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Vanessa Nov 2014
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Am I really still the one who longs to understand your world?

There’s all of this evidence that you’re crazy, but the only thing it does is make me want to go insane, too.

Just to be like you.
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Vanessa Nov 2014
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You love finding out who people truly are, but I love the version of them in my head.
    Daydreams are so much better, though these days, you're dragging me out of my bed and into cars packed full of new people and potential.
    We stay on common ground, live on bare minimums. With you, though, any kind of substance at all is better than my imagination.

You're better than my dreams, and that says a lot.
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Vanessa Sep 2014
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I’d like to see how things played out if it was just you and I.

No person standing guard between us, no safety net if the conversation falls. I want it to be raw and honest.
I want to know how you feel about me. I want you to know how I feel about you.
I want to break everything down until we can see straight to our cores, because like you always said: once you hit the bottom, you can only go up.

Let’s build something from nothing.

Let’s be brave enough to try
Vanessa Feb 2015
Can you smell it on my breath tonight, Does the crescent moon reflect in my eyes
It's getting later and we're still in line
But I'm not coming down for a while

Can you hear it in my laugh tonight, am I too gone, in your cell phone light
Just Tell me now if I should fight
The thrill I took to feel alright

It's so cold out but I'm sweating
It's October, but I'm letting **** go
Ive fallen for other things and older people
Don't care if you know who I'm kissin
If you're offended, keep your distance
I'll worry bout other things and older people



Is it obvious I came here dead
Does it matter if this house is haunted?
Is it clear to you I'm not your friend
I want another one but he forgot it

I should be angry bout what I found out
I can't feel nothing when I'm this barred out
Don't want to start a fight, don't wanna come down
No one but me can hear this ghostly sound


Can you smell it on my breath tonight
Tripping on your front lawn
Does the crescent moon reflect in my eyes
Poppin in an empty barn
It's getting late we're still in line
Don't worry what I told my mom
But I'm not coming down for a while
Am I too gone
Fun fact this is actually a song I wrote
Vanessa Oct 2015
it is hard to trust when all I've known is betrayal
           please don't be mad
      when I can't roll over and play dead like a domesticated dog
            when I'm static and stiff, keeping my distance with wary eyes
      when I need constant reassurance or when the worry pierces my heart
            and pounds off the walls
                  turning me grey
                        tugging at my hair
                               shaking my limbs until I appear to you as a hologram
           a shivering image of a girl
                with a bruised heart
                             and
                      stolen lungs
Vanessa Nov 2015
his storm was over.
     and i was sitting alone on a driveway
wet with rain and rough on my thighs
     your hand was there to pull me up
and you reminded me of the sunrise
     after a year-long night
365 days spent -
                             wasted
                                            - on someone who left me nearly destroyed

     but there was a single sprout of life left in me, a tiny lick of green to prove i was more than he could ****
     and you spent long days and longer nights
nurturing that inside of me -
     that sprout of hope that no one else could find

                 and i hope we're standing together one day
                      years from now
                 with your arm around my waist
                      and your face smiling a foot above mine

     someone will ask how we got so lucky
and we will know the answer


                   you showed me sunshine when i knew
              nothing but storms
                   you saw me at my worst and you stayed
              when no one else did
                  you cared for me when I was all
              anger and hate and sharp edges
                  you taught me how to trust again
              until i was almost human


     the sprout grew into a garden because of you
and all of it is yours

— The End —