sure that you know that
I love you.