my job is swallowing

happiness

is not what i've been experiencing
today

don't end your life my man

you're here
to stay

rivers of dust
ninetynine cents
beastly fightin' wit
glowing nails
ain't no fakirs it is bloodshed
fakers neither knuckles bloodred

feel verse seven: just a bloodbath

Have you ever liked someone so much you regret meeting them?

I remember the evening
that we sat clinging
to paper cups
of coffee gone cold

over secrets spilled and memories told
two bodies cursed
with hearts grown old

behind your eyes
I found new worlds
A winding road stretched out for miles
to a small cafe at the end of the isle

Sweet pastries filled the mouths
of those who sat beside us
and stayed for a while.

How the hours went by,
people just passing through
The descending sun ending
a forever with you.

Poem


I am everything I once was not

And once I feared to be

Before I feared I had no fear,

For that was never me.


I knew not of the burning pain,

The pain that helps them all.

The kind that bids the rest away 

But only adds to my downfall.


The silent nights alone and still

I sit in lies and and count.

I count the the things I once could not

The things "I never will".


But did, and do, and will again.

I will until I'm done.

Done with pain and lies and hope, 

My hope will soon be gone.


I will not keep this up forever.

Not through eternity.

I sit and wait until it comes,

My day to finally see.


My day has passed again and more,

But I fear for who should not.

My day will pass again today,

For another week I will rot.

Closet Doll
             It was a day,
             A day like any other,
             A day filled with hope and desire,
             A day she could admire,

             If only she could go ahead,
             If only she did not regret,
             If only a chance had been presented,
             A closet doll could never quite forget,

             It’s been a while before she could see,
             Before she could see, how lovely solitude could be,
             Before she could understand, understand how
             Forsaken she was now.

             Little by little, her faith had faded,
             Little by little becoming unmotivated,
             Maybe, it had completely depleted.

             Her love  eliminated,
             Her hope eradicated,
             Her dreams evaporated.
             In the end, there was nothing she could do.