My wrist is getting heavy
How long now have I sat here staring?

I was supposed to be reading
And I'm sure to an outsider that's how it must have seemed

Instead,
the open pages were sunbathing
My right pointer holding one as if to turn it

For, possibly, the past hour

Frozen, but time wasn't

And I had wasted some

Something had triggered something
And just like that
My mind was gone

The rays were burning words
Just like words can burn a heart

It surely wasn't the author's fault
It's been happening to me quite a lot

For, possibly, the past thirty years

Sometimes it feels like
I haven’t done anything right
That’s enough to care about
And somehow
That’s worse than
Doing everything wrong,
At least then,
it’s noticeable
Enough
To care about
And deep down I know it well
I shouldn’t fall back
into bad,
Bad habits
But I can never help it
And
It doesn’t matter anymore
which way I go
Downstream or uphill
I’ll follow life’s flow
And if I don’t end up
where I yearn to be
It doesn’t matter
‘Cause it wasn’t up to me

This mind is a lake
Its waters dark and viscous
Thick like honey
It would
require so much strength to reach
the surface
And if you tried
You'd have to be certain
Which way is up
Because
no beam of light could reach in here
to lead you
You won't drown though
This mind is a kind mind
And you're promised to never feel cold
In its waters
It will take care of you
Keep you sane
No waves can attack
Once you've sunk inside
And you will be loved
And you will be home