Don't judge my feelings for him,
love is not always sink or swim;
love has no destination, neither boundaries nor traditions,
a crime for which I am not going to appeal against any convictions;
love doesn't look for reciprocation
it just happens !! doesn't have any expectations;
pardon me that I have sinned,
let me float away in his whirlwind

Love..
I lied when I said I came for a coffee..
I swung by your cubicle to have a peek at you;
I lied when I said that I missed the exit..
I wanted a few extra minutes with you in the car;
I lied when I said I was super hungry..
I wanted you to invite me for dinner;
I lied when I said I loved movies...
I just wanted to sit beside you for those two short hours;
I lied when I said I wanted to learn that software from you..
I just wanted a license to be around you all the time;
I lied when I said I won’t miss you
I just didn’t have the courage to ask you to stay back
But I am not lying when I say that you are in my every single thought since you left;
and
Now I am lying to myself every single day, that I had never loved you in the first place

He asked me ‘how are you?’
I said ‘I am doing great’
He said ‘cool’
  — conversation ended;
Now I realize how distant we have grown.

When I say I like him means,
despite my fear of heights,
I will fall for him blindfolded from any height

When I say I like him means,
Though I hate goat cheese,
I would eat it just to spend my time with him at the dining

When I say I like him means,
Despite my fright of speed
I would sit in a race car with him

When I say I like him means,
Though I am scared of darkness
I would walk miles at night just to have a glimpse of him

When I say I like him means,
Despite my impatience
I would wait for days, for him to text back, Because I know how busy he is

When I say I like him means
If he says his favorite color is blue
My wardrobe will change till every color of my dress matches to his taste

When I say I like him means
I look at his pictures 1000 times
And search for that glimpse of his fondness

When I say I like him means
I would go over his text messages over and over
To picture his mood in my head,  when he sent me those messages and for that one word where he might have confessed that he likes me too

I walk alone clenching my arms, so that they don't look for you;
I wear a smile and confuse my tears, so that they don't drop for you;
I sing a song so that my heart doesn't speak of you,
yes, I am learning to live without you.

The day was bright and sunny
Bees were humming melodies
Flowers bloomed like innocent smiles
Colorful butterflies painted the garden
Winds spread chanel perfumes..
Clouds sent blessings in showers..
Cheerful conversations surrounded me
Laughter set the mood of the day..
Life seemed beautiful, promising..
It was the day I first met you.

Sun shined up on me even In rains, when you were with me..
Love songs by Taylor Swift were playing in the background when you talked to me..
Cool breeze from ocean was touching my shoulders, giving me the best goosebumps, when you walked beside me..
Espresso tasted like sweet maple syrup, when I shared it with you..
Name calling felt like eulogy, when those words came from you,
Wrath from whole world didn’t matter, when you Stood by me..
Life was beautiful when you were with me..

Wished for the world to a standstill
don't care if time after this, is all uphill
Need no pleasures than just staring at you,
will swim oceans for your rendezvous;

I do not love you with my eyes,
because blindness may vanish my love;
I do not love you with my heart,
One day it might stop beating and **** my love;
I do not love you with my body,
Fire may burn away my love towards you;
I love you with my soul..
soul that lives forever, even after death;

I am not a victim of a broken heart,
I will not ruin my life because of your depart;
I haven't lost faith in love,
I don't think that I am not brave;
Yes, I am a little lost now
but will not giveup like how you disavowed,
will wait for you for ages to come
I loved you truly, madly, deeply; will not succumb

Birthday's do not define my age,
wrinkles do not define my experience;
heartbreaks do not define my vulnerabilities,
rolling tears do not define my fragility;
I am a loving heart
I will beat for you till death tears us apart.

On the brightest sunny days, I miss you;
Even on the darkest nights, I miss you,
When I am with my friends I miss you,
Even when I think I can get over you, I miss you,
When I am drunk, I miss you
Even when I am happy, I miss you
I know that I just find reasons to miss you.. because
I miss you, no matter what; AND
I love you more, when I miss you;

Couples are having fun together,
Singles are looking out for their dreams,
I miss you, so I am going to sleep to celebrate you in my dreams

you inspire me in ways untold
since the time I first met you, I was clean bowled;
your words still linger around and inspire,
looks like the taste of your memories do not expire;
not sure how to move on,
when your thoughts and talks still stalk on.

walking on thorns in search of roses,
hiking through woods for catching the early sunrise..
I tried different ways that can make me happy..
even one night stands quick and snappy..
nothing could fill the gap you left in my life..
realized that my only jive was in being your wife...
wished you could come back to me..
our disagreements and fights were put to sea..

I sailed across oceans to forget you..
I walked miles away from your memories..
I drenched myself in rains to hide the tears..
I peeled my skin off to forget your touch..
I distanced myself from everything that reminds me of you..
I moved farther than I ever could imagine..
but..
I missed you more than I thought I would...

I thought you would be my friend
I thought you would walk with me in my life's sorrows and happiness
I thought I would wake up to you every morning
I thought I would share my cold brew with you every day
I thought I would laugh with you in all our best moments
I thought I would hug you forever...
Never thought that you would remain in my memories alone..

Today again the weather is dismal
no rain, but clouds everywhere
Today again the city seems to be empty
roads are deserted
Today again I feel alone in the crowd
I feel the silence in the chaos
Today again my eyes are wet
and my heart is aching.
Today again you are not with me
and my life seems worthless

Please do not get me out this darkness,
I am not in depression,
please do not get me out of this aloneness,
this is my heart, where your memories go on a procession.

Dear..
I have accepted the fact that you are long gone...
But I don’t know when I will stop hoping that you will come back...

If walking distant miles will make me forget you..
I will walk to the moon
If falling from a height will erase my memories of you..
I will nosedive from mt everest
If holding my breath will suffocate you out of my system..
I will swim oceans holding my breath..

My mind keeps playing all our old conversations,
looks like I am unable to move away from your fixations;
still waiting with a hope that I would see you,
not yet ready to bid you adieu;

My friends tell me that I am an optimist;
they are not aware that I breathe
in the only hope of meeting you.

Winter has passed, summer came and went by,
but the feeling of your presence has never gone away;
The only thing I say to myself everyday
is to not let your memories overstay;
But looks like my heart won the battle over my mind,
lost the war in keeping my tears confined.;

People judge and inflict pain..
efforts to satisfy them will end up in vain;
people have unquenchable thirst..
expectations, accusations at the worst;
getting attached to people transforms to love,
for a moment you will be happy and Jive;
Its an illusion, a fallacy, a myth
a momentary blyth;
history is the evidence for all the pain that love inflicts,
it only turns sane to addicts;
Loving objects is much more gratifying,
they stand with you fortifying;
I know that objects may not love you back,
but a plack is better than a smack.

I am neither a major in literature
nor a follower of shakespeare
I am no native English speaker,
not a creative writer
I just write what I feel about you,
and people think I am a poet

Like the fresh snow on tahoe mountains
Like the water from a molten glacier
Like the fire erupting from molten lava
Like the breeze on the countryside
Like the smell of a jasmine
Like the smile of an infant
my love for you is pure !!!

I have come a long way from the past
Walking with you, for you, steering life like a mast;

The road was jerky, the travel was bumpy
But I stood stalwart beside you, tolerating all your grumpy;

You challenged my beliefs
you questioned my practices
But I choose to ignore your critique
As I loved you once..to speak;  

But as time passed by and as we aged,
life's hurdles increased
The support that I needed from you dwindled;

Mornings turned in to evenings and days into nights
enduringly waiting to be in your limelight;

My feeling of loneliness only grew with me
My depression and sorrow only aged with me

But without questioning my destiny
I dragged my feet all along, that were bonded by our matrimony;
Without blaming you, my acquainted
I worked hard to keep the life with you untainted

But everything changed with the warmth of the sun that the new hope brought along
Everything changed with the beautiful rainbow that the untimely shower has brought along;

First time in a decade I smiled my cheeks out
First time in a decade my skin glowed a hundred fireflies;
First time in a decade I was wishful for the future
First time in a decade I could see the end of the tunnel brighter;

I questioned myself on the new hope a thousand times
And debated myself as to why this was never felt with you anytime earlier;

I was more torn now than ever
Because my whole life with you seemed like a false endeavour;

But the hope awakened me, the new wind guided me
The showers purged me, the fresh bright rainbows uplifted me;

And
Without me knowing myself, I fell for him
Without me knowing myself, I started liking him;

Believe me when I say it was not an easy decision
trust me when I say I don't recognize myself when I am with you.

But...
Now I chose to ignore the sorrow and set forward on a hopeful mission
Take a step forward and give me a chance to find the purpose of life with new hope.

Please let me  go and leave the sorrow behind
Please let me experience the joy that I forgot that it ever existed
Please unchain me from your *******
Please allow me to dream and let the hope salvage...

I forgot your reminiscences that were keeping me awake at nights,
I shut out the thoughts that reminded me of you,
I put away all your souvenirs and pioneered on a journey without you,
I shrugged off at every mention of your name,
But
Everything hit a reset switch- the moment I ran in to you today !!
Now I have to push myself out of this graveyard again, mend my broken heart again,
Erase your memories again, write off your name again.
Looks like I will have to be born again..

When an angel grants me my birthday wish..
I will ask to see your smile again,
Actually no,
I will ask to hear your voice again
Actually no,
I will ask a beer with you,
Hmm no,
I will ask for a walk with you,
Hmm no,
I will ask for your touch again,
Actually no,
I will ask for a date with you,
Hmm no, thats still not enough;
Actually what ever I ask for, you will still not be with me;
So I am going to ask for rewriting a moment, a moment where I let you go.

Many people walk in to our life's tracks
some leave and some stay back;
my poor heart couldn't differentiate,
didn't know that it shouldn't take the bait;
it miss took you for a soul mate,
and ended up in life with a checkmate.

oh my dear heart, have some wisdom,
don't lead me in to cognitive autism;
help me break my bond with him,
don't let my lips sing his hymn;
save me from drowning in his memories,
bring me a time machine to escape these centuries.

Your smile..
Is the only hope that keeps me alive..
Makes me ignore the world around and dance in a jive..
Want to capture it with my lips,
but you are far away, so framed it in my heart ..to drive away my eclipse..

I close my eyes often,
sometimes to shut you off and sometimes to go back to you..
I sit alone with my wine from sunset to sunrise.,
sometimes to shut you off and sometimes to go back to you..
I uproariously sing to the acid house..
sometimes to shut you off and sometimes to go back to you..
wish I had an option to pick and choose..
forever and a day would have been with my poetry's muse..

watching you tell tall tales..
like I was in a beautiful dream..
wishing for the dusk to give way for the dawn..
so that I can have a glimpse of you again..
you gave me many beautiful moments
a life full of YOU to resonante..

You left, but love stayed back with me;
Fortunately
Love is not a person, its a feeling that cannot be robbed.

You gave me something to lose
don't worry I am happy even with your residues

Tears,
they do not mean only pain;
or don’t just depict suffering..
drop by drop, mist by mist
they have the power to move coldhearts;
and can outsmart a hundred words;
Tears
they are a blessing, only to a privileged few,
they roll only for a precious few;
Tears
they were always with me when I missed you,
they moisted my dry sleepless eyes, when even my brain had no clue
Tears
I treasured every drop that rolled over my cheeks
oyesterized them more dearly than pearls,
as they are not just any tiny water droplets,
they are full of irreplaceable YOU!!

If you tell me that flowers make you happy,
I will grow a garden for you;
If books are your passion,
I will build a library for you;
Say you love snow,
I will drive you to Alaska and build you a igloo
If you tell me that you love stars,
I will sit by you at night on the beach, stargazing
Tell me if you want a house..
I will give you a home;
Just say that you need me..
I will leave the world to be with you..

Drawings on the sand will be washed by waves
floods can destroy metal engraves;
writings on the wall will get eroded by rains
hurricanes can destroy petroglyphs on castles in spain,
Fire will burn scriptures on paper..
tattoos on skin can be quashed by a scraper..
So I am preserving my love for you in my heart..
will wait for you to love me back, till death tears us apart

Ubiquitous Darkness
Its when my eyes can only see your face in a large crowd.
it's what happens to my brain, when you touch me..
It's in my deafening ears, when all I can hear is, your voice..

Ubiquitous Darkness..
Its when I cuddled you at night...
locked you tight in between my arms..
staring in to your hazelnut eyes..
expecting you to kiss me on my lips..

Ubiquitous Darkness..
its a room full of your memories that entrapped me..
A feeling that doesn't leave me..since you left me..
An emotion that I carry on my sleeve now..
An inclination that started growing up on me..

Ubiquitous Darkness, a vibe that I want to get rid off, to watch a beautiful sunrise with you by my side....

I don't want to die now,
to all the angels and demons, I will bow;
It's not time for me to leave this earth,
It is really not the moment to think of re-birth;
It is hard to explain to these.. heartless,
YOU not being with me hurts less...
what really maims me is ...you not missing me..
what really gashes me is.. you moving on..
but I will wait for that moment...for you to smile back at me..
will hold on to my last breath till then...will not disappear undersea.

Like the untiring sun, who sets every evening
   but still rises up every morning
Like the blooming flowers, who end up withered,
   but still blossom beautifully everytime
Like the bird chakor, who unrequitedly loves moon
    knowing it can never reach him
I will not give up loving you, though you may never love me back

Its okay if you can’t love me back,
I am used to encountering cul de sac;
Though I know that we don't hold the future together,
I will wait for you, till the end of my life's tether;

I will not complain that you left me..
Because....
Every minute that you stared at me, made me feel that I look beautiful too..
Every laugh you shared with me, made me feel that I can be happy too..
Every touch of you made me realize that I still can feel love..
Every moment that I spent with you made me feel that life can be beautiful
Yes, I will not complain that you left me…
I will wait for your return..if not this life.. Next life it is..
Yea, you are worth the wait..for me.

I think I just felt music in my ears..
a cold breeze just touched my shoulders..
my goosebumps became super evident..
my heart just missed a beat..
my cheeks turned pink..red..
felt a lump in my throat..
my eyes started scanning everyone around me..
Thought you came back to me..
**** it
It was just your recorded voice that played on my phone..

I fell like dialing your number and hearing your voice,
But I don’t want to be that weak person, between us;
I rather will find other reasons to be weak;

I would rather breakup my sobriety
and drink up before its noon;
I would rather cryout in public
I rather quit nonsmoking tag,
I rather gulp chocolate and giveup on calorie counts
I rather text myself hearts,
and prove that I am weak;

Yes,I will not call you; I am not weak;

Gentle fingers that touched me from bottom to the top
trying to ******* to you without a slop;
inch by inch.. moment by moment...
not worried if I am committing a sin that has no atonement..
my eyes yearning for your mesmerizing hazelnut eyes;
my nose trying to sense your manly cologne,
and my heart surreptitiously trying to listen to your breath..
a moment that I can die for or the only reason to live for..
Everything disappeared, when I regained my senses
to realize that you are miles apart with someone else..
And here I am still struggling to be not myself..