I didn’t know that we would become like one,
            as if in order to truly form a thought,
                            the other must first know it.

I didn’t know the rest of the world would fall away
              and leave me with just you.

I didn’t know that just you would be enough.

I didn’t know that you were enough to make me smile,
                to make me laugh, to make me cry,
                                              To make me love.

I didn’t know that I would lie awake every night
                waiting with bated breath.

I didn’t know that with each moment I would fall harder
                 faster for you.

I didn’t know that you would be the first person
                 I would fall in love with.

I didn’t know that to love you was everything.

I didn’t know that my love wouldn't be enough.

she brushes my hand
she gazes deeply into my eyes

i pull her closer
i wrap my arms around her

her head rests in the crook of my neck
her breath hitches as i brush circles on her hip

i lead her to the dance floor
i can't believe how beautiful she is pressed against me

she turns to me and says
she has to go
she is spending the night at Pete's

i feel my stomach drop
i don't understand where i went wrong
i go home alone.

beat, beat, beat, constrict.
                 my heart burns at the thought of you.

in, in, in, out.
                my breath stops as your gaze brushes mine.

slow, slow, slow, quick.
                my skin ignites as fingers drag across bodies.

bodies meet and worlds collide,
we come alive together.

I can't wait to close my eyes,
for I know when I drift away,
I will find you.

During the day you are lost to me,
eyes open and searching,
but I'm lost in a sea of people rushing past.

At night I dream of you,
and the world finally makes sense,
I'm at peace with you in my arms again.

Stuck

My words at the tip of my tongue

But I hold back

Out of fear

Accept me

Please

I beg

I want to be free

Why is it
that I feel so empty
when I give away a part of myself?

Feel the heat, when our eyes meet across the room, sending thrills through our bodies.
Feel the warmth spread from me into you, pulling us together, making us breathe as one.
Our breaths are shallow, our hearts beat fast, we feel every place we touch, and are painfully aware of anywhere we don't.

I hold back and I hide.
I don’t share with the world what I am feeling inside.
I let myself think it,
I let myself believe it.
But if it never leaves my head,
Will it ever be real?

Why am I so afraid?
Speaking my truth is all that will give me peace.
I shrink back from it,
I’m curled up in a ball in the corner of my mind.
Waiting to be consumed,
The darkness surrounds me.

Sometimes I think I see the light,
Flickers here and there remind me I’m not alone.
I’ve almost followed them out,
Out of the darkness,
Out of the pain,
Out of the shadows of doubt and torment.

But as quickly as I stand up,
I am pulled right back.
I return to my corner,
It’s comfortable there.
The shadows are my friends,
The darkness shields me from pain.

But it’s the moments when her arms are around me,
It’s these moments when I run the hardest to get out.
Her eyes tell me I can do it,
Her touch tells me she’ll catch me.
But when I blink,
The shadows rush back in.

The darkness tells me to look away.
Look away, don’t let her pull you out!
This corner is where you are comfortable,
This corner protects you, remember?
I shrink back from her touch,
I look at anything but her.

Trapped or kept safe?
It’s an endless cycle and I can’t escape.
I curl back up into myself,
Shadows fall back across my shoulders.
I’m crying on the inside,
I’m smiling on the outside.

Oh to be free from the depths of my mind!
I think about leaving my corner,
Emerging from the darkness,
Brushing off the shadows.
Exclaiming to the world who I am!
And running straight to her.