a vigilante stepped to me
and said, “i’m on
a terrorist watch list.”
I trusted what he said was true.
i made him up.
he’s in a cult
that brainwashes people
to think for themselves.
he also gave me seeds,
enough to share.

tw suicidal thoughts



As a child
I used to fear
Falling asleep
And never waking up

But now
I think about it
And it seems
An exquisite mercy

Beauty comes from pain
Strength comes from struggle
Bravery comes from fear
But love cannot come from hate

When will the pain turn to beauty?
When will the struggle turn to strength?
When will the fear turn to bravery?

Perhaps it's never to be known
Exploited by greedy hands
Kept away and controlled
Fear, struggle, and pain
Only put in bold
There spawns hate

- Jay M
December 14th, 2020

Sky of grey
Clouds of palest hue
There are many things I wish to say
Great and small, all for you

Imaginably soft
Compared to cotton fluff
Gazed upon from a dusty loft
Full of old trinkets and stuff

Gifts hidden away
Cards and letters bound to stay
Beneath layers of time
Next to paintings of yellow and lime

Cobwebs left by content spiders
To be gazed upon by curious writers
Moved on for better prey
Webs left to be cleaned on an unseen day

- Jay M
January 13th, 2021

A pleasant morning,
Not a sign of warning,
For this day
All good shall stay.

- Jay M
January 22nd, 2021

No lock on the chains today
There is nothing left for you to say
Besides you can't put me on display
No way that I'll stay
Sound okay?

Pick the color, the style
Tell me to sit, stay a while
Wanting to go the extra mile
Not this time

Couldn't get me last time
Won't get me again
No matter the song or rhyme
The roses and then
The same old ****t
Year after year
Don't call me "dear"

Gifts and a meal
Won't make this dream of yours real
I won't play pretend
Can't this game just end?

Let me do what I please
Let me have a day of ease
Maybe sitting under the shade of trees
Enjoying the delicate breeze
Just let me seize
The day for myself
Instead of sitting quietly on a shelf

- Jay M
January 29th, 2021

Blue illuminate
Black conceal
Minutes tick by
Where is fate?

All seems so unreal
In the seconds that fly
Strange, dim light
Unsure of the battles to fight
The foes to be hidden and sly
Or confident and outright

Slip away into sleep
Or rise to face the early dawn?
Fall back into the sweet,
Ever forgiving escape
Or stand and take on what lies ahead
The outstretched hand that can make
Any number of possibilities
From merely that to, instead, realities

To glimpse upon that which may lie ahead,
Or to fall into the tangles of the mind?
To venture forth into that which may become known,
Or to remain entranced in the confines of familiarity?
The answer, the choice to be made
Lies in every dawn.

- Jay M
February 23rd, 2021