I never asked for tenderness,
just proximity—
to be near you,
even if it meant unraveling quietly
at your feet.
You never hid what I was to you—
a pause,
a body to speak through,
a name you forgot
while I memorized your every silence.
You were never kind,
but you were there.
And I learned
that cruelty is warmer
than being alone.
So I let you diminish me.
Piece by piece.
Until the mirror held someone
who only knew how to love
by disappearing.
It should frighten me,
how much I gave away
just to stay in your orbit—
but it doesn’t.
What terrifies me
is who I’d be without you.
Whole?
Happy?
Unrecognizable.
I’d rather loathe the girl
you’ve made me into
than try to love the one
who walks away.
Because hate, at least,
keeps you close.
And I’ve come to prefer
bleeding beside you
over healing alone.
So take what’s left.
Break it,
discard it,
return only when you’re empty.
I’ll still be here—
the ruin you shaped,
the fool who stayed.