unfair.


i want to go home


i feel like i’m nothing


like i don’t exist

i feel like i’m NOTHING.



i come for attention,

attention seeker if you will,



but i don’t even get attention at home

i don’t know how to stop.

i don’t even know how it started

i love your hugs

they make me feel warm, happy, protected.


when they thought we were dating,


i guess i liked it.

to see you flustered.


i don’t know if you’re ready

if i’m ready

or even if you like me back

at this point, i don’t know.



you’re so fed up with me.



i guess you’re just,,,



happier with her.



happiest with her.




i’m just in the background, with my arms open, ready to comfort you, if something goes wrong

****, it hurts to be replaced by one of your friend’s girlfriend huh

it hurts.


like someone had stabbed me.  



but it’s okay

since this is all ******* to you

you’re adorable.

i’m sorry she treated you like that man,


you didn’t need to be treated like that

the silly silly ways i plan on forgetting you and your toxic personality towards me and my friends

you did this to yourself

you caused the drama.



i was just the one to stop it.

i write out my feelings.
are they true? are the words i put out true?

hell, i don’t even know.


reading your poems about her, god

*******.


****.

yknow?


i don’t know if i can do this.


i’ve gotten better, honestly,



but now the scent of food makes me gag,


the sight of you makes me warm.


and she glares, making me stop.



i want to hug you.

to call you mine.


BUT GOD I ALWAYS KEEP QUIET FOR TOO LONG AND I DONT EVEN KNOW IF THE THINGS YOU TELL ME ARE TRUE BECAUSE IM SURE YOU WOULDNT TELL MY **** BUT-

but-

but it’s okay.


i’m a bit jealous, is all.


oh well.



at least your happy with the person who took you away

i’ll talk to her, i don’t mind it.


i don’t wanna talk to you

when i read your name, it shifts

it flashes into the name you used to go by

i panic

i cry

who are you?

my mouth tastes sour and disgusting

i haven’t thrown up in a while

i’ve told myself to stop eating.
“you’re fat. quit eating lol”

stop talking.

you’ll just make things worse


stop falling for people


at this point it’s idiotic.


how long will it take u to realise that no one wants you??

i dont care if we're exes. we can still be friends but if u pull out that toxic **** we're over ✌✌

everyone has someone to spend valentine’s day with

she has her girlfriend
he has his boyfriend
she has her girlfriend
they have their crush
they have their family


i don’t have anyone

but hey, to those who are in a relationship

congrats on your first valentine’s day with someone

to you and your demons

i overtake them until theyre my demons.


youre okay


but im even more broken.


so what?

you're happy and t h ats al l tha t ma tte r s t o m e.

school student found dead after friend dies in front of school


they say he committed suicide after he found out that his friend, actually died in front of the school as she’s been saying for years.


he said they wished to run an orphanage

wished to live together with their friends


truly a sad death between two friends

i don’t like this feeling
i feel as if i’m gonna throw up
feel like i’m gonna cry
sob
scream in pain.

it’s not fun.



but it’s fine because you don’t want to tell me your feelings so i won’t tell you mine.


i know you’ll probably see this but


whatever.



i just want to know how youre feeling

include you,

your smile,

your kisses,

everything.


and then it all went away when you showed your true side.

your kisses are sweet like strawberries,

lips red like strawberries.

you taste like strawberries.

you have the sweetness of strawberries.

you can be **** like strawberries.


but like strawberries,

you slowly go rotten and leave me,

missing your strawberry kisses

you said that we could see what would happen.

“if we like each other we can start dating again”


and now you have a girlfriend

ac is a bit loud today.


father asked to talk with her for a while.



i’m *******

after telling me that you weren’t into us

i’m confused

was it always there

please do kiss me whenever you want
hug me
lift me up in the hallways

if you really want to
take my hoodie when it’s sitting on the table
cuddle me in bed

wrap your arms around me
wrap my arms around you

let’s make jokes
jokes about everything.

i’ll write you love poems

i’ll write you love letters

everyday

a good morning text will be sent

arguments about who loves each other more (ps i’ll love you more)

a good night text will be sent.

i’ll call you at 3am just to hear your voice.

i’ll do that for you.



i’d do anything for you

i feel as if you’re making excuses

“i don’t really want to be in relationships right now...”

you’re dating our friend.

“i can’t hang out today, i have a project with my gf, lessons,and i’m getting a hair cut”

okay valid but if you had all these things then why? why did you spend all your time texting the group chat i’m in? all morning.

we already planned to hang out over the weekend before the weekend started,


now i have to deal with you all giddy and **** when you’re with her.

maybe i’ll take a picture for her.

invite her down, maybe later.

just to see her pretty face,

kind heart.

in a picture with me.

"you were in denial until you dated her which is ****** because that means you probably never liked me when we were dating *******."

because i always see you all giddy

fidgeting with her ring

texting her in class.




why was i any different?

wearing a binder

breathing heavily,


"at least i dont have a chest anymore"

i can hear is fizzing when its quiet.




fizzle.


fizzle.


pop.

I think about how you're doing.

I think about you in general,

I think about the possibilities.

Could I hang onto you like a koala because you're so **** tall?

What if I hugged you? Would my head reach your neck?

What if I slipped under your hoodie and hugged you?

Could I sit on your shoulders like a toddler?

I wanna hold your hand, could I hold your hand?

THE ***** MY FAULT

I WASNT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU

I ******* LOVE YOU

SO MUCH

AND YOU JUST ENDED IT TODAY

DID THE KISS MEAN ANYTHING

DID THE LATE NIGHT FACETIME CALLS MEAN ANYTHING

DID THE HUGS MEAN ANYTHING

DID THE I LOVE YOUS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU??!


I GUESS NOT.

I GUESS ******* NOT.


THAT'S FINE

BUT IM OVER YOU NOW.

I STILL LOVE YOU

BUT IM OVER IT.

IM SALTY NOW.


I JUST WANTED TO KEEP YOU UNTIL VALENTINES DAY


WE HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN ON A ******* DATE YET


3 DAYS BEFORE OUR 3 MONTHS

OUR DAYS.


*******-


i love you.

im so sorry

I HATE HEARING YOUR VOICE WHEN I LISTEN TO MY MUSIC

JUST SHUP UP

SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP

I HATE IT

I GET IT

YOU LIKE TO SING

BUT ******* SHUT THE **** UP FOR ONCE

I HATE HEARING YOUR VOICE WHENEVER I LISTEN TO MY MUSIC

ITS SUPPOSED TO BE CALMING

BUT YOU

YOURE MAKING IT SO ******* STRESSFUL NOW


im sorry/

inhale

exhale

nicotine chemicals ruin your brain.

Chugging beers like it's no one's business.


I'm feeling great.


I'm down to the last pack.

Smiling in delight.

Smiling in sorrow.

What's the difference?

You can't tell.

I have no idea where the **** I am.


I've been walking around for hours and mom hasn't found me yet.

No one has.

I WANT TO BE GONE.

******* GONE.

FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER.

I didn't ask for this ****.

I don't want to be a walking mess.

******* hell I should've stayed at the ******* hospital.

*******.

Morning. I'm gonna get ******* wasted today :)

Y'all I might be getting a binder.