Just when one has no clue
It comes at you
Not in a gift box
Not in a day at the beach
Not in an amusement park
Not an ice cream cone laden with rainbow sprinkles
Subtle as a smile
Warm like a kiss from your special someone
Embrace it
Revel in it
From its own space
Its own design
No slight of hand
No spell
Magic
Magic

C@rainbowchaser2021

Baby, it's me who taught you how to love
Out by the docks. On the Puget, where we found Sound
For all our secret thoughts.
               Deep into the night, slurring silence, sipping wine
               We let our feelings talk. A disheveled bed
               Was heaven then
The door was hell, comin' round the bend. Baby,
It was me who taught you how to love,
And it was you who taught me how to stop.

I'm very ugly
So, don't try to convince me that
I'm a very beautiful person
Because at the end of the day,
I hate myself in every single way
I'm not going to lie to myself by saying
There's beauty inside of me that matters
So rest assured, I'll remind myself
That I'm a worthless, terrible person
And nothing you say will make me believe
That i still deserve love
Because no matter what,
I'm not good enough to be loved
And I'm in no position to believe that
Beauty doesn't exist within me
Because whenever I look in the mirror, I always think
Am I as ugly as people say?

(Now read bottom up)

Knowing I disappoint someone
Who believed in me before
Cuts to the core

a frozen flow, like an unfamiliar face
dripping from void to void
sculpts viscous memories from deceitful clay
into echoing tales of a never-was
that bears the fruit of the never-will-be

but perfect waves, like open-endings
are immersed in the possibilities
of living in nothing and no thing
transmuting the phrase "will not be"
into anti-vocabulary